Classic funny quotations

1, there is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

A selection of funny sentences.

When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this is a private car.

3. Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow ugly because they study well.

4. I feel special. I have watched Journey to the West 86 for many years. I always thought 100 episodes, at least 50-60 episodes. As a result, I want to watch it today, and there are only 25 episodes. When I was a child, I always felt that I couldn't finish reading. Do you think Journey to the West is very long?

It's an insult to my dark circles that someone wears blue eye shadow!

6. I like you so much that you will die.

7. I am not a superman, because I wear pants outside my underwear.

8. If this is not love, then I'd rather sell cabbage.

9. Waiting for your concern until I close my heart.

10, it is inevitable to blame the hand of time and write love as love.

1 1, the weather is as hot as a joke and life is like nonsense.

12, don't dawdle, or the days will mix you up.

13, if you are destined not to give me the expected response. Then keep a safe distance.

14. Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers now. A friend especially felt: Now that technology is developing so fast, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen. Another friend said: you are so stupid! Do I have to walk over and poke with my finger without the remote control?

15, when I love you, what you say is what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

16, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?

17, woman, eloquence is common but figure is not common; Men are often numbers, not money.

18, I accidentally want to grow old with you.

19, it was still very easy to mix in ancient times. Cut it and you can be a civil servant.

20. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

2 1, I'm going to make a download software called Muer. Because lightning is inaudible.

22. The merry-go-round is the most cruel in the world. Games, chasing each other, are always separated by a sad distance.

23. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

24. When time and patience are luxuries, we can only get to know each other through horoscopes.

25. Raising fish is very troublesome. I often forget to change water once a week. Then I have to change the fish once a week.

26. You are too short! Let me borrow your telescope to see more clearly. Am I not handsome?

27. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to look at Feng Shui for the grave; Confession is digging your own grave; Marriage is a double suicide; Empathy is moving the grave; A third party, it's a grave robbery!

28. People always see us holding hands happily. In fact, the truth is: yes, once I let go, she will go shopping.

29. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

30. Wear other people's shoes and take other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor find their way.

3 1, there is a grave in my heart, where widows are buried.

32. Couples need to investigate deeply, otherwise how can they get to know each other?

33. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

You are not a traffic policeman in my mind, so you have no right to interfere in my direction.

35. When summer comes, I realize that staying in a cool place is not a curse. This is definitely the most sincere concern and the deepest love.

Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

38. Think about the salary ratio. Forget it. I don't want to live.

39. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell the slag.

40. Some people are as smart as the weather and changeable. Some people are as stupid as the weather forecast, and they can't tell when the weather changes.