Are there any funny jokes? They are super funny.

1: One day, Mosquito and Mantis went to peek at a woman's bath. Mosquito said proudly, Look, I stung her chest twice ten years ago, and now it's so swollen. Mantis said unconvinced, what's the matter? I chopped a knife between her legs ten years ago, and it's still bleeding every month ... < P > 2. In the hospital, a family was happy to have a baby, and the baby just spoke, and the child said, "Grandpa." Grandpa died with a sigh. The child said, "Grandma." Grandma died with a sigh. The child said, "Dad." His father died, and when he saw that he was not dead, at this time, the child's uncle died.

3: Kangaroo and frog go to * *, Kangaroo does it three times and two times, and only listens to the frog next door all night. One, two, three. Hey! Kangaroo is so envious. The next day, Kangaroo said, "Wow! ~ ~ Brother Frog, you are great! 。” The frog said, "C, I didn't jump into bed all night! ~ ~ "

4. An elephant asked the camel," Why does your MM grow on your back? " The camel said, "Stay away, I don't talk to things that grow on JJ's face!" " The snake laughed wildly after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned to the snake and said, "Laugh P! You have a face on JJ, you are not qualified! "

5. A poor scholar worked hard to study, so he wrote a couplet in front of his door to encourage himself. The first couplet reads:' Sleeping in a thatched cottage and closing the door to play the word', the second couplet reads:' Lying on your feet and playing the flute', and the second couplet reads:' Willing to obey your destiny'. One day, a man from Henan passed by and was curious when he saw this couplet. He read it aloud in his hometown dialect:' Who's C and I'm P',' I told him to get hurt' ... Yo, there are horizontal comments! But this time he read it backwards:' Do it again tomorrow!'

6. A female kindergarten teacher led her students to swim and accidentally showed a Y hair. A student asked the teacher, what is that? The female teacher pulled it out and said it was a thread!

7: The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy has no choice but to take off his pants and say that you will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said that my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want!

8 A girl confessed her crime to the priest … Girl: Father, I am guilty. Father: Son, what crime have you committed? Girl: Yesterday, I scolded a man: "You son of a bitch! Father: Why? Did he do something to you? Girl: He … He touched my X department. Father: You mean like this? (The priest reaches out and touches the girl's X department) Girl: Hmm … Yes. Father: You have no reason to scold him just like that. Girl: But … take off my clothes again … Father: You mean like this? Girl: Yes, that's right. Father: But you still have no reason to scold him. Girl: Then … he turned off the light and carried me to bed, just … Father: (* smiles) You mean like this? (The priest also turned off the light and carried the girl to the bed … Girl: (A few minutes later) Yes … That's it. Father: My dear child, even so, you still have no reason to call him "you …" Girl: But he has AIDS! ! Father: That son of a bitch! ! !

9: The driver sent the leader to a literary evening, and the leader entered the venue. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that I am a system with the leader, and the security guard said: Chicken X is also a system with eggs. Chicken X goes in, but can eggs go in?

1; A man came to a local gym to lose weight in order to slim himself down. There were various fitness plans in the gym, which seemed quite complicated, so this guy chose the cheapest one, that is, to lose a pound in an hour. He was taken to a house, in which stood a naked girl with a sign that said, "If you can catch me, you are allowed to fuck me!" " This guy immediately accepted the challenge and began to chase the girl, but every time he was about to catch the girl, he ran away from her. An hour later, he still didn't catch the girl, and the fitness instructor took him to weigh himself, just missing a pound. "That's good," the guy thought. "I can lose weight and be happy." This time, he chose a slightly more expensive weight loss program, which can lose two pounds in an hour. He was taken to a room where two naked girls stood, both holding signs that also said, "If you can catch me, you are allowed to fuck me!" " This guy was so excited that he chased the two girls desperately, but he didn't catch either of them in the end. An hour later, the coach weighed him again and just lost two pounds. At this time, this guy was angered. He told the manager that he would choose the most expensive weight-loss plan. The manager assured him that he would lose ten pounds in an hour, but added that this plan was very dangerous. This guy thought, isn't it just a few more girls? The more you have, the more chances you have, at least you can catch one. He urged the manager to send him to the most expensive room quickly, although the manager kept telling him about the danger. So, the man was taken to a house a little farther away. After they let him in, they locked the door outside. The room was dimly lit. Waiting for him was a chimpanzee, who was holding a sign that said, "If I catch you, I will fuck you."

11: A naked girl ran into a taxi, and the driver scolded her all over. "The driver said," I just want to see where your money comes from.

12: Every time Lao Shi and Lao Lin meet, they always tease each other. One day, Lao Lin suddenly touched Lao Shi's bald head and said, "You bald head really feels like my wife's ass." Lao Shi smiled and touched his bald head, and then said with sympathy: "Well! Indeed &

13: Maid A: "Poor me, I have to keep saying" Yes, madam; Yes, madam "

maid b: "I'm even worse. I have to keep saying" no, sir; No, sir "

14: Spaniards like beef balls.

Every time after the bullfight,

they cut off the testicles of the cows that fight for worship and eat them.

One day,

a Spaniard went to a restaurant to order beef balls.

The waiter in the restaurant said,

You pay the deposit, and

I will give it to you tomorrow.

The next day,

this man came to get the cow pill.

It turned out that the "pill" was very small.

He asked why.

The waiter replied, "Sir, it's not always the bullfighter who lost ~ today it's the matador who lost ~"

15: There was a driver who kept a parrot because he was always on the move.

It was late at night, and I was very bored. Suddenly, my eyes lit up.

A beautiful woman waved for a ride, and she was overjoyed, so she took it

and looked at it. She was very happy and had evil thoughts.

Think about the wild, how dare a beautiful woman disobey and speak boldly: "Beauty, can I kiss you?"

The woman is very strong and says "No". The driver asked again, "Can you touch it?" The woman also said, "No."

When the driver got angry, he said, "No, go down."

So he drove the beautiful woman down. Move on, and soon, my conscience and lust are still there, and I regret it.

Turn around and invite beautiful women to answer.

the driver secretly rejoiced and said, I can do anything with my kindness!

Soon after the trip, my heart itched, and I stopped to ask the beauty, "Beauty, can I kiss you?"

The woman refused, saying, "No" and asked, "Can I touch it?" The woman replied, "No"

The driver was very angry and said, "No, go down" and drove it down again and again.

This was repeated. There is no chance.

I asked the beauty again, "Beauty, can I kiss you?" The woman still said, "No"

"Can I touch it?" The woman still said, "No, go down" and drove it away.

at the end, oh, my god, all the chickens in the car are gone.

While wondering, I suddenly saw the parrot grabbing the last hen and asked, "Beauty, can I kiss you?"

The hen shook her head. The parrot added, "Can you touch it?" The hen also shook her head

The parrot replied, "No, go down" and threw the hen out of the car.

The driver had no choice but to drive the parrot down.

16: One day a lady came on the bus with a bottle of fresh milk in her hand. When the bus arrived at a big station, there were more and more people, and it was so crowded that it was difficult to breathe ... Soon the fresh milk taken by the young lady was squeezed by the crowd and covered with her stockings. The young lady said with great anger: hate! ! Don't squeeze! You've squeezed out all her milk.

17; One day, the "Goddess Girl" by the Aihe River in Kaohsiung came to the city council to ask for a

official professional name ...

Councillor: What title are you going to use? Isn't the goddess good?

* female:: It's not bad ... We want a more formal name...

Congressman:: Do you want to use it?

* Female:: We need a new name-> > * The reporter ..

At this time, the reporters who were originally at the side flew into a rage ...

Reporter: How can I strangle ... This is not confusing

At this time, * the women shouted ...

How can I not strangle? You journalists are "service industry" .. so are we ..

You are "welcome to contribute" ... we are also welcome to "engage"! !

18: A young girl and a handsome young man are dating in the park. Suddenly, I was a little embarrassed. The girl asked, "What's the matter with you?"

Xiaosheng said shyly, "I want convenience." The girl didn't understand, but I saw the niche walking to the public toilet, only to know that "convenience" means going to the toilet.

After a while, the girl asked Xiaosheng, "When will you come to my place to play?"

niche replied, "I want to go at your convenience." ......

19: There was an old man who stayed at an old friend's house because his daughter-in-law was in labor.

why does the friend ask?

answer: forget it! My daughter-in-law squeezed me out when she gave birth.

2: Professor Huang flew into a rage in a class in a girls' school: "I was half dead from being up there, but you didn't move down there. I have paid so much before and after, have you absorbed anything? Female student ..............

21: When a couple wants to * * *, they always use "washing clothes" as a code word. One day, after bickering and quarreling, because the wife was angry and the husband needed money, it was not convenient for him to make love to her, so he had to ask his son to send a message on his behalf: (Mom, dad said his clothes were dirty and needed washing. Mom was very angry and said, (Tell your father that the washing machine is broken and won't be washed today. A few days later, it was the wife's turn, so she asked her son to send a message on her behalf: (Go and tell your father that the washing machine is repaired and you can wash clothes. The son immediately said: (mom, dad told me that it's not necessary. He has washed it by hand. )

22: On a humid afternoon, in the quiet library, Adek spent the whole morning reading books, and felt a little tired. He couldn't help stretching, and accidentally bumped into the girl in the next seat. The girl was shocked! Knocked over the drink on the table and wet the clothes a lot. Ade was very embarrassed and immediately apologized to the girl: "Miss! I'm sorry! I scared you! I'll take care of it. The girl turned her head and said seriously to Ade, "Classmate! Have some common sense! You just touched me. I can't be fertilized, but you've made me wet. You'd better wipe me with toilet paper quickly!

23: An alcoholic went to the street to buy wine. Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of a notice posted in a hotel on the corner: "As long as you complete three difficult problems, you can drink wine for free for one year"! ! The drunkard saw that it was now or never, so he went in to ask the bartender and had a few drinks first. The bartender said, "Are you going to challenge three difficult problems?" The drunk said, "All right." "First of all, you must drink this cup of tequila filled with pepper in one gulp." "Second, there is a hippo in our backyard that has had a toothache for a long time. You must pull out its tooth." "Third. See the apartment opposite? There's a woman who hasn't been satisfied for a long time. You have to satisfy her. " As soon as the drunkard heard it, he was eager to try, so he drank the cup of tequila in one breath. Suddenly, he felt that the whole person was going to burn, and he rushed to the backyard with all his might. The screams of hippos immediately came from the backyard. After a while, the drunkard rushed out and asked the bartender loudly, "Come on! Where do you think the woman with toothache is? "

24: A foreigner came to Taiwan Province to learn Chinese directly. But he never understood the difference between "iron" and "steel". One day he came home late. As a result, the door downstairs could not be opened. He had to shout loudly upstairs ""landlady, your steel door can't be opened ""...

25: Old Huang was sent back to his hometown when he was unlucky. On March 8 th, the county magistrate was going to give a speech at a women's meeting in a certain district. Knowing that Lao Huang could write, he forced him to write a speech. Old Huang was so annoyed with this bastard that he wrote an article, and the county magistrate read it word for word: "… I am a woman, and I am very experienced." Recently, I touched under you and got first-hand information. I'm a lout. You women's director know best how rough I am. I talked to her all night last night. At first, she didn't know my length, and I didn't know her depth. I just couldn't get together by hiding. After many confrontations, the situation was finally put on the table. Now that the disguise has been stripped off, it's easy to do it below. We aim at the focus, put on a correct posture, make great efforts, explain things in simple terms and persevere until the long-standing backlog is completely solved. It's really a relief. It's so exciting. Finally, she was happy, and I was satisfied. How wonderful! ..... All women comrades stand up "The lesbians present stood up for fear of the county magistrate's arrogance and waited for instructions. The county magistrate licked his finger, turned over a page and then read: "Yes!" "

26: There is a sign on the lawn in front of a church with a big book on it: "If you are tired of sin, please come in." There is another line written in red lipstick below: "If you are not tired, please call XXX in Amanza District."

27: After the death of the doctor, the daughter and the thief, they all came to see the king of hell. The king of Yan asked them what they did for a living before their death. The doctor said, "Little people practice medicine. If others are sick, I can cure them and bring them back to life." The king of Yan was furious and said, "Every time I send a ghost pawn to hook up a sinner, you always compete with me to make trouble and send you to the frying pan to suffer!" "

The second one asked * female, and * female said, "I take guests who have no wives." Yan Wang said:' You are convenient for single people, and you can prolong your life for twelve years. "Ask the thief again, and the thief said," I