A hilarious joke &; Brain Twister

1. A woman got on the bus with her children.

The driver said, "Oh, this is the ugliest doll I have ever seen."

The angry woman went to the back of the carriage, sat down and said to the man next to her, "The driver insulted me!" " "

The man said, "Go and settle accounts with him. You go, I'll hold your monkey. "

2. A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman hitchhiked, the driver put the parrot and the hen together in the cargo box and invited the beautiful woman to sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, "May I kiss you?" The beauty shook her head shyly and said, "No". After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, "Can you hug me?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No."The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. But after a while, the driver asked, "May I kiss you?" Beauty still shook her head. "Can I have a hug?" Beauty still shook her head. "If you can't, go down." This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, "Can a beautiful woman kiss me?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, "Can you hug me?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car. ......

The prisoner was shot, but the first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullets, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. .....

4. A pupil confessed to his teacher who had a crush on him for a long time. The teacher said it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it anymore and said, I don't want children. The pupil said: I will be careful! "。

There is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He was going to play with polar bears, so he went out, but on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " "

Guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? ..... "Let's go to your house to play ~"

6. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

7. A child cried, and his father said, don't cry. After a while, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.

8. Jiao went to see a doctor. The doctor said you were too ill to share a room. Jiao A: My house is too small to share. The doctor said: I mean you can't * * *. Jiao is puzzled. He asked: My ancestors were all surnamed Jiao for eight generations. Why can't I be surnamed Jiao?

9. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; An egg is a man, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes an illegitimate child; There is an egg. ......

10. When the millionaire drove past a village in a luxurious extended Lincoln, he saw two beggars pulling grass by the roadside and stopped immediately.

"Why do you eat grass?"

"We really have no money ..." A beggar replied.

"Really, get in the car and go to my house."

"I have a wife and two children at home ..." A beggar complained.

"Call 1, and the rich man points to another beggar." And you, call your family. "

"My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said.

"It doesn't matter, all called, let's go.

In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us to our home."

The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected.". The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high and you can eat enough. "

Game: mouse ball (quite fun)

Brainstorm:/

Hehe, I often go to see a joke net, and I feel that the brain teasers inside are quite funny. You can also go in and have a look.

What will Kirin become when it reaches the North Pole?

Answer: Ice Kirin.

(ice cream)

Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Because "Speak of the devil and he will come."

1 ~ 9, which is the laziest and the most diligent?

1 laziest, 2 most diligent.

Do one thing and never stop.

White plus white =?

little white rabbit

(2)

What line do orangutans like least?

Parallel lines do not intersect.

(banana)

What flower is the weakest?

Molly. This is a beautiful jasmine flower.

(powerless)

Why is the mouse in the cartoon Tom and Jerry better than the cat?

A: This mouse must have eaten spinach. (Popeye blood splashes five steps ...)

Because this cartoon was written by a mouse. (Cat blood splashes five steps ...)

What animal did you kill but left your blood? Answer: mosquitoes

Why do healthy couples give birth to offspring without eyes?

Rooster couples can lay eggs, hehe.

The hotter the weather, what climbs higher?

thermometer

Xiao Wang is a good soldier. One day when he was on duty, he clearly saw an enemy touching him quietly. Why did he turn a blind eye?

Answer: He is aiming.

Under what circumstances do people tear their hair?

Answer: Cremation

What is the fastest way to turn ice into water?

Remove two points of ice.

Zhao Benshan's NBA brain teasers.

Zhao Benshan "It's getting late, there are many people, and you are not young. This IQ is to be tested! "

Gao Xiumin: "There are not many swindlers during the Spring Festival. Last year, I sold a car this year. This kind of life in America is quite good. I toss these idiots! "

Zhao Benshan "No.1 Iverson, please listen to the question. Say you have an illegitimate child who just turned 6 this year. He has never seen you before. Now you take a large group of people to see him, and he suddenly jumps into your arms and calls you dad. What is this? "

Iverson was shocked and thought that all China knew I had an illegitimate child? "Because he has seen my photos!"

Zhao Benshan "wrong! Because you brought a group of women, you are a man! "

"Duncan, please listen to Gao Xiumin's question. John is the son of the referee, but he never calls him the father of the referee. Why? "

Duncan "because John is also an illegitimate child, he can't name it."

Zhao Benshan "wrong! Please ask the guest Rodman to answer the correct answer! "

Rodman replied, "His name is the referee's mother. That referee is a woman. One year, she called me a technical foul and I touched her ass ... "(Si Kang quickly said to the photographer," Don't broadcast this paragraph! " )

Zhao Benshan "No.3 Kobe, please listen to the question. It is said that the Wizards played against the Lakers, Jordan dribbled, you defended the third road, and O 'Neill defended the third road, but Jordan passed! How did he get there? "

Kobe smiled. "I think Jordan is old, old, how can I get along with him? Of course, he fainted! "

(Jordan grins on the big screen)

Gao Xiumin "correct answer plus ten points! No wonder you got married so early! "

Zhao Benshan "No.4 Malone, please look at the big screen. On the big screen is the King of the Warring States, and Malone beat Weber with blood all over his face with his elbow. ) Which hurts, hitting your head with your left elbow or hitting your head with your right elbow? "

Malone waved his right arm. "Of course my right elbow hurts!"

"Wrong!" The audience Weber replied: "It's a headache! I have a headache! "

Gao Xiumin: The number five is Kidd. He drives very fast. He said that one day when you were driving through a narrow lane, a car drove right in front of you and you were about to hit it. You both stopped at the same time. There is no moon in the sky at this time, and the lights and street lamps are broken. How did you see that? "

Kidd blinked. "Because in the daytime! There is the sun in the sky! "

Zhao Benshan "deserves to be a point guard. Just answer this question! Nice to meet you, my brother. Can you give me a little tip? You reported your ticket when you came! "

"O 'Neill six, please listen to Gao Xiumin's question. Zhao Benshan has three brothers. The first one is called a fool, the second one is called a fool, and the third one is called a fool. "

"Three fools!" O 'Neill grinned.

Zhao Benshan "wrong! The third name is Zhao Benshan! I am an old man! " Everyone laughed, but O 'Neill didn't understand and looked confused.

Zhao Benshan "King No.7". The villagers were all in tears when they saw the villagers. China has a high IQ, arachis duranensis. Please listen to the question. It is said that there are two astronauts, one is a heavy smoker and the other is an alcoholic. They will go to space for a one-year investigation. Smokers brought ten cartons of cigarettes and alcoholics brought ten cases of wine. A year later, the two men got off the spaceship. The drunk is slightly drunk and looks satisfied, while the smoker looks depressed. Why? "

Wang clapped his hands and said with a smile, "He forgot his lamp!"

At this time, O' Neill shouted: "I finally understand why the third child is called Zhao Benshan!" Scofield quickly pulled O 'Neill out. "Don't be a disgrace here. I won't bring you here in the future! " )

After the party, O 'Neill has been moping about the humiliation at the party. Back to the Lakers club, I happened to meet Fei Shuai. O 'Neill hurriedly took Fei Shuai's hand. "Fei Shuai, I'll give you a brain teaser. My father has three sons, the eldest is called a big fool, the second is called a second fool, and the third is called what? "

Fei Shuai "Your father's name is really strange, but it's right! If you think I am handsome and smart, you can't ask me this question! Presumably this third child is O 'Neill! "

"no!" O 'Neill shouted, "The third name is Zhao Benshan!"

The most boring thing in the world: of course, save mom! Don't ask this question? Where are you from without a mother? Without you, where can I get a wife? You have no wife. Where did you get your mother-in-law?