Lengthy cold jokes

Dragon cold joke daquan one:

1, don't laugh at the tortoise, people know gossip; Don't laugh at snails, people have houses and homes; Don't say that you run fast and slower than CPI; If I don't give you more dollars, you will find that the RMB is much less!

There are two kinds of people's living conditions: living brilliantly and living darkly!

If you often don't eat on time, you will soon have to take medicine on time.

If you always look up, you will grow taller. If you always keep your head down, you will stoop.

5. It's not good to watch too much cross talk. I spoke at the meeting and the manager praised my incisive speech. I immediately replied to him: you are a fart.

6. I met a low-key person on a business trip. His surname is Gou. I respectfully call him manager Gou. He said: You're welcome. Just call Xiao Gou.

7. At the launching ceremony of the TV series "Zhongjing Yuefei" starring Jackie Chan, Jackie Chan boasted that he was the most suitable to play Yuefei, and he could play at the age of 29 to 79. Onlookers can't help thinking of Jackie Chan, whose grandfather Yue lived in his thirties.

The direct consequence of winter is that I don't want to get up more and more in the morning.

9. In the evening, I watched a model performance on TV with my friends and suddenly said:? Gone, gone? Grandma outside the window shouted through the window, Why don't you rest when everyone is gone? What are you shouting when you are alone?

Dragon cold joke daquan 2:

1, a yacht hit the rocks and was about to sink. The captain asked the first mate to tell passengers of different nationalities to put on life jackets and prepare for diving. The first mate went, ran back in a panic and reported to the captain. Six passengers refused to jump even if they died. What shall we do? The captain himself went to communicate with them. A minute later, the captain came back and said to the first mate. All six people jumped! ? The first mate asked the captain, how did you do it? The captain said, it's very simple. I told the Germans that this was an order, and the Germans jumped. Tell the British that diving is good for health, and the British jump; Tell the French that diving is fashionable and the French jump; Tell the Russians that this is a revolution, and the Russians jump up; Tell the Italians it's forbidden, and the Italians jump.

The first mate asked again:? Then how did you convince that American? The captain said, I told him: I insured you for 10 million! ?

2. A Russian scientific research ship floated on the ocean for several months, and the crew began to drink secretly. The captain called a meeting and decided to give up drinking: for the sake of serious discipline, I ordered all the wine to be thrown into the sea! ?

When a sailor shouted in the back row, the cabin became as quiet as a graveyard. The captain is right! It's time to throw all the wine into the sea! ?

The crew is angry:? There is no place for you divers to talk here! ?

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