Who can teach me some cold jokes?

There is an onion running and crying in the street. There is a banana couple walking on the road. Banana husband was so hot that he took off his clothes and fell down. An ant is passing through the desert. Why didn't he leave footprints? Because the ant is riding a bike, the ant's parents are back, and they know that their son is back before they enter the house. How do they know? Because the ant's bicycle stopped at the downstairs of tomato A and tomato B to buy things, suddenly a truck rushed out and ran over tomato A. Tomato B pointed at tomato A and smiled: "ketchup!" " Once upon a time, there was a swordsman whose heart was cold, his sword was cold, and his hands were cold, so he froze to death ... 3 A sausage was put in the refrigerator and felt very cold. Then he looked at the other one next to him and felt a little comforted. He said, "Look, you're frozen like this. You're covered in ice!" As a result, Root said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle." 4 Two bananas were walking on the road, and the banana in front felt very hot, so he took off his pajamas and the banana in the back fell ... 5 The teacher played a Beethoven song, and Xiao Ming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know what the teacher played?" Xiaohua replied, "Piano." One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet. One day, when I was walking, my feet felt sore. I looked down-I stepped on a lemon. A man caught a squid and the squid said, "Let me go!" " "The man said," I'll test you a few questions. If you get it right, I'll let you go. "Squid said happily," take the exam! ""So the man roasted the squid ... 10 A: "What is that man doing?" B: "He's shaking." A: "Why is he shaking?" B: "He's cold." A: "Oh, shivering won't be cold." B: There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, when he was crossing the street, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Gung!" " Since then, it has become a cucumber ... 12 The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution. The classmate replied, "Make the lunch box blue." 13 Walking along the road, I suddenly found something on the ground. As soon as he bowed his head ... it was broken! 14 One day, A picked up a mirror and looked at it and said, "The people here are familiar." B said, "Really? Let me see. Oh, my God! I don't even know you? " 15 One day, mung beans jumped from the fifth floor and killed themselves. They shed a lot of blood and turned into red beans. It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans. 16 one day, a gentleman went to a very stingy restaurant to eat and found that the plates on the table were wet. He shouted, "waiter, this plate is wet!" " The waiter replied, "Here is your soup, sir." 17 Xiao Ming asked, "Which cartoon character is always in the dark? Xiaoli shook her head, and Xiaoming replied, "This is the dream of a robot cat, because it can't see its fingers." . 18 Mom asked Xiao Ming, "Have you finished reading the book? There will be an exam tomorrow. "Xiao Ming replied," Mom, I finished reading it. " Mother praised, "then you must do well in the exam tomorrow." "Xiaoming cried," I mean,' Mom, I think it's over.' "19 friends are guests, get up and leave." Let's go after dinner! ""no, I have something to do. " "What's the hurry? You don't even eat?" "Let's eat! "Tomato A and Tomato B go shopping. B asked, "Where are we going?" A didn't answer. B asked again, "Where are we going? "A turned to B and said," We are tomatoes. How can we talk? "2 1 Put the notebook on the table first, and then put your head on the notebook. Well, this is my gift to you-a notebook to buffer your brain. The bear quarreled with the ghost. The bear said, "Look, you look like a ghost." The ghost said, "Talk about others. Look at your bear. Coke and Sprite are having a barbecue. Sprite wanted Coke to take down the salt bottle and called him, "Coke! Coke! ! Coke! ! ！” Coke said impatiently, "drink it yourself, don't play with me!" "Xiaoli asked Xiaoming," Which hand do you use to stir the coffee? " Xiao Ming replied: "Right hand." Xiaoli said, "You are really something. You are not afraid of scalding. I use a spoon. " Once upon a time, there was a horse. It ran into the sea. So, it becomes a "hippocampus"! Another friend of this horse fell into the river in order to find the horse that fell into the sea. Later it became a "hippo"! The third horse is a white one. In order to find two missing friends, it came to a city with chaotic traffic. I was run over by several cars in a row, resulting in several black stripes on the car body. Turns out to be a zebra. One day, a beef tendon pill was walking on the road and suddenly shouted, "Oh, I have a cramp!" " "Bad news: A man fell off the plane. Good news: He brought a parachute. Bad news: the parachute is broken. Good news: There is a haystack below. Bad news: There is a dung fork on the haystack. Good news: he didn't fall on the dung fork. Bad news: He didn't fall on the haystack either. 28. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair. One ... two ... three ... Finally, he pulled out one, and suddenly he shouted, "It's so cold! ! Autumn without a trace 2008-111122: 36 "Tenth Five-Year Plan" joke1. The cat was forced by life and sat in the cordate telosma hair salon opened by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to ask for the night, and the cat vowed to die. The mouse was furious and said, I chased Lao Zi to death, and now I'm a prude. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! 3. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down. 4, a person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now! 5. When someone was riding a bike, I heard a passerby shout: Go, Go, Go … I thought, Damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole…… I plunged into the ditch and didn't fall. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? ! You deserve to fall to death! 6, carp and tortoise to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married. 7. A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit! "8. A couple are fishing by the river. The lady always quarreled, and after a while the fish took the bait. The lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up. 9. The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "that's because it's calm and naturally cold." "10, spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider roared, "Why? What is all this about? "The ant said timidly," My mother said that people who stay online all day are not good people! ""1 1. Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He worked part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You kill pigs. Where are you going to push me? 12, the male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who? The boy next door replied in a deep and powerful voice, "Lei Feng. 13. When a person wants to throw up for the first time on the plane, the stewardess takes an empty bag, and when it is almost full, she goes to get it and tells him not to throw up. When I came back, I saw it everywhere. I asked why, and replied, "I'm almost full, and I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited ..." 14, a woman is 8 years old, and you have to make up stories to put her to sleep. 18 You have to make up a story to trick her into sleeping with you. 28 years old, she will sleep with you, no story. 38 years old, she will make up stories to lie to you and her. 15. After seeing the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. He saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, so he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! I turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap. I was shocked: danger! I was overjoyed to see you again suddenly: yo-ho, and honey trap? !