Wife gets off work, humorous jokes, jokes

A woman had an accident, and her boyfriend gave her a lot of blood to save him!

But not long after, this ungrateful woman broke up with her boyfriend!

Boyfriend shouted angrily: "Want to break up? Then give me my blood first! ! "

The woman threw the sanitary towel in the boy's face and scolded, "Come on! I will pay you back in installments every month! "

33.

A man rushed to take a taxi to see a female netizen!

When it was almost time, the man saw from the car that the female netizen in the distance was ugly!

The man pointed to the ugly female netizen and said to the driver, "See that woman?"

The driver said, "Look, where are you parked?"

The man replied, "No, kill her! ! ! "

34.

The boss and the female manager have dinner together!

During the dinner, the boss sighed: "Bosses have generally been managers!"

Sorry, the female manager quickly said shrewdly, "Yes, bosses are usually born (promoted) managers!"

35.

Many people in the drugstore are waiting in line to buy Viagra, and an old man is in front of a young man!

The young man was impatient and sarcastically said to the old man, "What's the use of buying Ge Wei at such a big age?"

Hearing this, the old man said calmly, "Young man, you are still young, so you use Viagra. What's your use? " ? ! "

36.

There is a little babysitter with a particularly loud voice!

The host told him, "All the guests are here tonight. Please keep your voice down! "

After dinner, the host plays cards with the guests, and the little babysitter wants to go to bed early after cleaning up.

So the little babysitter leaned close to the man's ear and whispered, "Then I'll sleep first."

37.

The mother looked at her ignorant son and said earnestly, "Do you know what childishness is?"

The son replied with a bad smile: "Naivety is to draw a penis on paper!" " "

Mother was furious and asked, "How mature is the penis?" ! "

The son replied, "Maturity means adding a lock of hair after painting!" " "

38.

A beautiful woman ran to the gym at 5 o'clock in the morning, and it was still dark and quiet everywhere!

Suddenly, an evil man came up and asked with bedroom eyes, "Beauty, what do you want?"

Afraid of being robbed of money, the beauty replied, "Go and borrow money ..."

The wicked man was furious and said, "Why do you want to borrow money?"

Afraid of being robbed, the beauty replied, "I have no money to treat sexually transmitted diseases ..."

Hearing this, the villain had to be disappointed!

39.

A big boss, a male secretary and a female secretary.

Usually, almost all the work is done by male secretaries, while female secretaries do nothing.

After a long time, the male secretary complained to the boss, "Why do I have to do all the work?" ? ! "

The boss explained, "Your division of labor is different."

The male secretary is puzzled: "What's the difference?"

The boss said, "You are office supplies."

The male secretary asked, "What about her?"

The boss said impatiently, "bedclothes! ! "

40.

In the office, a beautiful woman asked her male colleague to tell her a short and meaningful yellow joke!

The male colleague pondered for a moment and said the classic eight words: "I weed, you noon!" " "

4 1.

The woman asked her boyfriend inexplicably, "Why do men have many girlfriends to envy and women have many boyfriends to despise?" ? ! "

Boyfriend sighed and said, "it's like a key that can open many locks, and it's also called a master key!" " And a lock can be opened by many keys, which means there is something wrong with this lock. "

42.

A man went to the hospital to help his wife with a medical certificate.

The little nurse said to the man, "there is a list with the same name as your wife, and neither of them has good news." One is brain damage and the other is AIDS! " "

Hearing this, the man was shocked and at a loss for a moment!

The nurse quickly comforted: "The doctor has a good idea to take your wife on a trip and leave her halfway. If she can go home, don't share the bed with her! " "

.

A cornfield planted by a peasant woman is thriving!

Unexpectedly, A's bull and B's cow were in heat, scurrying about in the corn field and ruining the corn.

The peasant woman failed to negotiate compensation, so she went to court to sue both parties. ..

The judge sentenced Party A and Party B to accompany each other half, but the cow owner A refused to accept it and said, "I will accompany one third at most."

The judge asked, "Why?"

A said, "The second cow stepped on corn with four feet, and my bull only stepped on two feet." If you look carefully, you will know where the joke is. )

44.

A lady said to her female colleague in dismay, "I must try to avoid pregnancy now!" " "

The female colleague asked strangely, "Aren't you pregnant just after ligation?"

The woman replied painfully: "Bitter! ! That's why I must be very careful! " If you look carefully, you will know where the joke is. )

45.

Little boy: "I want to buy that sanitary towel."