The origin of graceful jokes

Our brain is that our calf is dead, and the two fools are secretly excited: "We are short of money these two days. Isn't it a sum of money to peel this skin and sell this meat? " He borrowed an ox-killing knife, peeled it in the cowshed for a while, and the knife became unhappy. He looked for a millstone everywhere and finally found it under the table upstairs. He went upstairs to grind the knife under the table, and then went downstairs to peel it off. I went upstairs and downstairs to sharpen the knife several times, which made him impatient. He tied the calf with a rope and dragged it upstairs. After some efforts, he finally dragged it upstairs. He wiped the sweat from his head and said with a smile, "Now you don't have to run up and down to sharpen your knife. This method has been exhausted, and this brain is spiritual. "

Mountain people sit in sedan chairs.

The mountains are high and steep, and the roads are narrow. Daughters are married by riding donkeys. A girl found a flat object. On the wedding day of Zhangjiagang Negative Pressure Fan, her husband's family brought a sedan chair. Four sedan chairs are a group of naughty boys. They want to play a joke on the girl in the mountain and take out the ass of the sedan chair. After the girl got into the sedan chair, she had to follow her in. The sedan chair went faster and faster, and then she ran away. The girl ran straight in the sedan chair, panting and sweating. Returning to the door the next day, her companion asked her, "What's it like to sit in a sedan chair?" "Like a student's exercise, go first and then run. Keep up with the pace, or you will break your heel. "

You use everything you need.

A countryman took his father to the city to take pictures. I paid the money, opened the ticket, and just sat there waiting in line for the photo. In front of him is a crying child. The photographer held up a string of bells in the light, shook them tinklingly and clapped them. Next to his father's photo, the master seated him, dragged his clothes on display, put on his hat, turned on the headlights, grabbed the ball and said, "Attention, I'm going to take a photo." "Hey, hey, wait!" He hurried to the photographer, stopped him and said, "why don't you ring the bell for my father?" Don't bully us country people who know how to take pictures. Use whatever you want, and we will never give you less money! "

You install a blower for us.

The remote village has just turned on the electricity. After falling asleep, Erwa tried to nurse in bed without blowing out the light. He got out of bed and blew into the light bulb, but it didn't go out. The next day, he ran ten miles and found an agricultural power station. He said angrily, "You put my light wrong. I couldn't blow it out last night. " The electrician smiled and said, "The electric light is not an oil lamp. How can it be blown out?" ? When you pull the switch rope, the light goes out. Erwa shook her head and said, "No! For generations, lights have been blown out by mouth. I don't want to play, you give me another blow. "

Which sewing bag?

Mao can pack food with his wife. Take out the sack I just bought yesterday. Hey! Why does this sack have no mouth? He asked his wife to get scissors and cut them. Unexpectedly, when the grain was put into the sack, it leaked out from the bottom. The wife mumbled, "which idiot sewed this sack?" It has no mouth and no bottom. "

Gui Long sells walnuts.

Gui Long went to Fancun to sell walnuts. Next to him is a jujube seller. The voice of selling dates was very clear. He shouted, "Hey, hey-buy dates to buy dates. Excellent jujube: jujube has small ventilation equipment in Wuxi, and jujube is not small! " For a while. Ten cents of dates were snapped up. Gui Long, a look, very inspired. He also stretched his voice and shouted: "Hey-walnut seller. The big walnut is small, and the small walnut has no kernel! " Although I cried myself hoarse, I couldn't find a buyer anyway.

There is no way to make money like us.

A photographer came to the village. The dog hasn't photographed it, and it tickles. Zhikun said, "Dog leftovers, take a picture. Taking a bust is the most economical. " "How to take a bust?" Zhikun said: "If you shoot a bust, you have to lie on the ground. When you stand up, your whole body will be illuminated. " So the dog called the photographer home and said, "Take a bust for me." Say that finish, goo slightly prone on the ground. The photographer was surprised and said, "Stand up and take a picture." The dog is lying on the ground, and its life and death are unknown. He cursed and said, "Hum, do you want to make money from all of us?" No way! "

Sell onions

The three companies pulled a cart of onions for the shopkeeper and went to the market to sell them. The shopkeeper is a little uneasy. As the money was collected by the scale, his asking price was too high, and all the people who bought onions shook their heads and left. Seeing that it was getting late, the three shops were hungry and thirsty, and they wanted to sell them all at a lower price, but the shopkeeper refused to reduce the price. Just then, a vegetable vendor came from Sansuo Village. He looked at the onion and asked about the ventilation and cooling equipment in Wuxi. "How much is this onion?" . The shopkeeper said, "A car is ten cents a catty!" Sansuo was about to answer when the vegetable vendor glanced at him and said to the shopkeeper, "Boss, I separated the onion stalks from the onion leaves. Tell you what, I'm going to put all the onion stems at 70 cents per catty and onion leaves at 30 cents per catty. What do you think? " The shopkeeper thought: seven points plus three points is still a dime, and the price has not changed. He said, "Well, I'll sell it all to you at your price. Ten thousand people gather to talk and can't break their words. " The vegetable vendor said excitedly, "It's a deal. Weigh it right away. " Sansuo smiled and blinked at the vegetable vendor and hurriedly borrowed a kitchen knife. After a while, a car full of onion stems and leaves were separated. As soon as the scale passed, the account was calculated and the money was handed in, the shopkeeper and Sansuo sat in the car and hummed and came back happily. After sorting out the cash after dinner, the shopkeeper found that he only received half of the money. He stayed up all night with a headache and fever, and still couldn't figure out where to pay for it.

Selling baby pigs

Phoebe sells pigs in the collection, and there is a young man standing next to her, who has been saying bad names of pigs and ruining business. Phoebe hates him very much. After a while, there were fewer people bargaining, and the young man came over and said, "Say a serious price, I want this baby pig." Phoebe said, "Here's ten dollars and eight cents." The young man asked, "Is ten dollars enough? Why is it still eight points? " "You haven't seen a play?" Phoebe said seriously, "Wang Xiaoer spent 1208 yuan to buy a godfather."