/kloc-the funniest joke in 0/00 words. please

A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, eat cucumber and pull watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

The blind man stuttered when riding a bike, stuttering to see the road, and suddenly saw a deep ditch, stuttering and exclaiming: ditch! ! ! The blind man sang back, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" " "So they fell into the ditch.

A swimming coach is shopping in the mall. A beautiful lady greeted him. He looked intently and found that it was one of his students. He then said loudly, "You really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes!"

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, just arrived!

It is said that on a dark night, on the longest and scariest road, a taxi driver drove there and a woman waved to get on the bus by the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "Apples are delicious for you …" The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I remember I liked apples before my death ..." Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... When the driver heard this, he was scared into an ambulance, and his face turned white ... Only the woman slowly tilted her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ……"

Yesterday, I dreamed of God, who said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I want this person to look good. He pondered and said, take the globe and let me have a look.

Do you remember when we ate roast duck together? You like eating duck's ass. As soon as the food was served, you grabbed it like an arrow and stuffed it in your mouth. I whispered: why can't I see the duck's ass? You proudly pointed to your mouth and said, this is your ass!

Piggy set up a club and said, members should call me piggy's nickname! Dog: Call me puppy! Kitten: Call me kitten! The chicken blushed and said calmly, it's really boring. Go first!

College entrance examination chemistry questions: A and B can be transformed into each other, B can generate C in boiling water, C can be oxidized into D in air, and D has.

The smell of rotten eggs. What is ABCD?

My answer: A is a chicken, B is a raw egg, C is a cooked egg, and D is of course a rotten egg! (this group of XX! )

Beijingers, French and Americans are walking in the desert together. They are dying of thirst. Suddenly, three people found a magic lamp and pulled out a magic lamp. He said, "I can grant each of you three wishes." The Americans said first, "I want a box of dollars", "There are two more", "Well, another box of dollars", "The last one" and "Well, the last one is to send me back to America". Whew, the Americans disappeared and the French were anxious. I want a beautiful woman, well, I want another beautiful woman, another one, give me a bottle of Erguotou, make two more wishes, another bottle of Erguotou and another one. Beijingers saw that it was boring for a person to drink two bottles of wine, so they said, "bring them back and drink with me." Hoo, the Americans and the French are back.

So the three of them walked on, but fortunately they found the magic lamp and pulled out a magic lamp. "Ha ha, I am the younger brother of the magic lamp just now, and the magic is not that high. I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you. " The French and Americans thought about it this time, but it was useless to say anything. If they let him get it back, they will die. Let him speak first, so they pushed Beijing to the front. Beijingers say, "First." Beijing touched his head with wine and thought for a while, but didn't speak for a long time. The French and Americans were anxious and urged him to say, "Speak quickly." So the Beijinger suddenly said, "Well, I have nothing else to do. Go home." Whew, the ghost went back.

Rookie: Please be my master!

Prawn: You're welcome. Just discussing ~ ~ ~

Rookie: I have a puzzle.

Prawn: Go ahead.

Rookie: I'm a vegetable. Get off my back!

Prawn: I swear to God, absolutely not.

Novice: oicq means "I love Chongqing"?

Prawn: ... can I take back my oath just now? ! (In the spittle ...)

Rookie: I like a MM. She asked me if I had a Yi Meier, but I said no. Why are you laughing at me, old-fashioned?

Prawn: You should apply for a …

Rookie: weak water is 3 thousand, just take one spoon! I will never apply for another mm again!

Prawn: I feel dizzy. ...

Novice: I heard that there are two ways to start a computer, cold start and hot start.

Prawn: Yes, that's right.

Rookie: Cold start means pressing the power switch directly, but I can't do anything about warm start.

Prawn: Hot start means pressing alt+ctrl+del.

Rookie: I did, but there was no response.

Prawn: Did you press it at the same time? It is only useful to press these keys at the same time.

Rookie: It's a little hard to press … Meanwhile …

Prawn: Try it and you'll get used to it.

Rookie: I tried several times, but it still didn't work.

Prawn: Really? It's simple.

Rookie: Yes, A-L-T-C+C-T-R-L+D-E-L ... But first, how can I press the "L" key three times at the same time?

Prawn: ... dizzy ~ ~

Mongolian cavalry was so awesome that it took less than 200,000 soldiers to sweep across Eastern Europe and changed the world pattern. This is mainly because European knights can't adapt to the Mongolian fighting style. In terms of combat alone, Mongolian cavalry is no match for European heavy cavalry in terms of height, weight, strength and equipment. But in fact, the Mongols did not give the European cavalry a chance to fight alone. Mongols often use dog tactics against Europeans. Of course, there are times when the two sides fight. At this time, the power of heavy armor on European cavalry was displayed. Cann't die. But Mongolians are not vegetarians. Often drag the European cavalry down first. Because of the heavy armor, the European cavalry who fell to the ground could not get up at all. The Mongols stamped their feet desperately. Step on those Europeans.

Take this story to warn some people here not to think that no matter how thick they are, they will be trampled to death.