Do you have any jokes about Xie Yalong that should be funny?

1, Xie Yalong, Li Weifeng and Zheng Zhi went to visit the Bird's Nest by helicopter. Xie Yalong said, "If I leave a thousand dollars, I will be happy to find that person." Zheng Zhi said, "If I lose two tickets to 500 yuan, both of us will be very happy. Li Weifeng said, "If I drop a hundred dollars, ten people will be very happy. "At this time ... the driver muttered," Why not throw yourself down and make 65.438+03 billion people happy?

2. "Dragon King" Xie Yalong wants to improve his reputation and issue a stamp with his portrait on it ... After more than a month, Xie Yalong wants to see its sales ... Xie Yalong: "How is the sales?" Postmaster: "Not bad, but people often complain that it is not posted well!" " Xie Yalong: "How?" "Xie Yalong picked up a stamp, put a little saliva on the back of the stamp, and tried to stick it on the envelope ... Xie Yalong:" Isn't it tight? Postman: "but ... everyone ... vomits in front ..."

Late at night, Xie Yalong is going to buy dinner for Jane. As a result, I met a robber on the road ... The robber pointed a gun at Xie Yalong and said, "Give me your money!" " Xie Yalong flew into a rage and said, "What's your attitude? I am the head coach! " Robber: "Oh, then … give me my money back."

4. One day, Xie Yalong and Li Weifeng ... attended a meeting with others. As a result, a series of car accidents happened and they were sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. The reporters got wind and rushed to the hospital ... After a while, the doctor came out and the reporter asked, "Doctor! Doctor! Can the "Dragon King" be saved? " The doctor shook his head in dismay and said, "Alas, it's hopeless ..." The reporter asked again, "Doctor! Doctor! Is team leader Li still saved? " The doctor shook his head in dismay and said, "Alas ... it's hopeless ..." The reporter asked, "So ... who can be saved?" The doctor said, "China football is saved!"

One day, Li Weifeng visited a mental hospital. All the patients stood in the corridor and cheered loudly. Long live Li Weifeng! Long live Li Weifeng! Only one patient turned a blind eye to Li Weifeng with a straight face. Li Weifeng saw it and asked the dean, "Why didn't the patient cheer for me?" Dean: "Because he is normal today."

6. A campaign car took Xie Yalong's campaign team to the countryside to build momentum. Unfortunately, it overturned on the mountain road. The old farmer who was working in the farmland saw this scene and rushed to the scene of the accident, but everyone in the car died, so he dug a hole and buried several politicians. A few days later, the police in charge of accident investigation found the old farmer and asked him where the politicians had gone. The old farmer said they had been buried, and the police quickly asked, "Are they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, when I buried Xie Yalong, I saw him shouting that he was not dead." The policeman said, "Then why did you bury him?" The old farmer said, "You know this Xie Yalong never tells the truth.

psoas

Reporter: I heard that you opened a room?

A player: Keep your voice down, and don't let the organization hear you!

Reporter: I heard that you opened a room to practice your waist muscles.

A player: Yes, I'm embarrassed to be proud of it!

Reporter: So, can you tell me what it's like to open a room and practice waist muscles?

A player: after practicing waist muscles, pick up girls.

Reporter: I'm hungry!

Third,

Xie Yalong: Next, let's warmly welcome a team member to do an important check-in for us! Everybody clap your hands!

A player: Once there was a room in front of me, and I really wanted to cherish it. I only regretted it once. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me another chance, I will cherish it. If I have to add it again, I want to say: 10 thousand times, 10 thousand years is too long, seize the day.

Xie Yalong: What a good player! Next, I'd like to announce the collective topic of China Olympic team tonight.

(Xie Yalong's psoas)