Degang Guo's stand-up comedy lines

I like to pinch my head with flowers, and I like to vomit a few times.

Happy birds fall under the eaves, and the happy news is that three yuan is the best.

The customs of this place are very interesting. As the saying goes, it doesn't rain on the boundary river, and it's not ventilated for ten miles. Through our research, it is found that people in different places have different understandings of things, and people in different places have different ways to deal with the same thing. Take a simple example, "Zhang Yao". As you may know, we are not very rich this time. What shall we buy tomorrow? The plane is very cheap these two days. What if I have no money at hand? Looking for land to borrow, "do you have money? If I can borrow some money, I will buy a plane. "

Voice-over: "No"

It's not easy to borrow money when you are scared like this. Sometimes I borrow money. After borrowing money, it was fine. But you can pay the bill back in a few days. When paying the bills, people all over the country behave differently. To give a simple example, Tianjin people depend on the sea. There is a good saying, there are nine little Tianjin, three pontoons and two customs. Tianjin people are warm and generous, and sometimes they are rude.

One day, one day, I promised to return it, but I didn't return it. After waiting for a few days, people are anxious. "What's this called?" What should I do if I owe money? I went to him, "Come out, come here, Spat! ! "Is anyone home? Come out one. It's more like you if you don't pay back your debts. I am not easy to mess with. You can say whatever you want, okay? Otherwise, see? A punch from above, a foot from below, a big flowerpot hit the head, spewing blood, eyes sewing, worse than Yang Naiwu, "slang said, outsiders couldn't help it, and quickly came out with that, eldest brother, I'm sorry, I really can't help it. I also know that I owe you money to pay back. This is not a problem. These two days, the child was ill and went to the hospital to see others pay a deposit of 5 thousand yuan. This time, I really can't get it out. My daughter-in-law has gone to her parents' house. I expect her parents to fill it out. Her mother is still ill and no one is watching. Her brother is out of town, and no one can. So, the people who wanted to pay the bill at that time changed. "What's the matter? You told me before. I didn't know your family was like this. You won't. Don't worry about the money. I still have 2000 yuan here. You can take the flowers first and come over the same day. "

Is this the bill? The display of local conditions and customs, as well as the demands of Shaanxi people, another style is also very interesting. Come here, bang! ! ! A dozen doors. Lord, come out and have a look. Just kidding. What happened? I don't owe much money, a ***20 yuan. "Hey, you're here. Sorry, I was so busy these two days that I forgot to send you money. It slipped my mind. I wrote you a note. Do I owe you 30 or 35? " I am very happy. "Ah, this money, don't worry, you spend it first, you spend it first, 30 yuan, don't worry, don't worry." Go back and get a pen for a change, 30 yuan.

After another month, I came again. "Should I pay back the money?" "There are many things these days, and there are a few members left, and life is hard. Should I give you less 40 yuan or 50 yuan? " When I went back, I was overjoyed. I jumped up and took a pen for 50 yuan. Imagine that after two years, we will meet again.

"This you should also the money,"

"Hey, I forgot, I forgot to send it to you. I forgot whether it was 3000 or 4000. "

"Don't pretend to play, just give me 20 yuan."