Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Kou Zhun: Seriously injured by the concubine.
Kou Zhun: Seriously injured by the concubine.
Kou Zhun was born in Jixia County, Zhong Ping City, Song Hua. Eight weeks of farming is a classic of performance art, and he is also a professional. First learn, then be an official. 19 years old, embarked on a career of rising step by step. Stepping into officialdom at an early age should be a teenager's success, right? It's a pity that my career is ups and downs, and I'm groping in vanity fair. It's not smooth sailing, and everything goes well? At the age of 33, Kou Zhun became deputy prime minister. Later, he visited each other three times. However, these three power peaks only lasted for a little over four years. Wearing black veil for 43 years, demoted seven times. It seems that it is really difficult to serve the people wholeheartedly!
Kou Zhun
Zhao Huan, Song Qinzong
The Biography of Kou Zhun, a history of Song Dynasty compiled in Yuan Dynasty, generously summed up two advantages of Kou Zhun's life: first, he dared to speak out and gave many good ideas to Zhao and Song Dynasties; Second, he was not afraid of death. He pushed Song Zhenzong across the Yellow River and won a great victory, and signed a famous alliance with the Khitan. After that, Song and Liao lived in peace for one hundred years. Li said: When Emperor Taizong built the Prince, he said that artifacts could not be compared with women, middle officials and near officials. These three words can be used as lessons for generations of turtles. Fortunately, the efforts of Tangyuan are overwhelming and the results are remarkable. In ancient times, the so-called ministers met in Sri Lanka.
This is history. Whether it is 37 or 46, future generations will always say good or bad when commenting on it. Kou Zhun is not always the right saint. He can stop deceiving his family, colleagues and historians because of his rudeness. I just praised it, and then I started peeling and cramping. These harsh praises and criticisms are exactly what ordinary people don't want to hear or even believe. To preserve our sanity, to be honest and upright, are gods invented by folk collectives. Once these spiritual idols are not perfect, the ideal balance will be unbalanced. Nevertheless, fascinating history has to tell the unpleasant truth. In just a few lines, Kou Zhun's three major defects were covered: he put on his clothes and left to remonstrate, showing the same disdain. Although there is a tendency to call a spade a spade, it is rarely insufficient. Once the policy is banned, it is inadvertently associated with it, leading to political evil plans and southern species. Schoenberg's actions are like this, but they are not over. I lost my virginity. I don't keep a secret. You don't believe me!
Just me, no one.
To be fair, Kou Zhun is talented. Even the emperor was impressed by his beliefs. It's a pity that Kou Zhun is a hothead. If his suggestion is rejected, he will have the cheek, blush and fight for one, two or three. It is recorded in the book that when he tried to play something in the hall, his words were inconsistent. The emperor was furious and allowed him to take the emperor's clothes, let him sit down again and decided to retreat. How dare you drag the emperor's clothes to discuss things? How dare you? No manners, seniority? Although the emperor made fun of it afterwards, he compared Kou Zhun with Wei Zhi; However, it is really impolite for him to keep protesting with his clothes on.
Kou Zhun was worried about the emperor, and so were his colleagues. If you don't move, you will spit and fly, and you will steal your opponent. Especially after the alliance of Shanzhou, Song Zhenzong especially valued Kou Zhun. Kou Zhun himself is on cloud nine, and his arrogance is beyond words. One day, at the courtier meeting, Kou Zhun went first, and Song Zhenzong looked at the minister respectfully. Ministers see in their eyes, who doesn't secretly grind their teeth and drink sour water? The first thing I envy is Wang Qinruo. If this guy doesn't slander me, Kou Zhun won't. I didn't fall out of favor. On the other hand, it's all Kou Zhun's fault that he lost his mind. He is arrogant and bent on his own way.
Expose Kou Zhun's short stature.-Improper employment. It is written in the literature that the employment is not bad, and the same column is quite unhappy. In addition to the official, it is also listed as a case file entered by officials. Quasi: the promotion and abdication of the prime minister are corruption. If you use this case, you and I will both become officials. Obviously, Kou Zhun was chosen by feeling. What civil service system, promotion record, all fuck off. -I will mention whoever I want, and I will exempt whoever I want. Therefore, his critical vision cannot replace the civil service selection system. On the contrary, it attracted a group of eloquent politicians and caused a lot of unnecessary troubles for themselves. Ding Wei, a talented moustache in Song Dynasty, was a newly rich man hand-picked by Kou Zhun. The man tried to flatter Kou Zhun. Unexpectedly, I made enemies for a joke: when I was eating in Zhongshu Province, vegetable soup got a beard. Ding Wei, vice premier of the Song Dynasty, immediately ran forward and politely wiped the juice and vegetable residue from his beard for his immediate superior. However, Kou Zhun said half-truths. How can a high-ranking minister grow a beard for his boss? Slippery beard in a word, so planted on Ding. From then on, Ding Wei held a grudge against the Song Dynasty and began to attack and frame his boss and benefactor, so that Kou Zhun was as far away as Leizhou. Who is to blame for this? On the one hand, Kou Zhun's mouth is immoral and too hurtful; On the other hand, Ding Wei's moustache in Song Dynasty was really contemptible.
Kou Zhun also has the problem of kindness. -he wants others to crawl on the ground and be grateful. He likes obedience and awe from the outside world. How can everyone be afraid of the old man's official prestige? It is said that when Zhang Yong was working in Chengdu, he heard that Kou Zhun became prime minister and immediately told people that Zi Gong was a great scholar, but he was not good at learning. He even told Kou Zhun to read the History of Song Dynasty carefully. What do you mean? He thinks that Kou Zhun has no knowledge.
Not only Zhang Yong criticized, but also minister Wang Dan publicly said that Kou Zhun had a penis in front of the emperor. He said: A good man is kind, but he wants others to be awesome, so ministers avoid him. It must be your own responsibility, which is short-lived.
Kou Zhun Tomb
Indulge in extravagance and waste
In the eyes of ordinary people, an honest official is as upright as Harry, as selfless as Bao Zheng, as wise as Di Renjie and as poor as Yu Chenglong. All the perfect moral elements are collectively shaped into a hundred generations of honest officials. Of course, this wishful spiritual idol is difficult to copy to flesh and blood. As it happens, Kou Zhun is not broke, and neither is he. I don't want to live a bitter life of eating bran.
Look at the biographies of Kou Zhun in the Song Dynasty: teenagers became rich, indulged in sex and drank too much in comedy. Every banquet, close the door and leave. There is no oil lamp at home, so light candles. Kou Zhun is rich and likes luxury. His family often holds large parties and luxurious receptions, and candles with thick arms are lit everywhere in the corner, even in toilets and stables. At the banquet, blowing, beating, singing, jumping and jumping are indispensable. After drinking, Kou Zhun generously distributed red envelopes and rewards. Prime Minister Tang never gave a basket of apples and two pairs of socks as a reward; Spend the same amount of money! She angered her concubine Tao Xi and stopped watching, so she wrote a poem and kindly advised him to restrain himself. My concubine is very literary. A song says: a pure song and a bunch of silk are unconsciously beautiful. I don't-I don't know how many times the Weaver Girl threw the shuttle under the cold window. Others wrote that the wind drives the clothes repeatedly, and the static window rolls cold. What, is Song Like the demon queen?
Unexpectedly, Yu Ji's two poems are not as extravagant as Kou Zhun's, so I failed to convince him. Instead, he drew his pen and ink. With a stroke of his pen, he replied, what will the general's fame and fortune be like? Just like running in a hurry, why do you ask everything in the world and listen to colorful songs in front of the bottle? I don't care what others say, but he's still the same. He can play-eat, drink and be happy. I'm in charge.
There are only three kinds of officials: one is to engage in corruption and only do things; Second, corruption is inevitable, and many people
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