Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Suitable for a joke after marriage

Suitable for a joke after marriage

1: A housewife heard someone knocking at the door. When she opened the door, a strong man stood outside the door and asked fiercely, "Do you have a B?"

The housewife closed the door angrily. The next day, the strong man knocked at the door and asked the same question, so the housewife told her husband.

Her husband said, "I won't go to work tomorrow. If he asks again, you say yes. I will stand behind the door and see what he wants. "

On the third day, the strong man came again: "Do you have a B?"

"Yes," replied the housewife.

"Well, then go back and tell your husband not to fuck my wife!"

A rural couple gave birth to five girls. Someone asked her husband how many children he had. The answer is: I was busy with B ten years ago, and B was full of beds ten years later; Sleep on both sides, in the middle, in the middle.

In a remote mountainous area, a woman is naturally fond of showing off. Shortly after the marriage, her man went out to do business, and the woman was having an affair with her lover in the house. Halfway through, listening to the footsteps outside, the woman hurriedly put on her lover's sheepskin coat and hid in the backyard sheepfold.

The man came back to pull the woman to have sex, and the woman refused. The man was so hungry that he went to the backyard to catch a sheep. It happened that this sheep was faked by that woman's lover. After sex, the man went back to his room and got up in the middle of the night to catch sheep to vent.

In the morning, the man got up, thinking back to last night, thinking that the sheep smelled, went to the backyard, grabbed the sheep and was about to act. The sheep suddenly stood up and said, "Are you fucking crazy? Am I the only sheep in the sheepfold? "

4. A young woman was walking in the ice and snow, and wanted to go to the toilet, so she looked around. No one squatted down, and she couldn't stand up after going to the toilet. It turns out that her pubic hair is stuck on the ice and can't get up. what can I do? Suddenly I saw an old man with a white beard coming. The old man looked at it and asked, Girl, what are you doing? The girl said uncle uncle helped me, and my hair stuck to the ice. The old man thought for a moment and said, well, I'll thaw you with my breath, so he lay down and blew the joint between the girl's pubic hair and the ice with my breath. Unexpectedly, his beard stuck to the ice. what can I do? At this moment, a young man came, and the girl said to the young man, Big Brother, help me to take it off the drifter, my hair, my uncle's. But you have to let me do it first. Girls don't care so much. She said you did it. At this time, the old man suddenly shouted to the young man: young man, you should look clearly first. It's all B! ! ! !

5: There was a family named Pan, and the elder in the family passed away.

At the family festival, an old gentleman with a strong accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

The obituary says this:

Filial piety: Pangenko

Filial piety: Chi family

Filial piety granddaughter: Pan Liangci

Filial piety: Pan Daoshi

But this old gentleman is blind and his pronunciation is not standard.

When he called the roll according to the obituary, anyone who literally had three points of water or left the capital missed it.

So I read it to him like this: "Be filial, turn over ... and fight with ..."

Hearing this, the filial piety man felt very strange, but he was afraid to ask, so he turned a somersault.

Then he said, "Filial piety, too ... is ..."

Hearing this, the filial daughter-in-law said, "I want to turn it over, too?" So the filial daughter-in-law also turned a somersault.

Again: "Filial piety granddaughter, turn it over twice. 」

Hearing this, the filial granddaughter thought that her parents had turned over, so I turned over! So I turned two somersaults.

At this time, Sun Xiao thought to herself, "Dad, mom turned once each, and my sister turned twice.

How many times do I have to go through it? I started to get nervous when I thought about it: "What should I do? 」

I saw the old man slit his throat and read aloud:

"Filial piety sun ... turn to ... go to hell ..."