Seek quick jokes.

1, I visit myself three times a day, and the most boring thing is: "counting my hair in front of the mirror", "chatting with mosquitoes that suck your blood", "looking at the stain on the ceiling and treating it as a landscape painting", "drinking a large glass of water, then sitting in the toilet and waiting.

Only because you yearn for the mistress of the stockade, I am the king of the mountain.

Remember to come to me when the whole world doesn't want you. I don't want you either.

Lu Xun waited for several decades, and all he got was a "master".

Ouyang Feng was fascinated by practicing the Nine Yin Zhen Classics backwards, and he searched for the original works crazily all day. Seeing this, his nephew Ouyang Ke couldn't bear it, so he bravado and said, "Uncle, you have found the true scripture and give it to your aunt. My aunt never forgets anything and burns it after reading it. " Ouyang Feng grabbed Ouyang Ke by the collar and shouted, "Where do you think I put the scriptures? ! "Ouyang Ke said emotionally," You exist in my aunt's heart. "

I knew whether it was true or not as soon as I opened my mouth. It doesn't matter. Go to hell. After your death, the most painful person will be the one who misses you most, the one I can't extricate myself from, and it will be me. Whether one year later, ten years later, or until the end of my life, my love for you will really continue, and they will forget you. Only I am real. Don't believe it? Go to hell. Time will prove it best.

7. "Miss, do you sell peninsula tin boxes?" "Yes, you turn right from the front, go straight along the road, and turn left at three traffic lights for about 150 meters. There is a stop, get on bus No.38, get off at 13, and ride a motorcycle to the newsstand at the south gate of Tianlun Infertility Hospital. There is an alley across the street that can enter the third adult goods store and enter the second row of shelves. " "Thank you!" "no!"

He had a stomachache and had to go to the public toilet that was said to be haunted. He picked a compartment and squatted down. Just as he stood up to leave after wiping his ass, he found a pale face slowly emerging from the toilet, staring at him with empty eyes. Just when he was too scared to speak, he suddenly smiled faintly. "Is it hot and sour powder for dinner?" It licked its lips. "It's delicious."

10, love is like the story of Titanic: both the hero and heroine have moved their true feelings. And marriage is like the end of Titanic: the heroine moved the truth and the hero felt dead.

1 1, "finally, I can't forget love, and you always understand it too late. Finally, I cried and begged me to stay. Shrimp slippery! ! ! "-"The most dazzling wind "

12, looking back 500 times in my last life, I got cervical spondylosis in this life.

13, my Mr. Right is a hero in the world. One day he will step on the most beautiful clouds in the sky and sing the most dazzling national style. ...

14, for so many years, the people have not forgotten you.

15, missing is like chocolate, bitter! That's great. Dare not miss you! Afraid of missing you! I dare not say I miss you, but I'm afraid I miss you more! In fact, I really miss you, miss you, and become a pig!

16, this may be the last few days for me to send you a text message. I hesitate to tell you that I'm going to Japan and all the formalities have been completed. I won't forget you, really. My family got bird flu, so I went to infect it. . .

17. When the devil knocked on the glass in front of your window, the toad got into your bed, the poisonous snake rippled over your head, the earthworm shuttled between your toes, and the centipede had climbed into your nostrils. Don't be afraid! I rode a snail to save you! Drive! Drive!

18, Tang priest met a beautiful woman on the way to learn from the scriptures. Bajie saw it and decided to marry her. Wukong suspected it was a demon, and Tang Priest said it didn't matter. Send a text message to test it. If she doesn't reply, marry Bajie!

19, our fate began thousands of years ago. That autumn, we played in the maple forest with fallen leaves like fire, and you chased me. Finally, when you caught up with me, you kindly bit me. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

20. I have always been an unknown knight in the Jianghu, until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called out your name. Since then, I have also had a famous name in the Jianghu: Zhu Zhixia!