Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Tucao can write a composition
Tucao can write a composition
A Japanese writer once said that a novel is to turn a poem into a hundred sentences. It doesn't sound like he has a good impression of this novel. But when you think about it, it is not a simple thing to turn a hundred sentences into a poem. When a friend of mine was reading Kafka's prose, I asked him, what is this book about? He shrugged his shoulders and said contemptuously, nothing, just that the world is going to die and mankind is going to die. Hearing this, my heart can't help getting cold. It's not that what he said is not good, but that I don't agree with his point of view, but I can't find anything to refute him. If we can't do anything about this view of everyone, we have to call it spitting.
Spitting is not nonsense. According to the official explanation, tucao means destroying Taiwan Province, and further, exposing the essence. What is the essence? Music in a certain period is called essence. After listening to it, I felt terrible. That kind of music should belong to death metal or something In short, when it comes to essence, people never think of good things. For so many years, I have been listening to my mother say that a person's essence is bad, but I have never stopped saying that a person's essence is good.
When I was in high school (why so vicissitudes), I won the honorary title of "Emperor Tu Tu". I don't know if they praised me or satirized me. Once, a man was holding a smart phone he didn't know to show off, such as angry birds and Tom cats. When we had a pleasant discussion, I asked, is this the so-called "golden apple"? Suddenly, the atmosphere of the whole bed was cold. Of course, whether it is a fake or not, I don't know at last. Whether it is an apple or a golden apple, there is really no difference in my eyes, except of course the incomprehensible price.
It is said that one of Schopenhauer's disciples (rare) said that if there is no falsehood, we can't survive in this world. Now that I think about it, it makes sense. With the deepening of human understanding of the world, human survival has become more and more problematic. This is really a paradox. Tucao is more like this pseudo-terminator. "God is dead", I think Nietzsche should be one of the greatest spit emperors in human history. Of course, "Homo sapiens is the same ancestor" is also a very destructive statement. Of course, the two uncles also paid a heavy price for their own spit. What is this? God is an illusory matrix, and apes are of the same ancestry, even Li Shizhen discovered it in those days. In fact, there is no profound truth in the two, just close to the essence, a little closer, that's all.
I often tell people what a person's essence is layer by layer, and students say, Oh, 164 you are too complicated. Actually, it's not. People don't like essence not because the exploration of essence is complicated, but because in the end, it is found that essence itself is so simple, simple to nothingness. Old Heidegger said, "The essence of existence is time", ticking time. In the end, everything is nothing again. What about love? What about conscience? Where's God? Hey, this is another spit.
Therefore, it is better to spit less, unless you are talking about cross talk or really have the overwhelming ability to spit out the above great philosophers. After all, if human beings want to survive and live on, it is good to know the essence. Why do they always hang him on people's heads?
But what I just said sounded like spitting.
2. Write a composition of more than 500 words with the topic of tucao. The world is full of wonders, and there are wonderful things everywhere. In the past, people might be furious, but now, even if they see a pig playing cute with you and greeting you in fluent Japanese, people will calmly return the gift. Now everything has changed. Spitting is used to count money, not to reason? Wrong, spit is used to spit, not to count money.
I want to throw up. Why do you have to get up so early to go to school? Oh, who is so cruel to separate me from my beloved bed! Oh, goodbye, my soft quilt! Oh, goodbye, my dear pillow! I will miss you.
I want to throw up. After five painful and happy days, the weekend finally came. How blue the sky is and how white the clouds are. On weekends, my love, I miss you like a raging river, and I can't wait to throw myself into your arms! But why is there so much homework! I was torn apart by this bolt from the blue, and even on holidays, my homework was always with me. Finally, I had a weekend with little homework, but time always passed so quickly. Why, another week was ravaged by homework! My heart is cold and my tears are flowing. Time, slow down, a beautiful day, never look back. ...
I want to throw up. Sleep! Shopping! No one can stop me! But the exquisite goods in the glass window are always so expensive that I have no choice but to leave reluctantly. Don't go to the mall again, I left quietly, just like I came quietly; I waved my sleeves and didn't take a commodity. ...
what did you say ? /Excuse me? Your mother asked you to go home for dinner? Ok, continue next time.
3. How to write a tucao composition
There is a good saying: "If you spit well, life will not be troublesome."
So I began to vomit the text in the Chinese book desperately.
Take Lu Xun's group essays as an example. At the beginning of one of them, the wreath at the funeral took a lot of pen and ink. What is white, silver, round and square is just a matter of counting. Even if I was impressed, I wouldn't be so detailed. If you want to find it easy for Lu Xun to write about himself, you must break a wreath if you can relate to the following.
There is also a set of words about * * *. The editor insisted on breaking other people's speeches into Chinese textbooks, and the teacher also asked us to recite the full text, which led us to dream about words such as the New Fourth Army and the Eighth Route Army in our sleep and dreams. This is a speech that inspires the gay revolution. How useful is it to primary schools?
The article "Visiting Friends in the Mountains" is also very annoying. You run to the mountain to play, and when you see that this is a friend and that is a friend, you are completely full. If you don't call the leaves, will your friends still wave to you? You call this bird a friend, but it is song for you? I can't believe I'm bored enough to dig through the soil to find the roots underground.
Lu Xun said "it's dark", and the answer to the question compiled by later generations is: "It shows that it's dark in the old society." Lu Xun said, "I fell." Later generations said: "It shows that Lu Xun encountered setbacks in the old society." Lu Xun said, "I got up." Later generations said: "It shows that Lu Xun overcame difficulties and highlighted his spirit." Lu Xun is really a god, and later generations are even more so! Maybe he just fell down after dark? I'm going to break the back routine.
Every time I vomit, my ears are red and my hair stands on end. As a result, I was not only annoyed, but also more angry! Sure enough, the rumor is not credible.
4. It is no exaggeration to ask for an essay on the topic of tucao, saying that it has entered the era of national writing.
Obviously, spitting composition is an ability. Some netizens teased: I took the Chinese exam in the morning and the composition questions came out. On the internet, there are all kinds of spit and joy; In the afternoon, I took a math test. Facing the math test paper, the enthusiasm of the network suddenly dropped to freezing point, which was a great success. This seems to show that many adults have a serious shortage of knowledge reserves and lack the ability to spit out too "professional" subjects such as mathematics, physics and chemistry, but people are so partial to composition and so fond of college entrance examination composition. I'm afraid it's not just their lack of ability in other subjects that can explain everything.
Tucao composition promotes the progress of Chinese teaching Since the Internet came into being, people's enthusiasm for participating in college entrance examination composition has been rising year after year. In addition to criticizing, suggesting, spitting and mocking, netizens also let the composition examine what kind of ability students should have, what kind of values, language ability, aesthetic taste, humanistic quality and so on, forming a clear direction. Even from a technical point of view, it has formed a clear direction for the composition questions of the college entrance examination, which should be conducive to the relevance of students and develop their multi-dimensional thinking. In a sense, the progress of composition in recent years, the composition of college entrance examination is gradually away from politicization, pan-moralization and false lyricism, and gradually returns to the meaning of writing itself, which is probably inseparable from the spit of netizens. It is precisely because of netizens' voicing that the proposition, marking and evaluation of composition gradually get rid of the traditional thinking mode and the thinking mode confined to the small circle of Chinese teaching in the past, thus getting closer to the times and students' reality.
College entrance examination composition is becoming a part of people's spiritual life. Netizens love college entrance examination composition, take stock of the history of college entrance examination composition, reflect on the past college entrance examination composition, which is false and boring, political correctness first, and moral sublimation. In recent years, while the traditional high-scoring composition has been banished from the altar, all kinds of hilarious compositions and zero-scoring compositions have even been heated up, and even some netizens have extended their horizons to the comparison of college entrance examination compositions in the Republic of China and Chinese and foreign college entrance examination compositions. This is the restoration of composition value, and it is also the driving force for many adults who have experienced the distortion of composition evaluation mechanism in college entrance examination to reflect on the past and participate in reality. The reason why people care so much about college entrance examination composition is that it is an eternal symbol of youth, a carrier of the times, and a spiritual gathering to stimulate humanistic feelings and mother tongue writing ability.
┏ (^ω^)=
5. Can you speak the composition? You're right. I'll give you a model essay.
A Japanese writer once said that a novel is to turn a poem into a hundred sentences. It doesn't sound like he has a good impression of this novel. But when you think about it, it is not a simple thing to turn a hundred sentences into a poem. When a friend of mine was reading Kafka's prose, I asked him, what is this book about? He shrugged his shoulders and said contemptuously, nothing, just that the world is going to die and mankind is going to die. Hearing this, my heart can't help getting cold. It's not that what he said is not good, but that I don't agree with his point of view, but I can't find anything to refute him. If we can't do anything about everyone's view, we can only call it spitting.
Spitting is not nonsense. According to the official explanation, tucao means destroying Taiwan Province, and further, exposing the essence. What is the essence? Music in a certain period is called essence. After listening to it, I felt terrible. That kind of music should belong to death metal or something In short, when it comes to essence, people never think of good things. For so many years, I have been listening to my mother say that a person's essence is bad, but I have never stopped saying that a person's essence is good.
When I was in high school (why so vicissitudes), I won the honorary title of "Emperor Tu Tu". I don't know if they praised me or satirized me. Once, a man was holding a smart phone he didn't know to show off, such as angry birds and Tom cats. When we had a pleasant discussion, I asked, is this the so-called "golden apple"? Suddenly, the atmosphere of the whole bed was cold. Of course, whether it is a fake or not, I don't know at last. Whether it is an apple or a golden apple, there is really no difference in my eyes, except of course the incomprehensible price.
It is said that one of Schopenhauer's disciples (rare) said that if there is no falsehood, we can't survive in this world. Now that I think about it, it makes sense. With the deepening of human understanding of the world, human survival has become more and more problematic. This is really a paradox. Tucao is more like this pseudo-terminator. "God is dead", I think Nietzsche should be one of the greatest spit emperors in human history. Of course, "Homo sapiens is the same ancestor" is also a very destructive statement. Of course, the two uncles also paid a heavy price for their own spit. What is this? God is an illusory matrix, and apes are of the same ancestry, even Li Shizhen discovered it in those days. In fact, there is no profound truth in the two, just close to the essence, a little closer, that's all.
I often tell people what a person's essence is layer by layer, and students say, Oh, 164 you are too complicated. Actually, it's not. People don't like essence not because the exploration of essence is complicated, but because in the end, it is found that essence itself is so simple, simple to nothingness. Old Heidegger said, "The essence of existence is time", ticking time. In the end, everything is nothing again. What about love? What about conscience? Where's God? Hey, this is another spit.
Therefore, it is better to spit less, unless you are talking about cross talk or really have the overwhelming ability to spit out the above great philosophers. After all, if human beings want to survive and live on, it is good to know the essence. Why do they always hang him on people's heads?
But what I just said sounded like spitting.
6. I want to vomit a 600-word composition. Why do you have to get up so early to go to school? Oh, who is so cruel to separate me from my beloved bed! Oh, goodbye, my soft quilt! Oh, goodbye, my dear pillow! I will miss you.
I want to throw up. After five painful and happy days, the weekend finally came. How blue the sky is and how white the clouds are. On weekends, my love, I miss you like a raging river, and I can't wait to throw myself into your arms! But why is there so much homework! I was torn apart by this bolt from the blue, and even on holidays, my homework was always with me. Finally, I had a weekend with little homework, but time always passed so quickly. Why, another week was ravaged by homework! My heart is cold and my tears are flowing. Time, slow down, a beautiful day, never look back. ...
7. Write a composition about the weather these days. My family's "weather control station"
The "weather" in our family is always like a balance, alternating with wind and rain, sunny and cloudy, flickering. Moreover, it is not others who control this "weather", but me, my mother and my father, the "three generals".
(1) the controller of wind, rain, thunder and electricity-"always hum" mother.
Weather: Hoo-hoo-a gust of wind (eyebrows upside down) suddenly struck, only to see my mother's face "flash" with a series of "lightning" (glare) and tremble twice in the "sky" (white face). For example, the "thunder" (angry accusation) of 10 thousand iron balls rolling on the model kept rumbling and it began to rain cats and dogs.
The process of changing: "Hum, why is the newly bought skirt dirty again?" After listening to my intermittent words, my mother looked at my skirt with flowers everywhere, and her eyebrows stood on end, like two swords inserted upside down. I looked scared and nodded at a loss: "Hmm, hmm ..." My mother's small eyes suddenly opened bigger than those of the cartoon characters, and suddenly struck the table: "Hum, is it easy for us to make money? You just used to ... "I suddenly felt a chill, involuntarily suo suo neck.
(2) Temperature controller-"General Ha" Dad
Temperature: The temperature reaches 40 degrees Celsius, and the scorching sun is about to scorch the road. The cicada in the tree whispered, "It's so hot, so hot". The buttonwood tree on the roadside bowed its head feebly. "Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
The process of change: Dad trotted home with a big smile on his face, knocking on the door and shouting, "Haha, I won the lottery!" " I won the big prize! "I listened to my father and quickly opened the door. I saw my father waving the lottery ticket in his hand, shaking his body from side to side and saying happily, "Haha, I won 3000 yuan!" " "My mom and I also grinned and praised my dad for being' awesome'. The temperature in the room suddenly rose by more than ten degrees. The three of us all blushed like being exposed to the hot sun. I quickly pressed the air conditioner and began to celebrate my father's winning the lottery.
(3) Brilliant sunshine control-"Hey General" me.
The situation of the earth: the sun shines down like a layer of gold on the earth. Everything was full of vitality at once, and everyone smiled and nodded at me. Especially the blooming sunflowers, follow me everywhere.
Change: "Hey, I'm the first in the Chinese test class!" " "I have a test paper with almost no red cross in my hand and proudly show it off to my parents. Mom and dad quickly took the test paper in my hand, read it carefully, and praised it from time to time: "Good test, good test. "At this time, everything at home seems to have vitality." Mom, I want to eat KEC! "Mom didn't blink:" OK, OK, I'll take you right away! ""I turned to my father with a smile: "Dad, hey hey, just buy me a horse note!" "Dad nodded heavily:" buy, buy, help you buy right away! ""I said with satisfaction, "That's more like it!"
Of course, in our family, the second situation is more common, and sunny days are the best!
8. Tucao school composition Tucao my school
My school is Fuqing Lu Hong Central Primary School, and I like my school very much.
The school has beautiful scenery, and there are flowers and trees everywhere. I go to school with my schoolbag on my back every day and smell the fragrance of those flowers and plants. I feel very comfortable!
My school has two teaching buildings. The new teaching building is a classroom for grade one and grade two, and the teaching building is a classroom for grade three, four, five and six, which will be older. I'm a sophomore now, and a new thing happened this semester. There used to be 60 students in our class, but now there are only 52 students in Grade Two, and some of them have been transferred to Class 9. It turns out that there were eight classes in our freshman year, with about 60 students in each class. There were too many people in the class. Now, when we are in Grade Two, about eight students are drawn from each class to form a new class. Now there are 9 classes in Grade Two. I don't like teachers changing around, and I don't like being transferred to other classes.
Next to my teaching building is a playground, a beautiful playground and a rubber track. I'm looking forward to the school sports meeting. I heard that our school holds a sports meeting every two years. Last year, I was a senior one, but there was no sports meeting at school. Then there will be a sports meeting this year. I am so excited! I want to be a cheerleader and cheer for the athletes in our class!
I like my school. In the new semester, I hope I will make persistent efforts in my study!
9.500-word composition: I want to tell you that it happened on the third day when I just transferred to Liu Lu Primary School in Taitung, Qingdao (one person didn't do his homework, and the whole class had to write a composition to vomit).
I felt a sort of surge of relief. When I got home, I packed my schoolbag as usual.
Fortunately, grandma's house is close to school? "My heart is a joy, because finally came a person who can help me. When the teacher learned that I forgot to remember my math homework before I came back, she opened the door and went into the classroom to finish it quickly. Her mood relaxed a lot at once, but my face showed anxiety. She asked me.
I rushed downstairs immediately. Then a young female teacher with long flowing hair came along! "And go to the guidance office and ask the reception office if there is a key to our class," she said earnestly.
Then it suddenly occurred to me that I haven't said thank you to the teacher yet! But I am still so grateful to the teacher: "It's so late. At that time, everything at school was still strange to me, so I rushed to the second floor.
Pushed the door open. After school that afternoon.
This feeling of sighing at the ocean is really worrying, so I rushed back to school. I can't see clearly what the homework is, but because of the sunlight reflection, "be careful next time and find that the door has been locked." I have to give the key to the reception room and go back to grandma's house. Why don't you go home? " I really appreciate it. Teacher, I just took out my homework and didn't write a few words when I remembered that I didn't write my math homework. I want to tell you.
Although I can see through the glass on the door that my homework has not been erased, it is a very small story.
10. What impressed me most was Guo, a female teacher who taught me the fifth grade of primary school.
She taught us about thirty or forty years old. Her round face always has a pair of shallow glasses sliding in the middle of her nose. In my memory, she is an amiable but occasionally strict person.
She never blames us for our exam results. Only once, she was dissatisfied with our exam results and pulled a long face. That's because we are not careful when deducting points. But seeing our frightened eyes, she smiled again and patted us on the shoulder, telling us not to be discouraged and "drive" us away next time. We realized gratefully that she loved us and didn't mean to scold us.
In class, as soon as she realizes that we are tired, she will bring out some small jokes from her old stories to activate our thinking.
When we make mistakes in class, she won't criticize us sharply in front of the whole class. She will use the mistakes she made as a child to entertain and educate. She is the only teacher I have ever seen who uses herself as a negative textbook to educate her students.
She loves sports and often finds some classmates at work to exercise with. Until now, I still remember how we exercised together.
How can I not like such a teacher and not want to be with her? Even when she changes her homework, we are willing to look at her through the office door.
Not long ago, my leg was broken. When she first saw it, she was very interested, even though she was no longer my math teacher. Then she looked at it very carefully. After fully understanding, she told me to walk slowly and never run. She found traces of mercurochrome in my wound. She patiently told me that mercuric chloride could not be used all the time, which was not good for the wound, and asked me to use it less in the future. Then she told me to get back to work and wait for me. She has just entered her class. Suddenly, my heart felt warm as if it had been lit by a torch. Her words gave me great comfort. What a good teacher she is, putting humanistic care first!
Unfortunately, before I graduated from primary school, she didn't teach us until the end, and she stopped teaching us after entering the sixth grade. Although the current teacher is also excellent, I still miss the time with her and the happy time with Miss Guo!
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