Ancient homophonic joke spectrum

Lose the heart of mortals. number; amount; how many; how much

Half-on-half in pairs. double；twofold

Thirteen o'clock. fruit juice

Good evening. Dry in the sun

A little in your mouth. although

There's nothing wrong. white

Semiconductors. pay

Make changes while walking. politics

Not a boy. surname

Dust is flying. small

Speak for yourself. Stingy

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

Do what you see.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.

I have to give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.

However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept

After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"

The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."

Machine (chicken) making. "

There is a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before.

I used to send a telegram to the manager, fearing that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "Seize the opportunity."

No? "The manager received the telegram and thought it was an" opportunity "to clinch a deal. He immediately called back:" You can take it.

Multiply "

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager took a plane with insufficient level.

The provisions of the plane will not be reimbursed, and the plane ticket fee will not be reimbursed. The salesman killed the manager and came back.

Electricity, the manager was dumbfounded.

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more cheerful.

For form.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is."

I come from Myanmar, so I am shy. "Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone and stayed for a drink.

Then he said, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the term, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management.

It thunders He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong;

As an officer, I won't do it! "