2 people super funny sketch, nasty nasty nasty.

One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "

The teacher said angrily, "Good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "

So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?"

The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" "

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " "

The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" "

The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "

Teacher: "The weather is fine today."

Student: "The weather is terrible today."

Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."

Student: "There are clouds everywhere."

Teacher: "The road is crowded with people."

Student: "There is no one on the road."

Teacher: "Young."

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."

Teacher: "I found a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar."

Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."

Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "

Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "

Teacher: "Wrong."

Student: "Correct."

Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "

Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "

Teacher: "I was wrong."

Student: "We are right."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "

Teacher: "You are so stupid."

Student: "We are very smart."

Teacher: "Stop!"

Student: "Go on!"

Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "

Student: "Go on now! Say it! "

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "

Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "

Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "

Teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" " "

Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "

Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "

Teacher: "Are you endless?"

Student: "We finish what we started!" "

Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "

Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "

..... Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily with a book in his arms.

(2)

Super host

A and B (together): Hello everyone! (Bowing)

A festival is coming. What day is today? Do you know that?/You know what?

B: What?

A: What other day could it be? 1 month 1 day is not New Year's Day, can it still be a square egg?

You mean round eggs? Aren't all eggs round?

A: Don't talk nonsense, I'm talking about Chinese New Year!

Okay, let's get down to business. I heard that CCTV is holding a get-together, and the host level is really not good!

A: Isn't it? At the beginning of the party, the host came out to announce the curtain call (with a turning point): "The New Year's Eve party is over!" "

B: Huh? Really? How did it end before it started?

A: That's nothing. There will be worse!

B: What's the matter?

A: The next program is the Yellow River Chorus. In order to make up for the previous mistakes, the host specially added a line (full of passion): "The Yellow River is our mother river! It has a long history and has given birth to countless Chinese sons and daughters. Please enjoy the chorus (stretching tone)-"Song of the Yangtze River"! "

B: Look at the excitement. You can't tell the Yangtze River from the Yellow River!

A: Another program is the dance when the maple leaves are red, and the host comes up again (holding his chest with both hands, sweetly): "Please enjoy the dance-when the red leaves are crazy."

This is nowhere to be found! I don't think Hongye is crazy, but I'm going crazy!

A: Next, the host recited the soundtrack prose Huangguoshu Waterfall (lyrical, b humming music): "Today I'm going to visit the world-famous Huangguoshu. At the foot of the mountain, we began to March over mountains and mountains. I was shocked! I saw a rag hanging on the cliff ... "(interrupted by B)

B: A rag! When did the rag that wiped the table run halfway up the mountain?

A: Don't be too busy laughing! There are more interesting things!

B: Huh?

A: The next program is the children's solo "Little Girl Picking Mushrooms", and the host came up again (with a clear voice): "Please enjoy the children's solo-"Little Girl Picking Mushrooms "!"

B: Ha ha! This little mushroom is really amazing!

A: Next is the flute solo "Whipping a whip and driving a horse to transport grain", which is about the happy scene of farmers harvesting and driving a carriage to transport grain after autumn. The host announced: "Please enjoy the only son's flute-"Whipping Horses and Conveying Rogues "!"

B: Huh? What kind of only child is this? Still carrying hooligans!

A: The last program is Xinjiang folk song "Lift your hijab". The host was confident this time and said unhurriedly (confidently): "Please enjoy the Xinjiang folk song" Lift Your Head "! (with action) "

(B turned to run, but was stopped by A) A: Crosstalk is not over yet. What are you running for?

B: I'll lose my head if I don't leave!

A and B (bow together): Thank you! (Step down)

I've played this, and it works well.