Short and funny jokes

A collection of short and cold jokes

Short and cold jokes: First, calculate that there is no balance left during the holiday, and you can’t help crying. Then, calculate how much you spent on the holiday, and you will cry. Bigger.

Short and cold jokes 1

1. Don’t be friends with people who wake up in the morning and find that they forgot to charge their mobile phones before going to bed. They can even forget to charge their mobile phones. What else can they do? Keep it in your heart?

2. A: When will you know that you are really all friends?

B: Even if you give him a red envelope, you won’t even open it. ?

3. This is a telephone market survey for pet food. The person who answered the phone was a child.

City investigator: Children, do you have any puppies, kittens, rabbits or birds at home?

Child: No, my mother only gave birth to me. one. ?

4. A: I will take you to a place where all the girls are not wearing bras. ?

B: ? Really? Where is it? Take me there quickly!?

A: ? It’s in the kindergarten next door!? Short joke 2

1. "Dad," the younger son said, "Can I stay at home today? I feel uncomfortable." ?

?What do you feel uncomfortable about? Dad asked.

?School. ?The younger son replied.

2. Teacher: ?You are finally here! Why didn’t you come to class yesterday?

Student: ?Because...because, my mother fell down the stairs...?

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Teacher: Oh! I see, mom was injured, so you didn’t come. ?

Student: No...it was my dad who was injured...?

Teacher: Why did your dad get hurt when your mom fell down the stairs? Student: Because. .My dad has a woman outside...?

Teacher: ?What?..What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs?

Student: ?Because they were fighting ..My mother fell and it was fine. My father was injured by my mother. ?

Teacher: ?Oh... so you didn't come to class because you sent your father to the hospital?

Student: ?No... it was a woman outside who sent my father to the hospital. ?

Teacher: ? Then why didn’t you come to class?

Student: ? Because I overslept...?

Teacher: ? Then talk to your mother What does falling down the stairs have to do with it!?

Student: No, I... I just mentioned it by the way..?

3. It’s the festival, and the master gives the pig , cows, sheep, chickens, ducks, geese, etc. gathered in the kitchen and asked kindly: "How do you like to be eaten?" The animals did not speak. After a long time, the rooster cautiously spoke: "I want the master to say: "Don't be afraid, just say whatever you want!" The rooster said: "Actually, we don't want to be eaten!"

The master interrupted Rooster's words: Look at you, you are going off topic!?

4. A student is undergoing a physical examination to enter a vocational school.

Excuse me, do you often stutter like this? The doctor asked.

?No, no, not often, only when talking, only, that’s what happens!? Short and cold jokes 3

1. A friend asked me: Everyone is obviously in the elevator We were standing, why did we say taking the elevator?

I took a puff of cigarette and replied silently: Have you ever heard of visiting a grave?

2. A: My dad My mother has double eyelids and I have single eyelids. What's going on?

B: There is a possibility that your mother's double eyelids were cut. . .

3. Schr?dinger’s cat in the entertainment industry, if you don’t reveal the truth, we will continue to show our affection. If you reveal the truth, we will have divorced.

4. Explanation of terms: working days: days when you don’t want to work.

5. Went to eat hot pot. Everyone showed a strong sense of sovereignty over the dishes they ordered. The dinner was full of questions: My meat is old? Your eggs should be cooked? Take my intestines out. Put them all down, give me some blood, wait for the dialogue, the scene is bloody. Don't move, there's something wrong with me inside. . . ;