Guo Da Guo Donglin Cai Ming's skit about a police thief Cai Ming plays a thief What's his name?

It’s the Chinese New Year

The New Year’s Eve sketch co-starred by Guo Da\Cai Ming\Guo Donglin at the 1997 Spring Festival Gala:

Guo Donglin: Orchid! orchid?

Cai Ming: Hey, here it comes, here it comes. Ah, oh, who is this? Damn, vigorously.

Guo Donglin: Orchid!

Cai Ming: Why are you here?

Guo Donglin: I’ll take you home for the New Year!

Cai Ming: Hush!

Guo Donglin: What’s going on?

Cai Ming: Didn’t I write you a letter? I can’t go back during the New Year.

Guo Donglin: Damn, I won’t come if you don’t write a letter.

Cai Ming: Why?

Guo Donglin: You said you can’t go back during the Chinese New Year. You are not a member of the People’s Liberation Army on duty, and you are not a worker on duty. You are just a nanny washing clothes and cooking for others, and you pretend to be in need of revolutionary work.

Cai Ming: Uncle Guo has just been discharged from the hospital and is all alone. I don’t feel at ease leaving him behind.

Guo Donglin: Then don’t worry if you leave me. You said that we had only been married for half a year, and before the new house was warm, you went out to work, and we haven't seen each other for several months. It doesn't matter that I am young, but my parents can't stand thinking about my daughter-in-law.

Cai Ming: Damn, you said you won without even thinking about it. I don’t know what your potential is.

Guo Donglin: Orchid.

Cai Ming: What are you doing?

Guo Donglin: I want to get angry with you.

Cai Ming: I knew you were going to do this. Someone!

Guo Donglin: Where? Scared me.

(Coughing sound...)

Guo Donglin: Is there really someone? Who is this?

Cai Ming: Uncle Guo, who else can it be?

Guo Donglin: Damn, Uncle Guo too, you don’t cough in the morning, you don’t cough in the evening, you cough at this time! Hey, orchids!

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Donglin: I haven’t faced it yet, let’s do it next.

Guo Da: Orchid, come and fight me.

Guo Donglin: No wonder I have to go home. Have you found someone who is right?

Cai Ming: What are you talking about? Uncle Guo.

Guo Da: Yeah.

Cai Ming: You want to smoke again.

Guo Da: Yeah.

Cai Ming: The doctor said you are not allowed to smoke. You are not allowed to smoke.

Guo Da: Medium, medium, medium.

Guo Donglin: I was shocked. ah? middle!

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Donglin: Is Uncle Guo our fellow countryman?

Cai Ming: No.

Guo Donglin: It’s convenient to talk.

Cai Ming: But.

Guo Da: Orchid, who are you talking to at the door?

Cai Ming: With a cabbage seller.

Guo Donglin: Uh-huh...

Guo Da: Oh. Hey orchid, the street will bring us cabbage soon, don’t buy it.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Donglin: Why do you say I am a cabbage seller?

Cai Ming: Then if you are my husband, Uncle Guo has to let me go back with you.

Guo Donglin: That’s not right.

Cai Ming: What’s just right? What will Uncle Guo do when I leave? Let me tell you, after entering the house, make a three-part agreement. First, don’t say you are my husband.

Guo Donglin: Medium.

Cai Ming: Second, you are not allowed to say that I am your wife.

Guo Donglin: Medium.

Cai Ming: Third, don’t say that we are a couple.

Guo Donglin: This is different!

Cai Ming: It’s the same, let’s go into the house. Let's go.

Guo Donglin: Orchid...it's been a long time...

Guo Da: Orchid.

Cai Ming: Hey. let go.

Guo Donglin: What?

Cai Ming: Let go.

Guo Donglin: Oh.

Guo Da: What is this cabbage seller doing with you?

Cai Ming: Selling cabbage... Oh, haha, he, he is not selling cabbage. He is a fellow countryman of mine. You speak.

Guo Da: Oh.

Guo Donglin: We are not a couple.

Guo Da: Come and smoke.

Guo Donglin: Damn, I don’t know how to smoke.

Cai Ming: He doesn’t smoke.

Guo Da: Don’t smoke?

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: I just heard you at the door talking about fighting against fire, fighting against fire.

Cai Ming: He...his name is Duihuo.

Guo Da: Oh. Against the fire. Against fire? Against the fire!

Cai Ming: I’m calling you.

Guo Donglin: Call me?

Cai Ming: Call you.

Guo Donglin: Oh, my name is Duihuo.

Guo Da: Come on, come on. To the fire, sit down. Ah, I said yes to the fire.

Guo Donglin: Haha, Uncle Guo.

Guo Da: This name is really awkward for him. Looking for orchids?

Guo Donglin: Yes...ah, it's okay.

Cai Ming: It’s okay, it’s okay. Haha, he came to give me a message.

Guo Donglin: Yes.

Guo Da: The family will let you go back. Oops, did I already tell you to go home for the New Year?

Cai Ming: Oh, no, no! My family told me not to let me go back.

Guo Da: No need to let you go back?

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: Oh, you have just been married for more than half a year, so your lover doesn’t miss you?

Cai Ming: He... doesn't miss me at all. Right, against fire.

Guo Donglin: Yes, her lover is young, it doesn’t matter. His father and mother miss his wife and can't stand it.

Guo Da: His father can’t bear it? You young man are not married yet. You still can’t realize it!

Cai Ming: Ah, my husband said it. Let me spend the New Year with you, old man. That person of his is so kind-hearted! Very kind and good at connecting with people. You speak!

Guo Donglin: We are not a couple.

Guo Da: Oh, what are you calling there?

(No. 3, Uncle Guo, here comes the cabbage.)

Cai Ming: Oh, I understand.

Guo Donglin: Uncle Guo...

Cai Ming: Against the fire!

Guo Donglin: Well, what’s the matter?

Cai Ming: Move the cabbage.

Guo Donglin: I thought I was facing fire.

Guo Da: Lanhua, come here, Lanhua!

Cai Ming: Hey.

Guo Da: Let me tell you something.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: Lanhua, I think you, a fellow countryman, are not very kind to you.

Cai Ming: Huh?

Guo Da: He is always flirting with you. I think he always wants to do something to you.

Cai Ming: Uncle Guo, he is a good man.

Guo Da: A good person?

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Donglin: Uncle Guo, where do you put this cabbage?

Cai Ming: Oh, just leave it at the door.

Guo Donglin: OK, orchids, I can put them wherever you want. My wonderful orchid.

Guo Da: Tell me, does he look like a good person? Orchid, you have been out for more than half a year, you must be very thoughtful. ah! You understand that he doesn’t understand.

Cai Ming: We are not a couple.

Guo Da: Right? You still don’t understand this! People's hearts are separated from each other, so you should be more careful. I can't give him a good face anymore. What are you laughing at? Did you hear that?

Cai Ming: I heard it.

Guo Donglin; Uncle Guo, the cabbage is all put away.

Cai Ming: Damn, look how tired you are and how sweaty you are.

Guo Da: Yeah! !

Cai Ming: I won’t wipe off your sweat.

Guo Donglin: What’s going on? orchid! Uncle Guo.

Guo Da: Yeah,

Guo Donglin: Yeah.

Guo Da: You worked hard moving the cabbage!

Guo Donglin: It’s okay, it’s just a head job.

Guo Da: You accept this hundred yuan.

Guo Donglin: What is this?

Guo Da: Buy a train ticket and go back.

Guo Donglin: Damn!

Guo Da: Have a safe journey.

Guo Donglin: How can I use your money when I go back? I'm gone...where am I going? orchid!

Cai Ming: Hey.

Guo Da: Why are you back?

Guo Donglin: It’s okay, Lanhua.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Donglin: Let’s talk about something and go into the house.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: Enter the house? ! Stop, I'm telling you, Lanhua is a good girl, don't pester her again. This is a Chinese New Year, don’t get yourself injured.

Cai Ming: Uncle Guo, you don’t know.

Guo Da: Don’t say anything. I don’t know anything about the people who came here. You go out.

Guo Donglin: Uncle Guo, don’t be joking.

Guo Da: Get out!

Guo Donglin: What are you doing?

Guo Da: Get out! !

Guo Donglin: What are you doing! I came all the way to see my wife, why don’t I just say a few words to her?

Guo Da: What? Is it the daughter-in-law?

Guo Donglin: If you don’t believe it, ask her! Yes or no.

Cai Ming: I am not.

Guo Da: She said no. As soon as I looked at you, I could tell that you wanted to take advantage. At first glance, you don’t look like a good person!

Guo Donglin: Orchid.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: Don’t call her.

Guo Donglin: No, Uncle Guo.

Guo Da: Don’t call me.

Guo Donglin: What are you doing?

Guo Da: I, I will whip you...

Cai Ming: Uncle Guo, he is really my husband. His name is Gao Dali.

Guo Da: Didn’t you say he was called Duihuo? ah!

Cai Ming: Oops!

Guo Donglin: Against the fire, that was a joke made by the young couple.

Guo Da: Hehehehehehe...

Guo Donglin: What are you doing?

Guo Da: Fight the fire, no, no, powerful! Come on, come on, look at this, I got the wrong person. Treat you as a bad guy.

Guo Donglin: It’s okay.

Guo Da: Oh, look, you young man, at first glance, you don’t look like a good thing, but the more you look at it, the more you look like a good thing. Hehehe, look at how this child looks, he looks really... ah. There really aren't any serious flaws. Hahahaha! Oh, Orchid, why didn’t you tell me earlier? Oh, I understand, Dali is here to take you home for the New Year. You don’t want to leave, do you? Hey, you girl! Quickly pack up and go back with Dali. Let’s go! Did you hear that? If you don't leave, I'll be angry.

Cai Ming: Woo~~

Guo Donglin: What’s going on? orchid. What you just said was great, why are you crying? Orchid, orchid!

Cai Ming: I blame you. I didn't let you say it was my husband, so you did. All plans have been disrupted by you.

Guo Donglin: I don’t want to say it, but this Uncle Guo...

Guo Da: Orchid, hurry up and go back with Dali. It's okay, sir. Don't worry. Hahahaha

Cai Ming: Uncle, can I rest assured? You have just been discharged from the hospital, and the doctor said that no one should be allowed around you. If your child cannot come back abroad and has no relatives around him, who will wash his clothes? Who stews the meat? Who makes the dumplings? How do you spend this New Year alone? Uncle, although I am not your biological daughter, you are closer to me than your biological daughter. Can I leave my old man alone?

Guo Da: Good girl, Lanhua, but you just got married to Dali, and this is your first year as a member! The young couple cannot be separated.

Guo Donglin: Uncle Guo, stop talking.

Orchid, come here. My father brought this to you, and my mother brought this to you. Then I'll leave alone. Have a good New Year with Uncle Guo. obedient. Uncle Guo, I'll leave first. Lanhua will spend the New Year with you. It's okay. Please take care of yourself, I wish you a happy life. All the best to you.

Guo Da: Dali, come back. Orchid, Dali, you are back too. Do you think this is a good idea? Dali, if you don’t dislike me as a burden, I’ll go to the countryside with you to celebrate the New Year. Do you win?

Guo Donglin: What did you say?

Guo Da: No, forget it.

Guo Donglin (Cai Ming): Damn! Great!

Guo Da: Hahahaha, I haven’t been back to my hometown in decades. I just want to go back and take a look.

Guo Donglin: Pack up quickly and you can still catch the train.

Cai Ming: Hey!

Guo Donglin: Uncle Guo, great! The countryside has changed a lot now, the air is fresh, oh, it's so lively, and you can let cannons go off!

Guo Da: Yes, let’s get ready.

Guo Donglin: What are you preparing for! I have everything at home. Oh, let’s go!

Guo Da: That orchid.

Cai Ming: Yeah.

Guo Da: Let’s go home for the New Year.

Guo Donglin (Cai Ming): It’s time to go home for the New Year~!

I am the first, I hope you will adopt it