Just kidding,,,

When Mrs. Hans handed the check to the bank window, she said shyly, "I'm sorry, my husband's signature is a little difficult to read." I didn't expect him to be so scared when he saw me holding a pistol ... "

As a typist, I often help writers input manuscripts, and they pay me by check. Every time I get a check, I write the title on it to avoid confusion.

Once, I took a check to the bank to cash it. The cashier turned pale after reading the check.

Only then did I realize that the name of this book was Money or Death.

Working in a bank, I was actually angry and cried by my colleagues at work today.

Just as a customer withdrew money, he choked and said, "What business?" The customer replied: "Take 50,000."

Tears can't stop flowing, and the customer is busy saying, "No, no, I don't want it, so the money is saved."

I went to the bank yesterday and saw the clerk arguing with a girl.

After listening for a while, I finally understood that the girl took the card and took 2000.

I counted it and asked the salesman to put it back.

Then he said confidently, "this is the money that others paid me back."

I'll take it out first to see if it's fake, and then I'll put it in. ! "

There are many wonderful flowers every year.

After dinner, my wife and I are too lazy to wash the dishes.

I suggested, "Why don't we guess boxing? The loser washes! "

She shook her head and said shyly, "No, she's a lady. It's so rude to guess boxing!" " "

I thought about it and suggested, "Then let's guess coins!"

Then I took a coin out of my pocket.

Suddenly she raised her hand and slapped me:

"How dare you hide money!"

A female colleague came to work yesterday, as if she had just washed her hair and was still wet.

Long hair, I just said, you really look like Sadako. She asked Sadako who she was.

I said Sadako is the heroine of a Japanese movie. She said directly, rogue! !

I ... I don't think I'm wrong, do I

Boyfriend said to her, "I dreamed of you last night, and my underwear was wet in the morning."

She asked her boyfriend shyly, "Shit, what did you dream?"

The boyfriend replied, "I dreamed that you took off your makeup and scared me to pee!" " "

1, a leftover girlfriend is complaining about her mother again: "I have to date different men every weekend!" "

When you see any married young men in other people's homes, immediately ask if you are interested in knowing my daughter!

At that time, I thought my mother was like a pimp, and I was the lady she wanted to sell! "

After that, I sighed: "No wonder people say that there is an old family like a treasure." ……

Although I can understand your difficulties, that sentence is not so understandable!

I am a diaosi man. I took a bus once and didn't bring anything except 1 yuan.

Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way.

But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants:

"A big man go out without a penny, not a shame. -thief company. "

A MM sent a Weibo: "Mom and Dad, if I can't get married for a while, don't worry.

I guess it was sent by God at random. My boyfriend was a little lucky and was left behind ... "

An hour later, she logged into Weibo and found herself receiving hundreds of private messages:

"Dear, can you pay on delivery?"

"Honey, there is no reason to return it for seven days."

Today, my girlfriend's mobile phone is charging next to me! As soon as I see it, it rings, showing mom!

Say "fuck you" to her and give her the phone!

She thought I scolded her and said, "Fuck you!"

As a result, I took a look at my mobile phone! Another sentence, "It's really my mother!"

A 32-year-old woman finally has a 22-year-old boyfriend.

Facing the blessing, she lamented: I have a feeling of being old …

Six months after the breakup, the first phone call from my ex-girlfriend,

Let me help her solve a math problem.

I cried and she didn't even ask me how I was doing.

I cried after doing it for a while, because I couldn't do it either …

Landlord: "For so many years, I haven't seen boys and girls fight to win.

No matter who is right or wrong, it is the boys who finally admit their mistakes. "

According to Darwin's theory of evolution, boys used to quarrel and win.

Later, when I couldn't find a girlfriend, I became extinct. "

Today, I saw a female classmate's slogan:

Friends and colleagues are married, and she hasn't decided yet. Do you want to review yourself?

Out of comfort, I replied: Don't ask too many questions!

She replied: I even have a crush on you. Do you think I am demanding? ...

Comrades, should I do something …

2. At work, a male colleague teased the female colleague next to him.

The female colleague grabbed the ballpoint pen and hit it. As a result, this guy picked up the pen and refused to return it.

I am also happy to say that "meat buns hit dogs, and there is no return."

Suddenly there was applause.

My husband bought me a mobile phone. On the way back, I suddenly asked him, "This let your wife know, so you have to get more than one bargained for?" Who knows that my husband took my words and said, "Who told you not to build a big house, but to be a second house?" At this time, everyone next to us squinted at us. Not to be outdone, I said, "Don't you know that you are a little favored?"

4. One day, my husband was walking fast in front, and I shouted at the back, "Big Brother in front gave me a piece of change. I want to go home by car. " This shout, next to an uncle looked at me with strange eyes. My husband turned around with a strong accent, took out two coins and put them in my hand, saying, "I will reward them." The uncle next to me was completely blinded and kept watching me get on the bus.

One day, my husband and I made an appointment to meet at the gate of the park. When I arrived, I saw that he was already waiting for me. I pretended to be surprised and said, "Hey, where's your wife? Business trip? It happens that my husband is not here today. Go, come to my house tonight! " At this moment, an old lady next to her frowned and stared at us. ...

It is said that people who read and reprint posts will be happy for a lifetime, and I will be happy for a lifetime! So I turned around. What about you?

1, asked my husband if I have a small chest, and he said, "No, if you want to touch the A cup, you can touch your chest, if you want to touch the C cup, you can touch your ass, and if you want to touch the E cup, you can touch your stomach. You look good! " , decisive kick fly. ...

2. Last time I bought a quilt on Taobao, it was very comfortable to cover, so my husband gave me a good evaluation.

As a result, the second-rate husband wrote an evaluation: I slept at home several times this year. Since I bought this quilt, I feel uncomfortable not going home to sleep for a day. Good choice of quilt. The husband came home early.

I asked my brother-in-law how he knew his sister, and he said that he fell in love with his sister at first sight in the street.

At that time, my sister was chatting with a classmate whom I hadn't seen for a long time. The old classmate asked her for her mobile phone number.

Brother-in-law hid to eavesdrop and wrote it down. ...

The night before the wedding, my father-in-law said he would give you a gift. I saw it was a medical insurance card.

I said, no, what is this for?

My father-in-law said: mainly because I know my daughter is strong and hard-working. Here, you'll need it.

5. Wife: "Husband, who is the most beautiful, Lin Chi-ling or Liu Yifei?"

Husband: "Of course it's you, wife."

The wife smiled and asked, "Seriously, who is the most beautiful, Lin Chi-ling or Liu Yifei? To be honest, I am not angry. "

Husband: "You are the most beautiful, wife."

The wife looked very satisfied and asked, "Who is more beautiful, your ex-girlfriend or me?"

Husband: "You are so beautiful"

Wife: "You are paralyzed. Didn't you say I was your first love? "