Hakka marriage customs? Back to the door?

Hakka's "Huimen" is the first time for the bride to return to her family after entering the door. This custom is very common in China. The bride's first visit to her mother's house and her subsequent visit have completely different meanings, because the groom must accompany her to show her gratitude. What are you grateful for? Of course, Xie Yue's parents raised a good girl. Before marriage, the groom may not know the bride, for better or worse, until he unveils the veil, after the wedding night, and after cooking and doing something. I wonder how happy a groom will be if he passes these three levels and knows that his wife is a beautiful, virtuous, chaste, capable and sensible woman. It can be seen that returning to the door is a very important event for the son-in-law or the family.

"Huimen" in Hakka dialect is also called "Hui Hong". Generally, on the morning of the third day after marriage, the groom will accompany the bride with a pot of soup made of pork, chicken and eggs to Yue's home. Some places also have rules for sending pigs. But before, Hakka women were most afraid of this. According to the local tradition, women's chastity is particularly important, which is also the legacy of the ancient "first night right". Therefore, before a woman gets married, she must prepare a white handkerchief (or handkerchief) for her first night in private. The next day, the veil will be hung out of the hall for all relatives and friends to see. If the veil is stained with bright red virgin evidence, not only will the man's family feel glorious and decent, but all relatives and friends will also feel very happy. On the day of "Three Dynasties Returning to the Door", the male family will send the bride back to her family to congratulate with a pig's head written with "Three Sacrifices" and let the female family eat pig's head meat. If there is no bright red evidence on the veil (or if there is no veil), the man's house will suddenly be boring and the bride will find it hard to argue. Then the pig head went back to the door and disappeared (or didn't go back to the door because he was unhappy). It's nothing to eat one less pig, but her family has a bad reputation. Therefore, whether the bride has a pig's head when she comes home has become a big problem. It is not so much that the man's family is serious about this matter as that of the woman's family. Since her daughter got married, her family has been anxiously waiting for her to return to China. If she sees her daughter carrying a pig's head home, it will be a stone falling to the ground.

Daughter and son-in-law are very particular about returning to China. The son-in-law has to sit on the table, and his grandparents can only accompany him. Mother-in-law has to steam a bowl of wine and eggs for her son-in-law herself. This is the only VIP treatment for Yue's son-in-law. Because he is the guest of honor, relatives and friends at home come to propose a toast to show the gift of being the guest of honor, so he often gets drunk. Another reason is that women are afraid of men "winning" (also called "winning words" in local Hakka dialect: boasting and laughing at each other's incompetence), so they handle drinking carefully, invite more people who can drink well to accompany them, and try their best to get the groom drunk (naturally limited).

According to the regulations, the daughter can't stay at home for the night and must return on the same day. At this time, the man was slightly drunk, his wife was beside him, his eyes were slightly angry, and his face was shy, while the man was more and more reluctant to go, his eyes were drunk with spring, and a couple hugged each other and whispered all the way. Momosuo turned to go home and had a charm.

On the first Spring Festival after marriage, the bride and her husband must go to their parents' home to visit their in-laws, uncles and aunts. My husband is a "stranger", also known as a "new guest". The etiquette is very grand, and we will stay for three days and three nights. As the saying goes, "the new uncle bargained and slept for three days and nights." During the time when I was a stranger, except for my mother-in-law who made wine mother's eggs for my son-in-law, there were almost five meals every day, and at most six or seven meals. In addition to breakfast, lunch and dinner, the morning is over, the noon is over (also called tea), and the afternoon is full, and some nights are even served with supper. In addition, the family, neighbors, relatives and friends nearby of the woman's family will take turns to invite them, which is cumbersome and extremely hospitable. Hakka people pay attention to the word "full" when eating. For example, you must eat two of the three eggs (the rules require that you be polite and leave them to underage children), and at the same time eat a "full bowl" (eggs and pork such as yellow rice preserves or shredded pork and dried noodles). ) ask the groom to eat it all. Drinking water usually uses bowls. The more you eat, the happier your boss will be and think you are respected. If you don't eat or eat less, you will think you are disgusted and offended. New son-in-law often can't stand it. He must know how to evade or play tricks, especially in drinking, and he must play a little trick so that he can't be found by the other party. The only thing he can't stand is to rely on his parents, brothers or other in-laws to get rid of his feelings.

After becoming a new guest, there is another important etiquette when you leave, that is, inviting your parents-in-law to your son-in-law's house. When the two families met, the two in-laws got back together and boasted about their friendship.