Tell jokes when you are sick.

An ant and a white rabbit were walking in the forest when they suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh ... don't make a sound, and watch me trip it to death. ! ! !

(2) A patient who had an operation for the first time anxiously said to the doctor, "I'm scared. This is my first operation. " The doctor said I was more afraid: "This is my first operation, too."

(3) Once upon a time, a man named A Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, A Shuang's family cried painfully: A Shuang ... A Shuang ... A Shuang.

A passerby passed by here, and the passerby was puzzled: everyone is dead. What are you happy about?

Hearing this question, A Shuang's family felt even more distressed: Shuang, ... cool ... cool ... cool ... cool ... cool ... cool ... cool.

Xiao Ming saw a lump of poop on the ground and went up to smell it.

Put a little in your hand and taste it in your mouth. It seems to be poop. He said happily, "It's a good thing I didn't step on it."

5] The centipede was bitten by a snake and sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. After the doctor diagnosed, he said: In order to prevent the spread of virus liquid, it must be amputated!

The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs!

The doctor consoled: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future.

[6] Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their buttons behind them to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.

When the police arrived, ...

Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.

Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.

Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.

Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around.

Officer A: Well, I'm not breathing. ....

Once a college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me!

The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

⑻ A woman took the train, her period came, and there was no place to return the sanitary napkins ... In desperation, she opened the window and went out! Just hit a farmer's face, and the farmer touched his face and said after reading it. .

I use a fork. .. the train is fast. If I get another piece of paper, I'll be covered in blood! ! ! !

Hua Mulan joined the army. . . One day during the war, my period came, and I was about to change sanitary napkins when suddenly a shell came. She passed out. . . .

When she woke up, she was already on the operating table. . . . The doctor said. Are you okay? ! ! ! "Mulan said," what's the matter? I'm fine. ".。 . .

"It's nothing. . Is it okay if the penis is blown away? ! ! "

The doctor said, "But it's all right now!" Mulan said, "What's the matter?" . . "Let me sew it on for you! ! ~ "said the doctor.

Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called early and said that she would come home at night to celebrate my birthday and give me a surprise! Hear the good news! I worked hard today and ran a dozen customers! Back to the company. It is three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only one miserable dish and one soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach was growling, so he had to order a big plate of fried three beans with meat and a big pot of radish soup to eat! Unexpectedly, after work, my stomach is like the engine of a cross-country jeep! Started a violent piston movement! In a flash, puffs of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to a place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly in embarrassment, but immediately it became a rapid-fire puff! My stomach is so swollen! Just then, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home, and asked me to go home quickly. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see my embarrassment! …

On the way home, I deliberately tried to fart a lot. Almost home, my stomach feels much better. I think there should be no more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looks a little excited. She shouted, "honey, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you."

Before entering the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth and said that she would give me a surprise! He took me to a chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I want to fart again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfold and made me swear! Then I ran to the other room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, put all my weight on one leg and let my fart out. This fart not only rings, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it hard to get rid of the bad smell.

Just when my mood improved, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and the smell is even worse this time. In order not to suffocate myself, I fanned the chair cushion with my arm, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

When everything is about to return to normal, another fart can't wait to come. So I stood up, bent down, pursed my ass and leaned back! Let it out. This fart is really first-class, and even the newspapers behind it are blown to the ground. ....

I listened to my girlfriend's voice in the other room, and I was afraid to open the blindfold because I had to keep my promise not to peek. I just kept farting in the dark, in order to quickly expel all the gas in my stomach without making the room worse! I unbuttoned my trousers, dropped my underwear and pants below my stomach, exposed my ass, groped for the balcony door behind me, almost extended my whole ass to the balcony, and began to fart wildly ............................................................................................................................ Much better! After that, I danced and fanned the cushions all over the room, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly ... In this way, I kept farting and fanning the cushions for the next ten minutes. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants and arranged my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to give me an elegant smile.

When she approached, I had a satisfied smile and warm eyes on my face. My girlfriend first apologized for taking so long to call me, and then asked me if I had secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend took off the cloth that covered my eyes and said to me, "What a surprise! My girlfriend insisted that I bring them to see you today. They say you are very graceful and handsome in the photo! Here! You see, the five people sitting at the table are my good sisters, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! "

At this time, I was extremely shocked and horrified to find that there were a lot of girls sitting on the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to this birthday party that surprised me very much. Now, every one of them looks at me with an indescribable expression on his face, just like finding a Martian ...] I agree.