Two jokes about soldiers

General (to soldier A): What do you think the motherland is?

Soldier A: Report, my motherland is my mother.

General: Good! (To Soldier B) What do you mean by motherland?

Soldier B: It is reported that the motherland is the mother of Soldier A. ..

......

An infantryman who has experienced many wars and won many medals has retired. As soon as he returned to the city, his friend introduced him to a girlfriend, so they made an appointment. Before he went out, his friends gave him a lot of advice: "You may have experienced a lot in the war, but there are some things you should listen to me." First, open the door for your girlfriend after getting off the bus; Second, you should help your girlfriend behind the chair when she is seated. Third, you should look at her warmly when she speaks; Fourth, you must do what she needs first, not let her do it. "The infantry said he remembered, so he left.

The next day, a friend called to ask the infantry how it was last night. The infantry said in dismay, "I have no hope!" " "

So a friend asked him, "Did you forget to open the door for her?"

The infantry said, "No, I opened the door for her, and she was very happy!" " "

The friend asked again, "Did you forget to help her sit down?"

The infantry said, "No, I'll help her sit down. She said I was a gentleman! " "

So the friend asked again, "Were you looking around when she spoke?"

The infantry said, "No, I've been watching her. She said I was gentle and charming! " "

Finally, the friend asked, "Did you let her do something by herself?"

The infantry said gloomily, "If only it were like this. When we got home, she said she was thirsty, so I ran to buy her materials. . . "The friend said," That's good! "

The infantry added, "But out of years of habit, as soon as I opened the drink can, I threw it at her and hid myself in the grass. . . "