Today is June 1 day, and I need a joke to entertain me.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman taking a bath in our private place ... There was a frog in the water ~ ~ Only a black hole was seen ~ ~ The frog was very tired and got in ... Later, which woman had a stomachache and went to the hospital for examination ... The doctor cut open his stomach ... I saw a frog ... There was a suicide note next to the frog ... I saw that it said, "Since I live in this black hole ...

There is a girl who is usually strictly controlled by her mother. I was once asked by my boyfriend to go to the movies. When I was about to go out, my mother said to me, "Be smart when you go out. Don't be taken advantage of by men. He touches you and you say no, you sculpt you and you say stop. " The girl said she remembered. When she came back in the evening, her mother asked her if she had been taken advantage of. The girl cried and said, "Yes, he touched me up and down, and I will do as you taught me: don't stop, don't stop."

A man came back from a business trip and caught his wife sleeping with his neighbor's husband. He knocked on the door next door angrily and said to the neighbor's wife, "Your husband is having an affair with my wife." "It's ridiculous. We must take revenge. " The neighbor's wife pulled him into the room, took off his clothes and started a fierce * *. Soon, they lay in bed and rested. After a few minutes, the neighbor's wife said, "What happened? Let's get even again! In this way, he retaliated four times in a row. When the neighbor's wife asked for a fifth revenge, the man staggered to his feet and said, "Forget it! I don't hate them anymore ....

Women are too ugly to marry. Hoping to be trafficked. Finally, one day the dream came true. But it didn't sell for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back. She has made up her mind. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

The prisoner was shot. Because of the poor quality of the bullet, the first shot didn't go off ... then the second shot ... the third shot ... This is, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, Brother, you strangle me, which is really fucking scary.

One man is unmarried and one woman is unmarried. They were introduced by the matchmaker. The man introduced himself: one gun, two eggs, no war of resistance for 38 years. Woman: One window, two doors. I haven't been in there for 26 years. The matchmaker said, * * idiot

Wife: My husband gave me money.

Husband: money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

Wife: Then buy me a diamond ring!

Husband: Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

Wife: Then I'll find another one!

Husband: That won't do! There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

Wife: I tell you, water can carry a boat!

Husband: Yes! Yes! Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

Wife: Try it if you don't believe me!

Husband: Fire can test gold, gold can test women, women can test men, and you can test me.

Wife: Then you are not satisfied!

Husband: Take it? Even if I am drunk, I won't help anyone, so I will hold the wall!

Wife: I don't think you have achieved anything in this life!

Husband: I am a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future and no way out.

Wife: Oh, my God! How did I fall in love with you!

Husband: To ask what the world is, everything has its vanquisher.

Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! I will kill you if I don't tell you! " ? Female employee: "Don't say it! Kill me and don't say anything! Even if you spoil me, I won't tell you! ! "？ The robber looked the female staff up and down and scolded, "You want to be beautiful!" "

In the evening, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

A leader slept with a young lady after getting drunk. The phone rang, and the young lady answered the phone: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is drunk, please dial again tomorrow!" " "The next day, the leader's wife cursed:" How much wine did you drink yesterday? China Mobile knows it. . .

The father took his son to take a bath, and the ground was slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals and didn't fall.

Father scolds: Shit! It's a good thing that you came with me. You must come with your mother to kill you.

One day, an old nun was unwell and asked a little nun to take a urine sample to the hospital for examination. It's a pity that I was hit by a woman halfway and peed all over the floor. Little nun doesn't know what to do. The woman said, "It's just urine. I'll pay you some money. " The little nun also thought about it and said, "Good!" !

The test report came out, and the old nun was pregnant! So the old nun sighed, "Animals are unreliable these days, even vegetables are unreliable?"

The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. His father said, let go, there is no meat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night!

A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, eat cucumber and pull watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

The old man took the train and mistakenly put his foot into a young lady's compartment on the other side during the night break. After a few days, he felt itchy and uncomfortable. The doctor diagnosed syphilis, and the old man even called it rare. The doctor said, what is this? Yesterday came a B athlete's foot man!

On Sunday, a lady was sitting on the bus with a bottle of fresh milk in her hand. When the bus arrived at a big station, there were more and more people, and it was so crowded that it was hard to breathe ... Soon the fresh milk taken by the young lady was crowded with stockings. The young lady was furious: yuck! ! Don't squeeze! You've milked her.

Couples live with young children in the middle of the night. Suddenly, they found that their son was missing and went to find him at once. The husband said, come back quickly, it's windy behind the door. The son said angrily, don't lie, there is wind in the bed!

A girl lives with a blind mother. One day, the girl and her lover were secretly in the back room. The groan alarmed her mother and asked her why. She replied that she had heatstroke. When her mother came in to visit, her lover was busy getting up from the girl and standing against the wall. Her mother tried to touch her forehead, but she held her lover's penis by mistake. She was frightened and said, it's so hot that the children on the wall are sweating.

A soldier disguised as a man went to war. One day on the battlefield, her period suddenly came and her ass was red. The company commander asked, where are you hurt? The female soldier quickly said: no ... nothing. The company commander took off his pants and was surprised: * * flew away without saying anything?

A lady ordered a stir-fried whip flower while eating, and accidentally fell between her legs when picking vegetables. The young lady was shocked: this thing is really amazing! Cooked and chopped, it's still familiar!

On the bus, a young man saw a beautiful woman with a low collar and spring leaked out. He joked,' It's really a place where peach blossoms bloom.' Hearing this, the beauty lifted her skirt and said,' There is still room for you to have children and raise me!

A gentleman was drunk and accidentally threw up in the ladies' room. It happened that a woman was urinating, and a gentleman was angry and said,' You said you didn't drink, why did you pour wine? The woman stopped suddenly, but she didn't expect to hold her breath. You were furious:' Who the fuck opened another bottle! '

When a gangster broke into a house and raped a woman, he met with fierce resistance. The husband came back from other places and saw his wife being held down by gangsters. He swung a shovel and slapped her angrily. He heard her scold, "damn it, I resisted for a long time and you photographed me with a shovel."

In today's biology exam, there is a question for us to "draw the female reproductive organs".

On the way to the exam, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a girl looking between her legs.

I shouted loudly: "old teacher ~ she ~ cheated!" " She copied and answered the case! ! "