Story and joke text of big mouth fish

There is a child who has been close to his master since childhood. His master is full of bad water. One day, I taught my child to say, "Son, when you go home and see someone's family, don't say anything else, just say to him," I know the truth! "I believe that the child learned is good for you. As soon as I came home and saw his mother, I stepped forward and said, I know the truth. His mother turned pale and quickly took out fifty dollars to the child and told him, "Baby, don't tell your father. Mom gave fifty dollars to take the flowers away. "I saw his father again soon, and he said, I know the truth! Without saying anything, his father took out 200 yuan and put it in the child's hand. He also told the children: Don't tell mom! The child thinks he is rich now. Found a way to get rich. Everyone who saw it said that I knew the truth. As a result, one day I saw the messenger from the front post office come to their house, and the child came forward and said, I know the truth. Hearing this, the messenger cried and said, "Good son, daddy hug! "!

The doctor in the mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered. Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital? Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones. After hearing this, the doctor found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. After a few months, the doctor felt that the patient seemed to be able to leave the hospital, so he decided to talk to him again. Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital? Patient: Get a job. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Making money. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Save money. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Marry a wife. Doctor: Then what? Patient: The bridal chamber. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her clothes. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her pants. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her underwear. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take out the rubber band on your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital. One day, a man was sitting in a bar, staring blankly at his drink. At this moment, a truck driver came over and drank his drink upside down. The man burst into tears. The truck driver quickly said, "What's the big deal? I'll buy you a drink later. " The man sobbed and said, "No, today is my worst day." This morning, my alarm clock was broken and I was late for work. My boss flew into a rage and fired me. Just as I was about to go home, I found my car stolen, and the police said there was nothing they could do. So I took a taxi home. When I got home, I left my wallet in the taxi and the driver drove away. When I got home, I found that my wife was having an affair with the gardener, so I came here to try to commit suicide. At this time, you appeared and drank all my poison. "There is a lady who wants to ask for marriage online. His marriage is very demanding. So she searched the website "handsome with a car" and gave the answer:' chess (is it handsome with a car? If this lady doesn't give up, she is laying the foundation: "Be calm and feel safe". Search the website and give the answer: "Altman (cool, safe! The lady is still lying down: "If you want a house, you need money. "Search the website and give the answer:' Bank (with room and money! The lady didn't believe that she couldn't find a man, so she entered all the previous conditions into the website search: "Be handsome, want a car, be cool, feel safe, have a house and be rich." The website searched for a while and finally gave the answer: "Altman plays chess in the bank!" " The lady fainted after reading it!

The cleanest person: 0 Sister: Brother, you are the cleanest person I have ever met. Xiao Xin: I'm flattered. How do you know that? Sister: Anyway, you totally push.

Having a child, then having a father: The son asked, "Why can only say that the son is like the father, but not the father?" Dad said, "I ask you, do you have a father or a son first?" "Of course, there is a son first, then a father." The son said confidently, "You became my father after my mother gave birth to me!" " "

One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you is going to the orchard to choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian in his arms ... "