8 ways to teach you how to deal with the second grade phenomenon that drives parents crazy

8 Ways

Teach you how to deal with the phenomenon in the second grade of junior high school that drives parents crazy

Children were originally very obedient, but after entering the second grade of junior high school, they suddenly seemed to have changed. Like a person, he always contradicts whatever his parents tell him, and sometimes just ignores them.

The mid-term exam results have improved this time. My mother wanted to take this opportunity to communicate with her child, but she did not expect her child’s reaction to be speechless

Mom: Son, you are awesome. Your grades are good this time. Mom is proud of you! What do you want to eat at night? Mom will cook it for you?

Zi: You can eat anything.

Mom: Your grades have improved during this period, which shows that as long as you have confidence, you will definitely succeed. Son, you are the best!

Son: What is the best? I know best about myself. I am the best at everything. I'll take a nap first, I'm so sleepy.

Mom: Go ahead, I’ll call you for dinner later. Hey, can you be among the top 10 in the class this time?

Taiwan: Mom, don’t ask.

Mom: .....

I have heard similar complaints many times. It is not a coincidence that the protagonists of the story are all second grade students. This is actually very common." "The second grade phenomenon"!

#1

What is the "second grade phenomenon"

Junior high school students are in the period of "physical and mental fusion", especially the second grade students. Apparently, American psychologist Hollingworth calls it the "psychological weaning period." Some people also believe that the second grade of junior high school is the "most dangerous" stage in the entire middle school period. Students in the second grade of junior high school are the most difficult to manage, which is called the "second grade phenomenon."

The Chinese Academy of Education Sciences targeted one student in six provinces across the country. A survey of more than 20,000 families of junior high school students in the city shows that most parents in the second grade of junior high school fail to adopt appropriate methods to deal with the changes in their children, both in terms of parent-child relationships and education methods. Every parent will encounter the "second grade phenomenon"

#2

The focus of the "second grade phenomenon"

1. Puppy love

The director of the Education Department of a middle school said that the phenomenon of puppy love is mainly concentrated in the second grade of junior high school. Students joke unscrupulously among themselves, and some boys and girls act too intimately.

2. Internet surfing

In junior high school, second-year students use the Internet the most, especially boys. Some of them spend almost every free time in Internet cafes playing games. When they are hungry, they go to Internet cafes. Some even skip classes and surf the Internet instead of eating instant noodles.

3. Decline in academic performance In terms of learning, the second grade of junior high school is a watershed. Some students are afraid of difficulties and use their minds other than studying. Their grades drop rapidly, they lose interest in learning, they give up on themselves, and they never recover. It is often difficult for such students to make breakthroughs in their third year of junior high school, and failure in the high school entrance examination is inevitable.

4. Serious rebellious psychology

Another characteristic of junior high school students is their disobedience to discipline. Some students no longer accept criticism from teachers and parents humbly, but refute, contradict, and even laugh at their teachers. The more parents and teachers do not allow them to do something, the more energetic they will be, and they must go against their teachers

3

Why is there a "second grade phenomenon"

1. Physiological factors

The age of second-year junior high school students is basically around 14 years old, and they have entered puberty. Both boys and girls have undergone many eye-catching changes in their bodies. Adolescent students are shy and curious about the opposite sex. The curiosity and desire to explore brought about by sexual maturity in adolescence promote the development of adolescents' sexual consciousness. How to understand love, deal with the affection for the opposite sex, and sexual behavior. These issues require the guidance of parents and teachers. However, because parents and society adopt a closed-door attitude toward sex knowledge education and are even ashamed to talk about it, students have troubles in adolescence.

2. Study pressure

Although there is no pressure to enter a higher school in the second grade of junior high school, compared with the knowledge in the first grade of junior high school, the knowledge content in the second grade of junior high school is much deeper and more difficult. Students are facing greater challenges in learning. Some students are afraid of difficulties and feel that learning is difficult. They cannot understand or keep up in class, and thus lose interest in learning. This is also an important reason for the polarization of learning among second-grade students.

3. Psychological factors

The psychology of students in the second grade of junior high school begins to undergo major changes. Children in primary school are innocent and simple. They generally listen to teachers and parents, are well-behaved, and follow the rules. After entering junior high school, I felt unfamiliar with the new campus and study life at first, and I consciously abide by discipline.

After entering the second grade of junior high school, my psychology began to undergo major changes. Adolescent children think that their bodies have matured and their psychology has matured. They think they know everything, so they long for independent space. They are not used to the constraints and discipline of teachers and parents, and are particularly rebellious towards their parents

Another psychological characteristic of second-year junior high school students is that they don’t care about anything on the surface. In fact, they have a strong herd mentality. They want to be unique but also worry about breaking away from the group. As a result, some students develop unhealthy mental states such as nervousness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Due to the imbalance between psychological development and physiological development, there will be varying degrees of antagonism and bad behaviors such as avoidance, lying, destruction, and violence.

#4

How to judge the "second grade phenomenon"

1. Are you estranged from your children? After entering the second grade of junior high school, some students begin to Refuting and contradicting teachers: Some students have varying degrees of rebelliousness, confrontational emotions, and even make troubles, which naturally affects the parent-child relationship in adolescence.

2. Are your children still willing to talk to you? Children entering adolescence gradually regard classmates and friends as the first choice for confiding their concerns. A second-year junior high school student said: "When I talk to my parents about some topics, such as celebrities and TV series, my parents not only don't understand them, but they also criticize me for not doing my job properly. If it's not convenient for me to say it out, I just write it myself and lock it in my diary."

3. Are you more concerned about your child's psychology or their studies? Many second-grade students attribute learning problems to objective factors, such as increased difficulty in learning. But parents tend to attribute it to their children’s subjective factors. The two attributions to learning problems are obviously different.

This kind of inconsistent understanding of learning problems will naturally lead to many parent-child conflicts

4. Do your children often contradict you? The survey found: When facing parental pressure At that time, the proportion of students in the second grade of junior high school who chose to "resist their parents" was the highest. When parents and children hold different views on something, 47.22% of the second grade students choose to "argue hard and convince their parents"; and when their children do not agree with their parents' ideas, more than half of the parents will "discuss with their children" (about 30%) Parents will "try every way to convince him"

#5

What should parents do about the "second grade phenomenon"

1. Be a tasteful parent

Regard people as friends, requiring children to try their best to make friends with classmates whose conduct and learning are similar to themselves, and to learn more from classmates who are better than themselves.

2. Be a parent who is good at communication

With tacit cooperation, nothing can be accomplished. Communicate frequently with the class teacher or teacher about your child’s education. Educate children to learn to solve problems independently and dare to express their own requirements and ideas to school teachers and leaders. Do not always leave conflicts and problems to parents.

3. Be a positive, not negative parent who believes that your child’s future is bright. Look for the child's shining points and progress points, give more praise, encourage more, and supervise more. Don’t say anything that dampens your children’s enthusiasm, and don’t dwell on their children’s mistakes

4. Be a parent who understands some dialectics

Internal factors are the basis for change, and external factors are the conditions for change. Let children understand a truth: the first factor in learning well is oneself.