How annoying is it for a couple to marry an "iron rooster" because of a quarrel over 800 yuan's holiday expenses?

China is a personal society and always pays attention to etiquette.

There is a saying that reciprocity, especially on holidays, is to buy some new year's goods to visit relatives.

Otherwise, you will go home empty-handed, and neither side will look good.

Gifts pay attention to timing and friendship. Those who are close will send good things, and those who are far away may send away a box of milk and a box of fruit.

In fact, during the Chinese New Year, gifts are not so important because more people go out to visit. Usually, I just give some money to my elders, and other relatives are alive to give it.

However, it must be pointed out that these conventions are a burden for young people. They often have very little money in their hands. They should not only give gifts during the Spring Festival, but also give lucky money to their younger generation, which is not a small expense.

Therefore, some families quarreled over the "Chinese New Year expenses", which turned a beautiful festive day into a farce.

0 1 "My family's tradition is to give money without giving gifts, and he can't bear it."

Wang Miao never thought that he married a miser.

Seeing that the Chinese New Year is coming, she doesn't even dare to go back to her family, for fear that her husband will lose his face in front of his parents and make everyone lose face.

It turned out that as the festival approached, Wang Miao considered giving gifts to his family and discussed with her husband how much to give.

The husband wondered, "What gifts should I give before marriage and after marriage?" ? Too formalistic. "

Wang Miao said, "Our family usually doesn't give gifts after marriage, but only gives money. My married cousins basically give their parents 800 yuan. Do you think it's appropriate? Count us together. "

"800 yuan? Are you out of your mind? Just buy some fruit and take it with you. Why spend so much money? "

Wang Miao smell speech didn't speak, the in the mind very not taste, she thought, a few days ago, her husband bought a coat for her mother-in-law, spent nearly two thousand yuan, saying it was a New Year gift.

Now that I'm at her parents' place, I'm not willing to give 800 yuan.

She said, "Is 800 a lot? I don't go back several times a year. My mother still delivers delicious food to our family all day. It is too difficult to understand that it is filial to give some money during the Chinese New Year holiday. "

The husband has his own set of plans. He thinks that the money was lost because he didn't have much money in his hand. On holidays, colleagues often get together and have spent a lot.

In addition, it cost a lot of money to buy clothes and hats for my mother a few days ago. If I hand over this 800 yuan again, it will be even harder. He thinks he can save it. Anyway, everyone is a family, so it won't be embarrassing to give less.

Objectively speaking, this is a typical favoritism. When a man buys something for his mother, he pays for it himself and transfers it to his wife, considering both economy and human feelings.

In short, I just don't want to give it, and there is no other reason.

02 "The quarrel said that I was too greedy. I have never been greedy since I got married. "

Wang Miao was very angry, quarreled with her husband, and shook off her mother-in-law's clothes until her husband was flushed.

"You are too greedy, love to compare, I bought clothes for my mother, and you have to give money to my mother. What? I owe it to your family. Your cousins give money to their parents for the holidays. How can you be so vain? "

When her husband didn't understand Wang Miao at first sight, he put a big hat of "vanity" on her.

I was so angry that Wang Miao slammed the door and sat at a friend's house all afternoon, just to relieve the depression in his heart.

She said, "If I were greedy, I wouldn't just want to spend 800 yuan for the holidays. I should let him buy me a big house instead of living in the old shack left by my in-laws.

If I were greedy, I would have asked him for tens of thousands of bride price. How can I persuade my parents to keep everything simple and stop comparing at the wedding?

If I am greedy, I can give birth to a child when I just got married with him at a young age, and the statement of quitting my job with a monthly salary of several thousand yuan is unambiguous.

He also called me greedy. If I am really vain, I can marry him. Ask him what I have been greedy for since I got married. I am not greedy for anything. "

Wang Miao was heartbroken and thought that her husband had wronged her, and her married life was very difficult. Now even the face she should have during the Chinese New Year holiday is not as good as others. Naturally, she is not happy in her heart.

"My parents are old and have nothing to pursue, just saving face. Usually, when old people sit together, they will definitely compare their children. If I don't give a point, or give less than others, my parents' faces will definitely be laughed at. "

Wang Miao has his own considerations. After all, in traditional festivals, some comparisons are inevitable, and biting one's teeth to achieve the same standards as others is also to avoid embarrassing the elderly.

It's a pity that her husband doesn't understand her good intentions, or he does, and he just wants to treat his parents differently.

She was very disappointed with her husband and had a cold war for several days.

Young couples should pay attention to the basic "fairness" when dealing with two families from different backgrounds.

The contradiction between Wang Miao and her husband also exists in many newly-married families.

During the Chinese New Year holiday, the gifts given by the daughter-in-law to her husband's family are often heavier, while the gifts given by the son-in-law to her father-in-law are lighter.

Even the tradition of Chinese New Year is the same. On New Year's Eve, the woman goes to the man's house for the New Year, and rarely the other way around.

In fact, there are more only children now, and equality between men and women is emphasized. There's really no need to be too biased. A flat bowl of water will neither cool parents' hearts nor hurt each other's hearts.

The holiday fee of 800 yuan, said less, said more is really not much, is nothing more than a filial piety to parents, there is no need to make it a straw to crush marriage.

Being stingy with 800 yuan seems to save money, but in fact it loses the trust of your partner, the responsibility as a husband and the gratitude to your parents.

In short, be tolerant and generous, don't let partiality turn into greed, and don't let a beautiful marriage turn into a place of calculation.

You know, life is a firework of daily necessities, not a vanity fair, and friendship and filial piety should be counted less.