A little joke for your girlfriend.

A little joke for his girlfriend. When a boy pursues a girl he likes, if he wants to make her happy, he can collect more jokes that usually make girls happy, so that when boys and girls are together, they can tell them to girls at any time. Now share a little joke about telling your girlfriend. Let's have a look.

A short joke for my girlfriend 1 1 "I'm so sad and feel redundant." "Why, you are handsome and rich, humorous and gentle, and nice, how can you be redundant?" Because I contracted a fish pond. "

Young people should choose new year cards for his fiancee. "This picture is very suitable, very beautiful. It says: Bless my only sweetheart! " The salesgirl gave him an idea. "That's great! Give me a dozen. "

When my girlfriend saw her boyfriend coming to kiss her, she blocked her face and said, "No, you can't do this before you get married!" The boyfriend smiled and said, "Well, I can wait. Now I'll give you my phone number. Please tell me after you get married. "

4. A teenager in Seeds of Love wants to buy a lipstick for his girlfriend. The clerk asked him what color he wanted. He took out his handkerchief, pointed to the lip print on it and said, What a big color! "

When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and one tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone laughed in bed.

6. The young woman coaxed the child, slept with your grandfather at night, and the child didn't leave. The young woman said, I will go if you don't go. Grandpa said seriously that educating children should be honest. You can't fool children and old people.

7. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and hugs. She put one foot in front, and the man cried and said, it's the third piece. Who did I piss off? It's too difficult to take a piece of glass home.

8. Early this morning, a mouse strayed into a flower shop and was chased by a cat. The mouse found that there was no way out, so he picked up the roses and prepared to resist. The cat saw it lowered its head and said with shame, you damn fool, it's so sudden!

9. The car married the train, but it won't be long before it gets divorced. Everyone is curious. So I asked them why. The car said, "It worries all day that I will be damaged." As for me, I worry about cheating every day. "

Little jokes for girlfriends and lovers

1, 9 said to 3, except you, it's still you. What a romantic number. For you, I think there is a number tailored for you. This magic number is 4, except 2, it is still 2!

2. The white rabbit Q B ran after Big Wolf, and Big Wolf was filled with indignation and chased after him. Rabbits dress up as gray rabbits with mud and read newspapers with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit of the strong wolf? Wolf Shame: Did it appear in the newspaper so soon?

3. The monitor asked: Who is the largest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who's under the teacher? The recruit replied: The teacher rode the horse.

Xiao Li in the office said to Xiao Zhang, "I'll tell you good news and bad news, which should I listen to first?" Xiao Zhang: "Bad news." Xiao Li: "The good news I want to say is false." . "

5. However, if it grows to 1cm, you have to replace the iPhone 4s with the iPhone 5. You should be glad that your girlfriend doesn't have the same idea.

6, don't ask me how much I love you, run to the sun to bask in the sun, the sun represents my feelings; Don't ask me how long I have loved you. Looking up at the lonely starry sky. The moon represents my heart!

8. In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……

10. Look at the girl across the street. The seed of lonely boy's love needs you to give me some love.

Husband and wife articles

When the wife is angry: once I accidentally made my wife cry, but I couldn't coax her. Wife: Get out of here, 555. Get out of here Me: Wife, no one bullied you after I left. Wife: I didn't ask you to roll straight, roll back and forth, roll back and forth!

About the power-on password: My wife learned to set the power-on password for the computer. Me: What is the wife's power-on password? Wife: Your birthday. I entered the wrong display, and I lost the lunar calendar several times, but it was still wrong. Me: The password is wrong. Wife: You are so stupid. Let me do it. Then the wife came in: Ni Shengri showed off in an ostentatious manner on the keyboard.

About rounding the whole number: I have 1800 yuan in my wallet. Wife: Let me give you an integer. Me: OK. Then she took 800. .

About buying clothes: Wife: Husband, I took a fancy to that brand of clothes last time, and it's almost the New Year. I haven't bought much clothes recently. I only bought a few sets a week, and they are not enough to wear. It is said that clothes make the man, I dress well, and I will have face when I take it out ... (omit the N word) Husband: Get to the point. Wife: 3000!

About the beginning: My wife chased me at first. Wife: Handsome boy, do you have a girlfriend? Husband: Yes. Wife: Would you mind changing it? Husband: Yes. Wife: Would you mind another drink? Husband: ... I don't mind. So she became my wife.

About being fooled: read the newspaper in the living room after breakfast and ask your wife: Did you wash the dishes? The wife said seriously, honey, you have to ask, honey, let me help you wash the dishes! Then I'll say, honey, it's already washed. How nice … So, husband: Baby, let me help you with the dishes! Wife: OK, go ahead.

About physical strength: watching TV with my wife. I snorted with hunger. Wife: Honey, are you hungry? The husband moved and nodded. The wife said sadly, honey, if you are hungry, go to sleep first. Sitting is a waste of energy.

A little joke for girlfriend 3 1. In a large class in a kindergarten, the teacher asked the children to ask questions, and everyone asked them one by one. A child kept his hand in the air, but when it was his turn to ask questions, he put it down. The teacher asked him, "What's the matter? You waited so long, why did you put your hand down when it was your turn to speak? " The child replied, "It's too late, it's already wet."

2, evening self-study back to the dormitory, Lu Yu fairy mm one day, and then follow. I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I didn't have the courage to go forward until fairy mm was about to enter the girls' building. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward to ask mm loudly: Excuse me, classmate, are you a woman? Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

Summer is hot and boring. Fortunately, the bathroom in the girls' building faces the boys' building, because the dormitory opposite is occupied by girls. As a result, the binoculars in the stationery store near the college were out of stock. Girls are not stupid, and soon, the department store curtains near the college are out of stock. College leaders expressed their concerns. In the second semester, all the girls across the street moved out, and all the girls in the hospital lived in the newly-built girls' dormitory area. However, after the new girls' dormitory area, there is a new boys' dormitory area that will be completed soon. So, a few days later, posters were posted in front of the nearby shops: we have a new batch of advanced telescopes and extra-thick curtains, and the prices are favorable.

On a hot summer day, a teacher dozed off in class. He was embarrassed when he woke up and coaxed the students into saying, "I just dreamed of Duke Zhou." The next day, the students were asleep in class. The teacher was furious, knocked the student awake with a ruler and scolded him for not sleeping in class. The students argued, "I also went to see Duke Zhou." Mr. Wang asked angrily, "What did Duke Zhou tell you?" The student replied, "Duke Zhou said he didn't see you yesterday."

In the middle of class, the teacher walked beside Xiaoming. "Xiao Ming, why don't you listen carefully?" The teacher asked, "What are you doing?" Xiao Ming looked up and replied, "Teacher, I am writing a motto." "Oh, really?" The teacher picked up Xiao Ming's exercise book as he spoke. I saw it read: motto: I swear I will finish my homework on time in the future. If I don't finish it on time, I'll never swear again. -Xiaoming

6, one's deceased father grind, computer professional courses. After the exam bell rang, I was bending my head to do the paper. Suddenly, the head of the computer department rushed in with a blue face, searched everyone's papers, and then declared the exam invalid and took it again the next afternoon. I was surprised to be told that the standard answers were printed on the back of the test questions. That night, the school leaders went to the news broadcast. The next day, take the exam again. Look at the newspaper, or yesterday's problem! Suddenly, I fainted.

7. The teacher assigns homework. "Exercise 4, just do it." Suddenly I heard several boys shouting, "Teacher, there is still one question missing. Arrange another one. " The teacher was overjoyed and thought that we were finally looking forward to the day of active learning. So he smiled and said, "Well, add something." As soon as the bell rang, all the boys ran to draw lots and said, "Our teacher is really good. Now we even have a special number. "

8. Facing the enemy's gun, Wen Tianxiang insisted on saying no ... (No wonder the Southern Song Dynasty is dying, and the other side has modern weapons. Yesterday I went to Xtep with my classmates and bought a pair of shoes. I asked my friend how he felt when he put them on. He smiled and said, Xtep is an extraordinary feeling! I was knocked down by the door frame as soon as I went out!

9. In class, teachers ask students to judge right and wrong on the spot. Teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge." Kobayashi: "I think the answer should be' wrong'." Teacher: "Why?" Kobayashi: "Because Xiaoyan answered correctly earlier, but you didn't let her sit down."

10 There was once a teacher who had a very special method of writing papers. One day, he was distributing the finished paper. Send it to the classmate who did well in the exam, and then send it to him. Students who do well in the exam will put it on the table for him. Students who don't do well in the exam will give it to him on the ground. It's finished, and there are still three papers left. He said that these papers will be buried at a fixed point tonight, and the excavation site will be notified separately.