Happy joke text messages

1. You fall in love with a girl, your eyes are full of affectionate light, sinful desires are brewing in your heart, and the vivid and fragrant sex makes you long for it. The girl was also nervous because of your dedication and screamed: Help, whose dog is loose!

2. Teach you a set of martial arts: First, squat with both legs; then, place your left hand in front of your forehead; finally, make a gaze-like gesture with your palms facing down. Many people have learned this trick of "monkey exploring the road", but no matter the posture or appearance, the one who looks the most like you is you.

3. A girl met her boyfriend on the road and was with another beautiful girl, and they were very intimate. Suddenly I got furious and scolded my boyfriend: I didn’t expect you to be a guy who likes the new and hates the old! The boyfriend quickly explained: Wrong! You are the new, she is the old.

4. When the message is received, something bad will happen; the keyboard is malfunctioning and the command is invalid; the ringtone is ringing randomly and the master is roaring; if you are distressed, throw away the phone; if you want to laugh after reading it, the God of Wealth will be there; if you are not Laugh, it’s just a fool! Did you laugh?

5. Why did you stop what you were doing to read this text message? Will you die if you don’t watch? How can I study well if I am so easily disturbed? Can you get ahead? Stand in the corner and reflect! The party and the people despise you!

6. My son came home tremblingly: "Dad, I only got 60 points in today's exam." The father was very angry: "Next time you get a low grade in the exam, don't call me dad!" The next day his son came back: "I'm sorry, brother!"

7. Someone said to me, what else do you eat besides eating? No, I beat him up so hard that he actually slandered you like this. I don’t know about others, but don’t I know about you? In addition to eating, you can at least sleep, run and grind!

8. A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "Can you be responsible for my future?" The little boy : "Of course! We are no longer one or two years old!"

9. Experience in dressing up animals. Butterfly: It’s hard to give up on natural beauty. Hedgehog: No need for gel, the hair shape will be cool. Goldfish: I am the only one who can look elegant in a chiffon gauze skirt. Cheetah: I always dress on trend.

10. There was a large ship on the sea. Its original capacity was 60 people. As a result, it only carried 59 people, and it sank into the sea! why is that? Answer: This is a submarine.

11. I miss you after not seeing you for a week. I want to look for you every time I am hungry. In my mind, you are very important. I am willing to spend money to invite you to my house to bake and stir-fry. Hey, don't get excited, I'm talking about pork!

12. A group of patriotic young people returned from boycotting Carrefour. Suddenly they saw a French flag enjoying the cool weather on the street. They rushed forward and flattened it. The flag shouted: It’s unfair, I am the Dutch flag! Everyone angrily yelled: I thought I wouldn’t recognize you if you were lying on the ground pretending to be dead!

13. Give you a good friend. He is very considerate. When you cry, he will cry with you. When you laugh, he will laugh with you. Even when you lose your temper, He also loses his temper! Haha, it’s a repeater...

14. Two people are competing to see who knows more football rules. A says: I watch more football games! There is nothing I don’t know about football! B asked: Really? A said: Of course! B said: Then tell me how many holes there are in the football net?

15. Three times seven, twenty-one, regardless of three, seven or twenty-one. I don't care about you, I don't care about you, I can't ignore you. I miss you even if it’s too late, but my heart is always with you.

Fall in love with you, pamper you, love you no matter what!

16. The weather is cold, so I will give you a piece of thermal underwear of the caring brand, put on a sweater of the caring brand, put on a cotton coat of the warm brand on the outside, and tie it tightly with a happiness belt. I can't believe you don't look like...a rice dumpling dressed like this!

17. The cigarette fell in love with the fingers, but the fingers gave the cigarette to the lips. The cigarette kissed the lips but gave the heart to the lungs. The lungs thought they got the heart of the cigarette but they did not know that they hurt themselves! Is it the back of the fingers that makes the smoke so passionate, or is it the greed of the lips that makes the lungs sad?

18. Bankbook and Qian have been in love for many years, but have not yet married. Qian asked Bankbook: "Dear, why haven't you married me?" Bankbook said: "Dear, if I married you, You are no longer mine."

19. Patrolman: Fishing is not allowed here. Angler: I am not fishing, I am letting earthworms practice swimming. Patrolman: Then, show me the earthworms. Angler: Look! Patrolman: You can’t travel for sex, you should be fined.

20. "Pretend" culture: It's obviously a 6, but you have to stand on your head to pretend to be a 9; it's obviously a 0, but you have to gain height to pretend to be an 8; it's obviously a V, but you have to gain weight to pretend to be a W; it's obviously a q, but it's not You have to bend your legs to pretend to be g; even though it is P, you have to stand on your head to pretend to be b.

21. You enrich your own pockets with beauty and attract bees and butterflies to dance; you combine enchantment into one body, prompting rivers and mountains to move aside secretly; you entangle your body with virtue, causing the Book of Songs to cry out for injustice. It's all your fault, March 8th has changed forever!

22. Youth shines brightly on your face, your lively and loving image is really handsome, your charm is like a flower in bud, your romance is like countless stars lighting up lamps for you, and everyone marvels at your appearance. Beauty Style: So many pimples!

23. That night, the moonlight was hazy, the cool breeze was blowing, and the surroundings were quiet. Everything was perfect for doing that. When you slowly approached me, my heart was beating so nervously, But I still woke up and shouted... Someone is robbing me!

24. In late autumn, fallen leaves are fluttering in the wind; the cold wind makes people feel a little sad. Seeing you shivering while walking in the wind, I felt really sad. I walked to you and shyly took off my coat and gave it to you: "Take it and wash it. Do something to keep warm."

25. When I got home from the taxi with my wife, I asked: How much did it cost? Driver: 18! My wife rummaged through her bag to find the money. I took out 20 yuan and gave it to the driver. I said to my wife: Stop looking for it! My wife didn’t respond yet, so she only heard the driver say: Thank you!

26. Stewardess: Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts. The plane is about to take off. After the plane took off, the stewardess announced again, asking everyone to fasten their seat belts. We forgot to load breakfast today on the plane.

27. A humorous sentence: Don’t seek perfection, but seek to do whatever you want! All roads lead to Rome, and they are all lined with toll booths. When a goose feather is sent thousands of miles away, who pays the courier fee? There was a way to do things, but there were so many people walking there, so it was blocked.

28. When you are a human being, you must pay attention to the following principles: one is the hairpin and the other is the hairpin. The second gun is the most powerful weapon. Three terbium, chlorine, chlorine and chloride. Ah, I don’t understand! You have suffered the consequences of being uneducated all your life!

29. The sun is shining brightly, the breeze is blowing gently, the willows are swaying their branches passionately, the peach blossoms are exhaling their charming fragrance, and the creek is singing cheerful songs. It is such a picture of spring, I think It means...work hard, the boss is coming!

30. Funny version of "Little Donkey" I have a little donkey that I never ride. One day, on a whim, I rode the donkey to the market with a whip in my hand. I was feeling very proud, but I don't know why. The crackling whip cracked my skin!

31. "Can't put it down" means that you like it so much that you won't let go, so you should say "I can't put it down" loudly to the person you like. Try shouting a few more times and it will definitely have an effect.

32. Fireflies shine brightly in the dark night, stand out from the flock of chickens and stand out, horses stand out among donkeys, Pig Bajie looks handsome in a pig pen, and you and the orangutan stand together...handsome. Stunned!

33. The emperor’s edict is: Heaven is the greatest, and you are the second. No matter how big the sky is, it has limits, and you are "lawless". But I just like your frankness and frankness.

I would like to give you the "Kong Lao Er" award. I am willing to keep up the good work and carry "Two" to the end! Happy two two. Admire this.

34. Recently I noticed that you have lost weight. Is it because of me? Is it because I made you forget about tea and food? I'm sorry, I was wrong. I was too good. I will work hard to correct you in the future and make you feel better.

35. Let me do the math for you. It is not suitable for you to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex who was born in the Year of the Horse. If you insist on falling in love with someone who was born in the Year of the Horse, you can do it, but you must not kiss the other person because...because The donkey's lips are not the horse's mouth!

36. Yesterday, 3,986 freshmen from Southeast University began to register, making it the first university in Nanjing to start school. Among the freshmen, a girl named Zhou Wenting is particularly eye-catching. Her student number "11111111" is known as the most awesome student number in history. It is estimated that there will not be a student number ‘22222222’ after 11 years!

37. A farmer's daughter was so ugly that he had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare the crows. As a result, she not only scared away the crows, but three crows were even so scared that they sent some corn back!

38. What is life like? Happiness is the greatest. Driving a car, having fun at work, chatting about beauties, making phone calls, eating side dishes, hanging out in bars, roaring to songs, taking a sauna, dancing in the dance hall, meeting friends, texting, and teasing fools!

39. There was a wolf baby who did not eat meat and only ate vegetarian food when he was born. The wolf parents were very worried. One day they saw the wolf baby chasing a rabbit and were very relieved. As a result, the wolf The baby caught the rabbit and said: Hand over the carrot quickly!

40. As soon as I close my eyes and open them again, a day passes. As soon as you think about something, you do it, and it's done in a while. My heart felt cold and warm, and my resentment was gone. The Relaxed and Happy Club invites you to participate in tomorrow's "Happiness is My Way" event, so please be ready!

41. I want you and me to do something big. We will not have to worry about food and clothing, and we will be able to travel around the world. I think with your charm you can earn more than me. Can you promise me? Let's go...beg for food!

42. Could it be that you are the little novice adopted by the mentally retarded master of the Shaolin Temple who was unparalleled in swordsmanship and martial arts in Huashan back then? The cockroach Xiaoqiang once rolled over was crushed by Wangcai, his imbecile pet dog. A turd ball?

43. There was a shooting star across the night sky last night, so I immediately made a wish to the shooting star: May you have good luck every day! Big prize every term! I saw Meteor return and tell me: When he treats you to dinner, your wish will come true immediately!

44. Among the classmates of that year, the one who read English as "interest should be paid" became the president; the one who read the English as "forcibly changing history" became a ** writer. I read "Should Be Tired to Death" and became a company employee. How did you study back then?

45. Money is a double-edged sword. It can buy a house but not a home; it can buy marriage but not love; it can buy a clock but not time. Now, give me all your money and let me bear the pain alone!

46. Mr. Xu made a big mistake. When he took out his pocket in front of his wife, the cigarettes, unsuccessful gambling tickets, and photos of his old lover were scattered on the floor. When he panics, which thing will he immediately cover up? Mrs.'s eyes.

47. I discovered a secret. Modern society is strange: cats drink cola, sheep fall in love with wolves, wings become invisible, autumn will not come back, and orcs thousands of miles away actually sing nocturnes.

48. Oh my god, with modern civilization, you can make money even if you make a fool of yourself, and it is not illegal. Otherwise, if you say nothing about your ugly appearance, you will be sentenced to life. If you have to impose a sentence, then the sentence is one Ten thousand years, but I like it and I will often visit him in prison!

49. Thank you for your silent companionship over the years. He keeps me warm when it's cold, and doesn't mind being wet or salty when it's hot. He is always accommodating to me and tolerates my shortcomings. Although there are flaws, you still never give up on me. I miss you so much! Old socks.

50. Lao Wang is a "white-headed man". When he went out one day, passers-by were surprised and said: "Lao Wang! What product did you use that is so magical? Your hair is completely black!" Lao Wang: "Don't mention it, I'll take it. Use shoe polish as head polish! ”

51. When I am tired, I can nestle in your arms; when I am hurt, I can cry on your shoulder. From the moment I was born, I fell deeply in love with you and can no longer be separated from you, ah, my dear bed!

52. Xiao Wang was a little nervous when he went to a restaurant with his girlfriend for the first time. My girlfriend asked for a cold cucumber. When the waiter brought it, Xiao Wang picked up a piece of cucumber with chopsticks and put it on his girlfriend's plate and said: Come on, eat it while it's hot!

53. It is satisfaction, without the sharpness of 1, without the loss of 3; it is just right, not complacent, not conceited, not humble, not sad. 2 To the extreme, it is transcendent, free and easy, and fearless. If you're on 2, keep doing 2.

54. Thinking of you, my heart feels warm. I think of the way you sacrificed yourself first when we went to the mall together. I really can’t move without you. You are my heaven, you are my earth, you are My lover, you are my confidant——RMB.

55. I am so hungry that I cannot resist your temptation. Being in close contact with you gives me bursts of indescribable pleasure, and I feel like the earth is spinning. I really want to have sex with you but I'm afraid of making my belly grow bigger - dear beer.

56. A tourist participated in the Water Splashing Festival of ethnic minorities and suddenly shouted: "Who is throwing water at me?" The tour guide explained that splashing water means blessing! The tourist yelled: “You think I’m a fool!” He used boiling water!

57. If you want, I will look at you lovingly until you surrender; if you want, I will talk to you affectionately until you turn into a sheep; if you dare, I will travel thousands of miles away Come to cheer for you, do you dare to admit that you are a donkey?

58. Are you fascinated by me? I don’t feel tired when I look at you all day long. I can’t even blink my eyes. I always look at you and accompany you every day. I live so happily! -My favorite mobile phone!

59. If you love someone, buy him a train ticket home. If you hate someone, let him stand in line to buy a train ticket. If you want to have a family with him, buy him a house. If you don't want to have a family with him, let him buy you a house.

60. A: "Silk stockings are a symbol of power. They can conquer both men and women." B: "How do you say this?" A: "Because women can conquer men when they wear them, and men can conquer men when they wear them." Wear it...you can conquer the bank!"

61. The simplest IQ test, please read the following paragraph: Sister, go forward boldly! The river flows eastward, and the stars in the sky are like the Big Dipper! Anyone who sings to the tune will be able to register at the psychiatric department of the hospital in the near future!

62. You haven’t been doing well lately and haven’t had much contact with me. You have to apologize to me and treat me to a meal. Otherwise, see your phone number on the wall and write the marriage hotline in front of it. , add a condition at the end, it’s up to you.

63. Dear users of China Mobile, China Unicom or Messy, hello! Congratulations! Your mobile phone number has been selected as the special prize by the "Extraordinary 6 7" column. Please log in to the event website www. SBSB is really SB. com to receive the super value prize, the verification code is 52525 true 2!

64. Banana and Orange’s first wedding night, Orange: How are you like a man? You can’t stand up or be hard after taking off your clothes. Banana: I only thought you were plump before, but now I know you are pregnant. Orange: I grew up drinking water from the Daughter Kingdom.

65. Who should I think of in the cold wind at the entrance of No. 1 Middle School? Who should I hate? Who should I hit? ...I originally thought I was playing with life, but in fact I was played with by life, and played miserably. But still happy.

66. Fortune teller: A woman’s hands are like ginger, and her warehouse is full of money and silk. The farmer was very happy: My wife’s hands look like ginger! Fortune teller: Really? Farmer: She slapped her in the mouth yesterday, and it’s still burning.

67. If I have one candy, I will give it to you because I want you to be happy; if I have two candies, we will each have one, and I want us to be happy together; if I have three candies Candy, I will give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

68. The wife likes a piece of clothing and asks her husband for his opinion. My husband doesn’t think it looks good on me. My wife said: Look at the beauty next to her, she looks great in it. The husband sighed and said quietly: There is still a difference between imitation Song Dynasty and black body.

69. The dog’s wish: I really want to have a bone. When I finish eating the meat on it, it will grow new meat. Chicken's lament: Ever since humans invented the clock, my worth has plummeted!

70. You are simply amazing! I can ask you for help when I encounter a problem I don’t understand, I can rely on you to defend myself when I’m in danger, and I can even use you as a decoration at home... You are really a multi-functional super fat encyclopedia!

71. Shrovetide in the West is February 16th. My dear, I was wrong: I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! I regret it! Haha, love tolerates small mistakes.

72. Being out of print is not always a good thing. Nothing happens and often leads to trouble. Just these two are in trouble, and it is difficult to fly even if you have two wings. Indeed, misfortunes and blessings depend on each other, and the meaning of the lyrics is subtle. When a man is looking for a mate for marriage, people label him and play with danger! (First word of each sentence)

73. When a woman broke up with her during a date, her boyfriend was devastated: Alas, I will never get married in this life! Woman: Where in the world is there no grass? There will be someone suitable for you! Man: If you don’t even want me, who else wants me?

74. In late autumn, fallen leaves are fluttering in the wind; the cold wind makes people feel a little sad. Seeing you shivering in the wind, I felt really sad. I walked to you and shyly took off my coat and handed it to you: "Take it and wash it. Do something to keep warm."

75. It’s weird, weird, really weird. No one came to steal the vegetables today. Pick the cabbage for Guaiguai. Put down the phone and eat the vegetables. Okay, don’t read the text messages. Come on, hurry up, stop “bleating” Yelled! Come on, we are waiting for you online. Be sure to contact us!

76. When you receive my text message, you will be saved from the abyss of strict wife control. My wife wants you to wear colorful clothes, so you can just wear a shirt. Man, keep it simple. She wants you to kneel down. You don’t have to kneel down on the washboard, I have the final say on my territory.

77. You flashed by, making me lose myself immediately. Looking at your back, I really wanted to keep you. I loudly told myself that I couldn’t let you go, so I shouted at your back. Crying: Catch the thief!

78. If you love me, treat me well. If you've never loved me, say it clearly and I'll understand. If you insist on asking me if I love you too, then I can tell you, in fact... I have never loved you either!

79. Please send "love" to 11, and you will receive wholehearted love; please send "love" to 99, and you will receive everlasting love; please send "big idiot" to me With your mobile phone, you can get a fat meal!

80. I am afraid of losing you, so I hold you tightly in my arms. I want you to stay with me forever. I feel very sad when you leave. My feelings for you are so deep. I think you will understand me, money!

81. Pig and puppy talk: Brother dog, what do you want to do in your next life? Dog: I want to be a human, what about you? Pig: I still like being a pig. A few years later, the dog's wish was not fulfilled, but the pig learned to read text messages!

82. Your laughter echoes in my ears in the morning; your liveliness and excitement at noon appear in my mind; your vague face enters my dream at night... so I scream. Wake up! Dress up better next time!

83. When the fat mother applied for a membership card, she said: I am now 29 years and a few months old... The staff looked at it and said suspiciously: How many months old? The fat mother struggled for a long time and said: 066 months...

84. You are at work, right? Are you tired? There is one thing that I have been holding in my mind for a long time. After careful consideration, I decided to tell you. What I want to tell you is...it is still some time before I get off work.

85. Xiao Ming is proud that his father is a great engineer. Xiao Ming: "Do you know the Himalayas? That was built by my father." Xiao Hua: "Do you know the Dead Sea? That was killed by my father."

86. In the new semester, the teacher announced Classroom discipline: You can have breakfast in class, but it must be nutritious, steak is fine; you can also sleep, but you must cover yourself with a quilt; the only thing I care about is my mobile phone, because I will never allow anyone to disturb others' sleep!

87. When school started to welcome new students, I saw a girl carrying something. I hurried up and said to her: "Come on, I will carry it for you." "No need, I can carry it myself." She Standing in front of the ATM machine, he said to me coldly.

88. Seeing so many people liking you, I secretly encouraged myself to try to pursue you. The moment I approached you, smelling the breath on your body, I finally couldn't help but vomit... stinky tofu!

89. If you want to do a general cleaning at home, you will first throw away A old clothes; B old electrical appliances; C small things; D old books and magazines. A: You have strong ability to spend money; B: You need people to help you manage your finances; C: You are a master of financial management; D: You never spend money randomly.

90. Although you have spent time with me in loneliness and eliminated my troubles, you have also caused me too much harm. After some ideological struggle, I have waded through the torrent of love and hate. , I think you are really not suitable for me, goodbye! cigarette!

91. You were so naughty when you were a child! In order to prevent fires, a forest erected a sign: "Please do not leave fire!" The next day, the smoker was emboldened, but the young couple ran away happily when they saw it. It turned out that you removed the two dots of the word "fire" !

92. In a dark night when you couldn’t see anything, a strong man brutally killed and dismembered you! The police arrested him the next day, but the damn guy's crime turned out to be: slaughtering pigs privately.

93. On February 2, it’s time to shave your head, leaving no room for troubles and worries; on February 2, the dragon raises its head, and rice and fat flow from big and small warehouses; on February 2, fried beans are a good sign of wealth; February 2nd, gnawing a pig’s head, what text messages are you reading? Cover your head and go quickly!

94. I hope that beauty will stay on your face forever, even if the pimples flicker, like the stars in the night sky; I hope that you sing happily, even though it is out of tune and unreliable; I hope that you will be lucky, just like a toad Got the favor of the swan!

95. The bee and the butterfly met. The butterfly said: "You are so stingy. You are full of sweet words and you don't tell me!" The bee said: "You are even more stingy. You don't even have two antennas on your head." Send me a text message! ”

96. You are so fashionable today. You wear a swimming ring and show off your butterfly sleeves. You walk around in a big way, attracting thousands of people to admire. There are actually lazy people on the street. Sheep, why don’t you go home and hide yourself? Remember?

97. Because of your outstanding performance in doing laundry, mopping the floor and kneeling on the washboard at home, and carrying big bags and wallets when you go out, hereby, on the occasion of the 38th Festival, I will award you the "Special Contribution Award" for "grinding the floor". Not bad” a pair of wrist and knee pads to show encouragement!

98. Things used by celebrities are called "cultural relics", things used by ordinary people are called "trash", but things you have used can only be called "stolen items", even though you are not an official or a eunuch. , who told you to get out of here and make balls of shit every day in this life!

99. I haven’t seen you for many days, and I miss you very much, so I sent you a text message to express my feelings of missing you. If you don’t invite me to dinner after receiving it, you are stingy. If you ignore me, then I am. Tianjin’s famous Goubuli steamed buns! Humph, it’s up to you!

100. A man in his forties wrote a letter after pursuing a girl in her twenties for a long time. At the end, he wrote: "My dear, if you continue like this, I will delay your youth."

101. Classic weekend lines: Build a seven-star stove and boil three rivers in a copper kettle. Set up the Eight Immortals table to entertain sixteen parties. Everyone who comes is a guest, and it all depends on their mouth. Laugh when we meet and don't think twice afterward. As soon as the person leaves, the tea becomes cold, so there is nothing wrong with it.

102. You are not the wind, and I am not the sand. No matter how lingering you are, it will never reach the end of the world. You are not a cigarette, and I am not a match. No matter how much friction you rub, there will be no sparks. You are not time, and I am not the years. No matter how much time you waste, you will never reach the horizon.

103. If the recipient of this text message is an extraordinary person, then it is not an ordinary person. If it is an ordinary person, it is not an extraordinary person. Ordinary people will be dizzy after reading it, and non-ordinary people will be dizzy after reading it. Sample, are you dizzy in general or extraordinary? General dizzy!

104. Patient: I have insomnia; Doctor: With these medicines, if you take the yellow ones, you can dream of Andy Lau; if you take the red ones, you can dream of F4; if you take the white ones, you can dream of Nick Cheung. Patient: What if I eat together? Doctor: Then you can meet Leslie Cheung.

105. One day, while I was shopping for watches with my wife, my wife picked out a small and smart imported high-end watch worth 10,000 yuan. I quickly advised her: "The hands of this watch are too thin, and your eyes are not good." My wife interrupted me: "As long as other people's eyes are good, it will be fine."

106. Urgent reminder: There may be something wrong in the near future. In tornado weather, be sure to carry two 10-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept into the west by the strong wind. Those weighing less than 50 kg must double the weight.

107. After some searching in scriptures, interviews with Chinese and foreign psychologists, naturalists, physicists, etc., combined with my experiments, I finally found a way to escape the heat. That is: stay where it’s cool!

108. Stretch out your hands when you see a text message: Stretch out one finger and you will become a millionaire. Stretch out two fingers and you will become a billionaire. Stretch out three fingers so that I can know. You can finally count.

109. If you want to cool off in the hot summer, I will teach you a secret trick: first raise your hands above your head to let your armpits dissipate heat, then put your hands on the ground to touch the earth's air, and finally stick out your tongue, hurriedly Breathe to dissipate heat from your mouth. Got it?

110. Xiao Ming always likes to lie on the table during class. The teacher couldn't bear it and said: "Xiao Ming, please stand up and don't lie on the table to listen to the class." Xiao Ming said helplessly: Teacher, there is nothing I can do. I am a conditioned reflex. As soon as you give a lecture, I will fall down.

111. I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain. Who dares to use me for dipping? His ancestors traveled south and north. I drank water behind the toilet, ran over my legs on the train track, and even kissed a piglet. No matter what, I kissed you!

112. In order to maintain world peace, international peacekeeping forces will clear weapons of mass destruction around the world on April 1. According to reliable intelligence, you have been included in the removal target. Codename "Fool", run away.

113. In the vast sea of ??people, my heart beats for you, but your expression of indifference makes me feel a faint pain. Your indifference makes me dare not express my feelings, but I can't help myself. Now I I want you to understand...you are stepping on my toes!

114. Where do users like to shut down their phones the most? Answer: It’s Ningbo! Question: Why? Answer: "Sorry, the user you dialed has shut down..." I was speechless.

115. Dialogue between rice and barrel. Rice: Why don’t you hug me? After so many years of dating, do you know how hurt I feel? Bucket: I think so too! But then we will really become losers, so we have to endure it!

116. Bad driving habits of pilots: when encountering a red light, the first thought is to turn around; when trying to overtake, neither go left nor right. Just face the car in front, hit the accelerator and pull the steering wheel back.

117. When I met you by chance, I was so flustered that I was at a loss. Your loving eyes made it impossible for me to avoid you. I understood your heart. I ran away desperately, but you followed me closely. There was only crying: whose dog ran away.

118. When you are a human being, you must pay attention to: one bun is tied to a bun, two buns are tied together, and three buns are tied together! Ah, don’t you understand? You will definitely suffer the consequences of being uneducated in this life!

119. Use gutter oil to taste, poisonous rice to fill your stomach, beef paste to paste your mouth, clenbuterol to fatten you, dyed steamed buns to consume, and Prince Salt to beat your back.

After thinking about it, apart from my friends, I am the most reliable, or for short, I am the most reliable!

120. Regardless of the day or the sentiment, I want to inform you: whether you admit it or not, you owe me a dime; whether you have money or not, you have to pay me back a dime; whether you give it or not. If you give me money, you have to tell me when you will pay me back a dime!