"Wife, if you contribute money and effort to your parents and ignore your parents-in-law, get divorced" "Okay"

There is an old saying: The crow feeds back, and the lamb kneels to breastfeed. Even animals repay kindness and are filial to their parents, let alone us humans. Our parents try their best to raise us. When our parents are old, we should be filial to them and provide for them. But everything must be reasonable. Your parents, it is up to you to decide how you want the other person to live. Filial piety is not an excuse for you to morally kidnap your significant other. The "robber" logic of Phoenix men on this point is their shortcoming in marriage. graph network.

Most parents do not agree with their daughters marrying Phoenix men, not only because their financial conditions are poor, but also because they are worried that their daughters will suffer hardship. I am more worried about suffering all these hardships. All the enjoyment is not the small family, but Phoenix Man's original family. Because Phoenix Man's family conditions are very poor, his current achievements can be said to be that the entire family of origin or even the entire family has integrated all financial resources to train him.

So once the Phoenix Man achieves something, he will have many people to whom he wants to repay his kindness, and the first ones to bear the brunt are his parents and family. In fact, when you are capable, you should repay your parents and treat them well. But they tend to forget their own small families, and "bind" their wives with themselves to "repay" these debts of love together! Sun Qiang is such a phoenix man. Because of his logic, his marriage broke up.

Sun Qiang’s self-report:

My wife and I are in a free relationship. According to our conditions, we should never have intersection. But maybe it was fate. By chance, I helped her in a difficult situation. That’s how we got together. My wife doesn’t like to owe others favors, and I quite like her character. To express her gratitude, she invited me to dinner, and I took the opportunity to visit her several times.

After getting to know each other, she developed a good impression of me. I remember my wife once said that I was different from the people around her, that I was motivated, simple and kind. I actually don't like her very much, I admit that I still have selfish motives. My wife has a good family background. If we can get married, my future life will be much easier. But I also know that every gain must come with a loss. I can only endure her willfulness and strength, and just accept her weakness and do nothing.

My family was naturally very happy about my relationship, but my father-in-law and my father-in-law disagreed at first, saying that I had a purpose in getting close to my wife. I'm quite speechless. When you get married, you always have to pursue something. My wife wants me to be submissive, and I want her to give me a good life. Isn't it fair? But with my wife’s insistence, we finally got married. Originally, my father-in-law wanted a betrothal gift, but my parents complained about their poverty.

In the end, my family and I didn’t have to pay a dime, and the marriage ended. After getting married, I got my wish to live in a big house and drive a car. But at the same time, my family was complaining more and more about me, and I was becoming more and more uneasy. Because when I got married, my family didn’t show any sign of it, and there were some problems with my words and deeds. So my wife didn’t show any other reaction besides turning a blind eye to the fact that almost all of my salary was given to my family. None.

The main reason is that the contrast is too obvious. My wife is very filial to her parents. I buy things for my parents every day, but never for my parents. Her parents had a headache and a fever, so they were worried that they would go back to her parents' house to take care of her and not be able to come back. I'm not saying that it's wrong to be filial to your parents. On the contrary, I think it's right to be filial to your parents. I think my wife is too double-standard. If she marries me, aren't my parents her parents? Why have you never been so kind to my parents?

If it had always been like this, maybe life could go on like this. But about half a year after the marriage, my wife was ready to have a child. This was originally a good thing, but my wife proposed that my salary card should be handed over to her in the future. It is said that after the child is born, the family expenses will increase. As a father, I should have some concept of saving money and not spend money randomly. I laughed angrily. It’s not that she herself doesn’t have money, and her parents’ family doesn’t have money either. How could our future children encounter financial difficulties?

By taking away my salary card, isn’t it a disguised form of preventing me from giving money to my parents? Faced with my questioning, my wife said that she could provide living expenses. But she was only willing to give 3,000, which was not enough for my parents to live as they pleased.

They raised me, let me go to college, and I now have a good job. They gave me all these things. Should I just let them have enough to eat? Why can't my parents live a good life as they please?

But I had no choice. My salary card was gone and I didn’t have enough money, so I asked my colleagues and friends to borrow it. In the end, my wife took the money to pay off these debts, but she always had a big quarrel. My wife says I am selfish, partial, and never cares about our little family. I'm really angry and speechless. Those are my parents. It's already very unfilial for me to give them some money now, but they still say that I'm partial and selfish? If I am partial, wouldn’t my wife be even more partial?

How much money does she give to her parents every month? She also said that she would save money to buy a car for her parents so that her mother would not be reluctant to buy a new car. And I have repeatedly asked my parents to come and live with us, but they have been rejected. There is obviously an empty room at home, but my wife would rather leave it empty than let my parents come over. If it were the current situation, what was the point of marrying her in the first place?

I finally chose to divorce her because my parents wanted to live with me for a while, but my wife refused. He said that the parents-in-law were just scheming and used excuses to stay for a short period of time, but in the end they refused to leave. Relying on the fact that he was the elder and knew that his daughter-in-law was not willing to evict her, he settled down justifiably. He also said that if I really want my parents to come to the city, let me use my own salary to rent a house for my parents to live in. Whose parents should be filial to whom? She has no obligation to use her own income to let her parents-in-law enjoy happiness.

My wife’s words disgusted me so much that she and I had a big fight. No matter what she said, she didn’t agree with my proposal. Mom gave them a pension fund and asked them to save it, so that they would feel confident. Finally, I filed for divorce. I felt that such a marriage was too meaningless. I said, "My parents have worked hard all their lives, so we can't have nothing."

My wife looked at me, smiled, and said: "As much as you are capable, just let your parents live their lives, don't expect anything from others." She agreed to the divorce and laughed at me and said don't regret it. I won't regret it. I don't believe that I can't find a good wife who is willing to be filial to my parents-in-law with me. It is my ex-wife who should be waiting to regret it.

Conclusion:

Marriage is when two people separate from their original families and form a new family. But it does not mean that after getting married, you will completely abandon your parents of your original family. But there is a problem here, which is the problem of treating both parents equally. If both husband and wife only care about their own biological parents and ignore the parents of the other party, it will definitely affect the marriage. This is actually the reason why the marriage in the article broke up.

However, the reason that led to the eventual breakdown of this marriage was the reason why the two did not treat their parents equally. For the wife, her husband's family has no sincerity in marrying her. No matter how bad the conditions are, she should have an attitude instead of just crying about poverty. After getting married, the husband completely ignores the small family and gives all his income to his parents. He also cares about his wife and her family's property, so it is impossible for the wife to have a good attitude towards her husband's family.

The husband got married with the mentality of being able to benefit from the glory, and relying on the wealth of his wife's natal family, he not only wanted to live a good life for himself, but also wanted his family of origin to live a good life without worries about food and clothing. I am poor and I am reasonable. My wife’s parents cannot live a good life on their own, they must let their in-laws live a good life as well. Now that my wife has married me, she must work with me to repay the debt of gratitude to my family of origin. According to this logic, marriage must not last long. But everyone thinks, in this marriage, which one is right, the Phoenix man, or the wife?