44 Super Funny Classic Quotations _ Laughing

1. The female classmate who just returned from an internship in a Japanese company said with emotion: No matter how high-end meetings and high-end people attend, those people have a meeting with you politely on the stage, but someone is always touching your thigh off the stage!

2. Why do you get up so early? The bar hasn't opened yet!

4. In order to build a harmonious society, honey, let's do it again.

5. I love you at the same time, which is the beginning of my challenge to the moth.

6. You are the best example of abortion failure!

7. More and more young people are getting tattoos. Think about the summer after 4 or 5 years. Old people and old ladies with tattoos

8. Some people give birth in the car, and some people get pregnant in the subway. Beijing is really a vibrant city

9. There have been no charming mothers on the Internet since ancient times, and there are occasionally several pairs of mandarin ducks, which are also pheasants with perverts.

1. Part I: How worried are China men and women? Part Two: It's like a group of eunuchs visiting a brothel. No one can shoot

11. Falling in love is a feeling. When this feeling is gone, I am still trying to force myself. This is called responsibility! Breaking up is courage! When this courage is gone, I am still encouraging myself. This is called tragic!

12. It is forbidden to urinate here, and the tools will be confiscated.

13. My hands are willing to be rough for women.

14. The wind blows my crotch.

15. I'm too pure. I'm a little shameless!

16. The painting that was wrong at the first stroke had to be scribbled all the way.

17. Don't waste new tears for the old sadness!

18. I think I am a pervert. I have a hobby of Oedipus and liking the best mature women. Why else do I want to fuck her grandmother every time I see the face of our supermarket supervisor?

19. Don't stir up the world with lewdness.

2. A man gives a woman a bra to show that he wants to establish a lover relationship. A woman gives a man underwear, indicating that she has a lover relationship.

21. Some people say that if you have a baby, you won't have dysmenorrhea, so have one!

22. Don't hang yourself on a tree. Try to die several times on several trees and you will die completely!

23. When I smile, my smile is full of bohemian temperament like a poet, but behind this bohemian, there are delicate and warm feelings. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in a choir, and I look down like a profound and elegant aristocrat. Yes, I am such a man who combines all kinds of seemingly irreconcilable qualities perfectly.

24. gf, who just made friends with me, has just confirmed that she will break up with me after a week's relationship, just because I haven't read Oak Taviaud Pass's books and Borges' poems.

25. Teacher, wait, I'll let the Buddha marry me!

26. I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

27. My buddy's greatest wish is that a beautiful woman should not wear clothes!

28. There is a word difference between life and existence, but it is made in heaven and earth. How many people are living and how many people are living? Are you living or surviving?

29. When is the time to embrace each other? Yang is watching the fun.

3. The escalator broke down when I left the subway station this morning. I was stuck on it for more than an hour, so I was late.

31. When I see a beautiful woman, I first feel in my pocket to see if I have any money!

32. I don't like sleeping with one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

33, live well, because we will die for a long time!

34. Nu Wa shot it every day.

35. If a man is fined for illegal parking, he will have a quarrel with the police, and the woman will advise him. If a woman is fined for illegal parking, she will have a quarrel with the man around her, and the police will advise her.

36. I will be good friends with anyone who says I am white, thin and beautiful.

37. If the seminal vesicle is not empty, swear not to be a ghost!

38. Fill her emptiness with your surplus!

39. Please don't disturb while taking a bath. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 4 for individuals and 2% for groups!

4. I am being raped by Sichuan University. Now the only thing I can do is to put my posture right as much as possible!

41. College is the best time for female breast development.

42, thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations!

43. The woman outside the umbrella is doomed not to go out in rainy days.

44. Too many classes are skipped. One day, when I want to go to class, the professor is surprised to say that I haven't seen you for such a long time and I have grown so big. 36 Classic Funny Quotations _ Laughing

1. My girlfriend ate 5 kebabs in one breath, and my boyfriend said five words. What five words did you say?

2. Simple question ~ Who were the five tiger generals of Shu during the Three Kingdoms period ~ I searched online for pigs ~ saint seiya, Zi Long, Glacier, Instant and Ikki

3. It has to be human.

4. One of your good-looking friends of the opposite sex calls you in the middle of the night and wants to go out with you to get a room. What should you do? Fuck off! Lao Tzu is a serious man! Don't fucking seduce me where to go?

5. When did your first kiss happen? When I was 6 years old, I said to a girl one year younger than me: I don't agree with me pushing you into the ditch.

6. If you are in prison, what do you do to kill time in prison? Dig a tunnel

7. Is anyone chasing you now? Yes, I owe her 3 yuan.

8. Someone throws oil all over you and says, Don't worry, it's all automatic. What do you do? Hit him with kidney deficiency and tell him not to worry. There are Liuwei Dihuang Pills, which are used to treat kidney deficiency and contain no sugar.

9. What is the most important thing you learn from Lei Feng? Holding the eldest sister-in-law to send the children home.

1. How can two people who love each other keep their love for each other? Kill each other and bury them in one place.

11. Have you ever thought about suicide? I want to fucking kill you!

12. The most peculiar name of Beijing snacks represents the state of an animal, which is sold in many places in Beijing! guess (Answer: Rolling on a donkey) Peacock Green

13. Walking alone on the road, a heterosexual comes to ask you: Is this the earth? What's your answer? If it is a beauty, I will say: I love you. If a Martian is a dinosaur, I will say: Where did you come from? Go back

14. Both girls like you. One is beautiful and talented, and the other is gentle and housekeeping. Which one do you choose? Divorce your family first

15. Your ex is married. Would you like to attend her wedding? I just want to attend the fucking funeral!

16. Now, can you enter 13 seconds in 1 meters? Free fall?

17. What is the most valuable thing you stole when playing Kaixin? The mouse in the Internet cafe ...

18. If you have to choose one in (1 Chris Lee, 2 Sister Furong, 3 Flower, 4 Lv Xiulian) and get married immediately, what do you choose to die?

19 What do you think if you go to Starbucks alone and sit with a notebook all afternoon? It's better than sitting with a notebook and soy milk

2. What does it prove if your lover who has been in love for many years meets someone better than you and then leaves you? Love is actually a fucking ape-shit-! ! !

21. Seriously, have you had a plastic surgery? My stomach is bulging.

22. Immediately! Right now! Don't think! Say an English word with the beginning of P, pI GU! ! !

23. ICAC is the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC). What is an ICBC? (Answer: Industrial and Commercial Bank of China). Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC).

24. Have you ever peeked into other people's privacy? I robbed openly.

25. If one day you suddenly disappear, do you think someone will look for you crazily? If I still owe the bank mortgage and car loan

26. Someone has a secret crush on you, will you be tempted when you know? I think I'll change my mind.

27. Twins. The elder brother's name is Tianlong. What's the younger brother's name? Eight parts

28. Do you think about a heterosexual every day ~ A: I think about it every day and want to sleep with her

29. When your enemy goes to the toilet, he can't get out without paper. What do you do to give him a roll of transparent plastic

3. What will happen to you if his rival falls into the water? Pee.

31. I'm good and obedient. I know you have a boyfriend/girlfriend now, but I'll wait for you. Will you take me? You'll die, boy. Go home.

32. What would you sing if you met a robber in the middle of the night and he said he wouldn't let you go without singing? Haohan song

33. What was the most serious consequence of being naughty as a child? When I was a child, I played on a wall ~ I accidentally slipped and kicked others off the wall

34. Do you want to cry when you think of someone? Yes, creditors.

35. Someone told you that my family uses mineral water to flush toilets. How do you respond? What I peed in was a royal salute!

36. If your other half's ex died and your other half cried in front of you, how would you react? Throw three feet of white silk and say, you might as well go with her. 3 Classic Funny Quotations _ Laugh

1. When Mr. Bao and Zhan Zhao went to Africa to play, they met a group of black-faced cannibals. The cannibals not only refused to eat two people, but also shook hands with Mr. Bao and gave them human flesh to eat. Lord Bao was puzzled. Zhan Zhao said, My Lord, cannibals regard you as their distant relative.

2. My friend said that he would drive me home. After getting on the bus, he habitually lit a cigarette. My friend pinched my cigarette and said, Don't smoke in the car, it will smell like smoke. I slapped him down, and the battery car smelled like your sister's smoke.

3. I took the subway and sat next to a strange aunt. When the mobile phone rang, my aunt answered the phone and said to the phone very brightly: Ah, I'm busy tonight. My car broke down and I'm taking the subway. I found a handsome duck and I'm going to check in! The crowded carriage was instantly quiet. I glanced at my aunt next to me, and when I turned around, I found that the whole car was staring at myself.

My roommate of four or four years only ate an orange that she gave to five of us. It was a real orange. Snacks are always taken to bed by yourself, and then get out of bed after eating. Everyone in the dormitory charged two yuan for electricity. My roommate said that we used her electricity, so we shouldn't ask her to pay and give her money! More importantly ... I once saw five audis in her camera! Five cars! There is a camera at home!

5. I have a strong taste and like to eat more salt. One day, my roommate asked me: what does the product mean? I ignored him (he likes to ask strange questions) and casually said, it means eating. My roommate nodded while thinking, looking like this. A few days later, my girlfriend came to the dormitory to chat with me, and my roommate was lying in bed reading. When I talked about taste with my girlfriend, she asked me: What's your taste? As soon as his girlfriend finished talking, his roommate dropped the book, sat up and replied, He always emphasizes taste. I suddenly turned blue.

6. Coach: Relax, don't be nervous. Well, I'm not nervous. My friend said to treat the coach next to me as a dog during the exam.

7. Doctor: Why can't I find my pen? I want to give you a prescription. The patient quietly reminded: doctor, didn't you put it in my armpit!

8. It's been many years since I graduated. Today is Teacher's Day. I miss you very much, teacher. You have worked hard. I have returned the knowledge you taught me to you. When do you think the tuition will be returned to me so that I can buy an iphone6s!

9. The couple went to buy clothes. The wife hesitated between a thick dress and a thin one, not knowing which one was better, so she asked her husband: Which one do you think is better? Husband said: If you can wash clothes, buy the thick one. The wife smiled and called the boss: Wrap this thin one for me.

1. After drinking with my friends at night, I took a taxi home by myself. As soon as I got on the taxi, the driver asked me: Young man, have you been drinking? I'm a little surprised: yo! Master, your nose is smart enough to smell the wine on me? The driver said: Smell your sister! Get off my roof first!

11. Wife: You are so obsessed with watching TV that you don't even care if the faucet is broken. The water is drowning your house. Come and have a look. Husband: What are you looking at? What channel is it on?

12. When I went out, I met a beggar and asked me for money, saying that I hadn't eaten for several days. I just bought steamed bread with my change, and I saw that he was pitiful and gave him two. He even said that I sent beggars. Isn't he a beggar?

13. Today, a buddy cut a ball head and joked with him: Brother just got out of prison! He looked at me and said, Are you trying to force me to go to prison again? Then I was silent.

14. A female sister weighs 14 Jin. She dances square dance with her aunts every night. She dragged me to watch it yesterday, and then asked me how it looked. I said: I think you dance like a little swan. She said: Really! It seems that I have lost weight. I went on to say: It's Little Swan brand drum washing machine

15. I can't think of any gift for my wife to celebrate her birthday. It can't be too expensive and make her happy. Write her an anonymous love letter.

16. I was lying in the hospital bed and asked the nurse: Without love, affection, friendship, health and money, did I have nothing? The nurse quickly said softly, how can you say that about yourself? I thought you were still sick. . .

17. Mrs. Shana, who runs a fashion shop, has been very upset recently, because the flower shop on the left has started to operate fashion. Not only is the pavement bigger than her own, but competitors have also put up an irritating signboard. The business here is the most cost-effective! . After another wave of unrest, Mrs. Shana's heart has not been cleared, and the flower shop on the right side of the fashion shop has also started to do fashion business, and it has also made a slogan that is dazzling to Mrs. Shana. The price here is the cheapest! After thinking hard for several days, Mrs. Shana, who can't eat well and sleep well, finally came up with a countermeasure and hung a big sign entrance right above the door of her fashion shop.

18. I remember having a drinking party with a female colleague. After drinking, the female colleague was also drunk and said that she wanted me to sleep with her at night. After listening, I slapped her and left her there alone. I think she must be trying to steal 2 yuan from my pocket while I was asleep. I didn't expect that she was such a person. Bah!

19. Some time ago, in the physical examination of the unit, a colleague's fat blood vessels were not obvious. The doctor stuck several needles and failed to draw blood. He said helplessly, Comrade, you are really ~ well, you are really strong, and your colleagues are very real. Doctor, I am not strong, but I am fat.