Sharing of classic funny quotes in one sentence

I couldn’t find you on Baidu, so I had to go to Sogou. The following is a classic funny quote that I carefully compiled for you. I hope you like it.

A selection of classic funny quotes

1 People are like iron and food is like steel. Don’t pretend to be depressed all day long.

2 My heart is not a bus, it is not that you just sit down if there is space.

3 A person's life is like shit. Sometimes you have worked very hard but all that comes out is just a fart.

4 I am in the world, but there is no legend about me in the world!

5 What makes people unable to extricate themselves is not only teeth but also love.

The brothers in the 6 dormitory decided to impose the following punishment on Warden Zhang: Make him hold a telephone pole covered with advertisements for old Chinese medicine practitioners, and shout with tears and affection: My disease is finally cured!

7 I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

8 Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of every day.

9 Study deliberately, work deliberately, live deliberately, live like a human being deliberately!

10 Put down your airs as a college student and find a meal first!

The latest classic funny quotes

1 I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

2 Life *** is fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me.

3 Love means being mean, and being mean again and again. Whenever you stop being a bitch, a woman will come!

4 The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

5 The best way to ruin a good song is to set it as your wake-up alarm.

6 The difference between an affair and an affair is that the former is together and the latter is not.

7 As the saying goes, those who are close to pigs eat. It's not your fault that you like to eat. In the final analysis, it's because there are too many pigs around you.

8 The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor the unknown love, but the distance between the bed and the outside in winter.

9 While others hold hands, I hold my dog ??for a walk and a swim, and see who is unhappy and bites him twice.

10 In the chemistry class, the chemistry teacher asked: "What should you do if the gas leaks in your home?" Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.

11 The difference between classes: elementary school fees are paid, junior high school fees are pen, high school fees are brain, university fees are flow...

12 I have been crazy about poverty recently and have no money to buy a big ticket. If you want to eat cakes, you have to eat steamed buns; if you want to eat big cakes, you will flatten the steamed buns; if you want to eat noodles, you will use a comb to comb the steamed buns!

13 Now I know that the house slave Li Bai bought it It is an unfinished building, as evidenced by poems: There is bright moonlight in front of the bed - there is no window; It is suspected to be frost on the ground - the door is not installed; Looking up at the moon - the roof is open; Looking down to miss my hometown - I am very hurt.

14 People like me are ugly, have bad grades, have bad grades, have no courage and perseverance, are timid, have no special skills, can’t speak, are playful, have a bad memory, and can’t play games well. People who have no ambition and are afraid of difficulties and failure ~ I really don’t know what to do in the future.

15 We must know how to cherish and protect everyone around us. Because of the broken necks and looking back in the past life, we have met in this life.

16 Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, autumn is weak, and winter is just the right time to sleep.

17 "There is no grass anywhere in the world, why should you fall in love with a flower unrequitedly" actually means - "There are so many men in the world, why do you have to like one woman!"

18 A woman is plump when she is fat, slim when she is thin, slender when she is tall, and delicate when she is short. A fat man is a pig, a thin man is a rib, a tall man is a bamboo pole, and a short man is a winter melon!

19 The person burning incense is not necessarily a monk, it may also be a panda!

20 Who says I am fair? Thin and pretty~ I became good friends with him.

A collection of classic funny quotes

1 People are not smart, so they imitate others’ baldness!

2 The Internet is like a prison, originally it was stolen You come in with a wallet, and by the time you go out you have learned everything.

3 No one who is born is afraid of death, and no one who is afraid of death is born, so no one should pretend to be cool!

4 Remember what you should remember, Forget what needs to be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

5 Tears exist to prove that sadness is not an illusion.

6 There is a saying that if there is a man squatting down on the road to tie your shoelaces, you should marry such a man! I want to say, does it count to death?

7 My wife’s initials are LP, and my beautiful one’s initials are PL. I suddenly understood that a wife is often the opposite of being beautiful.

8 Squat down and touch your own shadow. I'm sorry for making you feel wronged.

9 I finally managed to remain indifferent to your illuminated avatar.

10 Don’t tell me you love me, I feel like vomiting after hearing this too much...

11 I sent my heart to the wrong address, can you please return it to me now?

12 Wandering around the streets, inquiring about the whereabouts of happiness...

13 There is only one road, in short, it is a dead end.

14 I actually have a pretty good figure, fat but not greasy.

15 I’m not a rag collector, so I can’t let you be there whenever you call!

16 Not every kind of milk is called Sauternes, and not everyone is as pure as me. .

17 You are so rich, why don’t you let ghosts push the wheels?

18 Don’t compare humans and dogs, dogs are at least loyal.

19 If you send a text message to the person you like and he doesn’t reply, don’t send it again.

20 Beautiful women generally think men are stupid, while men generally think beautiful women have pig brains.

21 A thousand years does not come out, but a Zhou Libo, you think I am a turtle!

22 I bow for so long, not to seek applause, in fact I mainly want everyone to check that my head is clear and clear.

23 Now our Chinese stock market, it should be reversed, has become an accident.

24 Generally those who are ignorant are leaders.

25 I am very attentive and I found that in the swimming pool, especially for female compatriots, the angle of the swimming trunks goes upwards by 20 degrees on average every five years.

26 The last time I opened it from the computer, I saw a poster of Li Yuchun. She is so beautiful, and the little girl is so sunny! Below is a slogan from the Family Planning Commission, which is called: Boys and girls are the same.

27 How can there be experts in the stock market? There can be no experts in the stock market! There are only losers and winners in the stock market.

28 There is a text called Mulan joins the army. At that time, even if I beat him to death, I didn’t believe how could Mulan join the army without being discovered! It’s impossible! I didn’t know until I met Li Yuchun later_Oh! This is It is technically feasible!

29 Nowadays, speculation is called intermediary.

30 The difference between talent and genius is only one "two". Therefore, talents are very good, but geniuses are always a bit lacking.