The interesting poisonous chicken soup that has become very popular in the circle of friends recently

1. As the saying goes, everything is difficult at the beginning. As long as you get through the beginning, you will find that it is also difficult in the middle and even harder at the end.

2. Kindergarten teacher: "There was a child who didn't wash his hands yesterday. I sent him home!" "Does this trick work?" "Everyone didn't wash their hands today!"

3. On Sunday, my colleagues came home to play and we were chatting enthusiastically. My daughter was mumbling in my ears but I didn’t know what to say. I said: Speak loudly, there are no outsiders. The daughter shouted loudly: Mom said, I won’t ask you to have guests at home for dinner today!

4. When you like someone, your brain will automatically add filters, whitening, and skin resurfacing. When you don’t like someone, it will change to the original image in seconds. Oh my god, was I blind back then?

5. I met an old man carrying something on the road. I wanted to go up and help him carry something, so I said casually: "Old man, let me help you carry it."

6. I especially hate the slogans in the canteen that read: It’s shameful to waste food. You make the food that the farmer uncle worked so hard to grow so unpalatable, and you still have the nerve to call others shameless!

7. The weather is just like women. It is fickle! Weather forecasts are just like men, unreliable!

8. The husband did something wrong and was scolded by his wife. Then they ignored each other until she farted, and then the husband farted too. The wife said: "Hey, you still dare to talk back?"

9. When I was in college, there was a female classmate who had a good relationship with me and was a bit ambiguous. One day in class, she quietly said to me: "Be my prince." I was excited. , blurted out: "Okay, Queen Mother."

10. We have a colleague who is allergic to mutton. His face becomes swollen when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats kebabs, and his face becomes swollen. The more powerful it is, the more authentic the mutton from that house is.

11. When life doesn’t go your way, don’t panic. Look at your wallet and savings and just cry.

12. What foreigners eat When your life is not going your way, don’t panic. Look at your wallet and savings and just cry. Using a knife and fork to eat is simply too weak, but our ancestors had the foresight to eat with chopsticks so that we can have one hand free to play with our mobile phones while eating.

13. Fish farming is very troublesome. I need to change the water once a week, which I often forget. Later, I had to change the fish once a week.

14. Don’t quarrel with someone who is uglier than you, otherwise others will think you are bullying her.

15. My friend came to the hospital and asked me how I got injured. I said it was my first time going to the skating rink and I didn’t know how to skate. After your sister-in-law taught me some tricks, I followed her and skated slowly. After a while, because I couldn't control my speed, I was a little too fast and tackled your sister-in-law from behind... Then, your sister-in-law fell back and sat directly on my face with her butt. Her nose was broken and her front teeth fell out...

15. Can money buy happiness? No. Having money itself is happiness!

Seventeen. A friend invited me to dinner at noon. When I was paying the bill, I saw him taking out the money very slowly, so I said, "How about I pay for it!" "How can you be so embarrassed! "So I put my hand in his pocket.

18. A man was bitten by a dog and rushed to the doctor for medicine. The doctor was getting ready to get off work, with an unhappy face: "Look what time it is, why are you here now?" "I'm sorry, I know, but dogs don't understand!"

Nineteen. Everything I do is a three-minute hit, except for one thing. That is, I never stop on the road to gaining weight!

20. All questions in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business". Suddenly I feel so busy.

Twenty-one. When I was a child, I compared my grades, and when I grew up, I compared my salary. Now I even compare the number of steps while walking. Let me go, I just want to be a trash that lives in peace with the world, but when I actually became trash, I realized that I even had to sort the trash!

Twenty-two. Others stay in bed because they are rich, so they can sleep as late as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so every meal I can save is a meal.

Twenty-three. The salesperson said to a customer who was smoking: "Sir, we prohibit smoking here." The customer replied: "These are the cigarettes I bought from you.

"Salesperson: "So what, we still sell toilet paper here! ”

Twenty-four. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a big Mercedes flew past me, splashing mud all over me. Looking at the big Ben going away, I secretly swore in my heart. , when I have money, I must buy a raincoat of my own.