What are the subtle languages about two-part allegorical sayings, proverbs, humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes, tips, advertising words and wonderful dialogues?

A jewelry store was stolen. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunk lying there. In order to find out the whereabouts of the jewels, the police found a bucket of cold water, pushed the drunk's head into the water and asked, "Did you see those jewels?"

The drunk opened his misty eyes and said, "Sorry, I really can't find it. You'd better change a diver! " "

A gambler took 1000 yuan from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back.

His wife quickly asked, "Did that big Bill have a baby?"

"Yes, yes," the gambler took out two 10 yuan bills from his pocket and said sadly, "Unfortunately, their' mother' passed away."

Wise move

A citizen of Moscow lost a parrot-a parrot that is good at swearing.

Who knows what will be said outside? The shopkeeper was very nervous. In order to avoid unnecessary trouble, he specially published an advertisement in a prestigious newspaper with a large circulation: "I lost a talking parrot, and I hereby solemnly declare that I disagree with its political views."

A family gave birth to a son, a gifted baby. After the baby is born, he can talk and recognize people.

Start your own family. Sadly, as soon as the child called his relatives, his relatives died immediately.

The child called out to Grandpa, who was drinking water and was immediately choked to death. The child called grandma, who was crossing the river.

Entered the threshold, fell down and died.

The father of the child saw that the child was so great. He looked at the child and was preparing to run away from home. I didn't expect the baby's

Eyes swept over and opened his mouth. Father trembled with fear. Sure enough, the child called "Dad". Father's heart

Suddenly sank to the bottom of the sea: "I can't die like this, I will die in bed!" " "Father climbed up his legs.

Get into bed and wait for death.

Waiting and waiting, my father waited for hour after hour, but he never died. Father's loyalty jumped up at once: "baby!" "

Can't beat his father! "。 Father spread it everywhere.

At this time, the neighbor's sister-in-law came crying to inform her father: "My poor husband was fine just now and suddenly cried."

I don't know how I died! "

Someone went to the laboratory, and the nurse pointed to the sign in front and said that non-undergraduate personnel were not allowed to enter.

The visitor was furious and scolded, "All I have to do is take a urine test and get a fucking bachelor's degree."

The wife asked her husband: Do you like my gentleness and loveliness or my cleverness and beauty?

Husband: I like your sense of humor!

1. What kind of bird are you?

The flagpole erected 2.800 years ago-the old bachelor!

3. Eggs laid by turtles-asshole!

There is a fire in the cloth bag-burn it!

5. Flies gather honey-pretend to be crazy (bees)

6. There is water in the teapot-get out!

7. The fire destroyed the bamboo forest-a bachelor!

8. Sheets are used as diapers-generous enough!

9. Chef's March-Take the pot for others.

10. From Henan to Hunan-even harder!

1 1 .1234567-Wang (forgot) eight!

12. 12356- None (4)

13. Full of straw bags!

14. The tailor didn't take a ruler-deliberately broke (quantity)

15. Cao Pi's money-not necessarily (Wei coins)

16. "Hundred Family Names" except Zhao-opening is money!

17.axe(x) shines on people-I see through you!

18. Unplug the plug without dripping-die hard!

19. The zebra's head-head is right!

20. The announcer came on stage-flirting

2 1. Drink water through your nostrils-it's terrible!

22. Car accident-taking advantage of people's danger!

23. Guards on the Wall-Master (Guard)

24. Singing leg cramps-I can't get off the stage!

25. The parturient is in the delivery room-it's time for a promotion!

26. Powder the coffin-save face!

27. Silkworm baby's mouth-export into poetry (silk)!

28. Cicada is not called Cicada-Cicada!

29. Tears of singing opera-touching.

30. Eating walnuts must be smashed!

3 1. The garbage in the kitchen is negligible

32. Toads in Guangzhou are difficult to deal with!

33. Protect your eyesight \ Be careful!

34. The firecracker shop caught fire. Celebrate yourself!

35. It makes no difference to hold a child to push the mill.

36. Doctors make money by selling coffins.

37. The hut is equipped with a daylight (crossing) day.

38. The notice is posted on the roof \ God knows!

39. Dirty fucking crying. Dirty!

40. Light mosquito-repellent incense under the bed.

Fifteen buckets draw water-seven up and eight down.

Half cotton.-no way. (No bullets)

Monks holding umbrellas-breaking the law and discipline. (hairless and irregular)

December weather-hands and feet. Frozen hands and feet.

A father kowtows to his son-hang it all. There is no such gift.

Throwing stones in public toilets-causing public outrage. (causing male feces).

Grandma's dead son-hopeless. (No uncle).

The husband slapped a face. (wife is cold).

The scholar's empty coffin was buried-defiant. There is no one in the Woods.

Eight-pronged approach-rules. (turtle lifts).

Peanuts-you must make noise. I have to blow it up.

The shoemaker doesn't have an awl-that's good. (needle and thread)

It is suitable for any girl to marry Zheng Jia. (Zheng Heshi).

The monk's house.-great. (temple)

Wash Huang Lian by the river-why bother? The river is bitter.

Dreams become butterflies-daydreams. (Want to fly).

Monkeys learn to walk-pretend. (fake orangutan).

Hardcover maotai-long time. (Good wine)

Spider trawl-selfish. (from silk).

The blind lead the blind-busy is busy. (Blind plus blind).

Walking in the watermelon field. (a circle where the left and right sides intersect).

Take off your old shoes and put on new ones-turn over a new leaf. (changing shoes).

Sacks and straw bags-each generation is not as good as the next. One bag is not as good as one.

I remember the beans at the bottom of the bowl. (The lines are in the eyes).

Selling cloth without feet-bad intentions. (deliberate accident).

The poor carpenter started his business-only one sentence. There is only a saw.

Brick kiln fire-rumor. (kiln smoke).

No oil lamp-fault. (fee).

Zhong Kui married his sister-fooling around. (ghost marriage)

The dung boat crossed the river-pretending to be dead. (loading shit).

Sticking to the nest is mixed with Huang Lian's sufferings year after year. (sticky and sticky).

Open the drawer of the drugstore-have fun. (looking for pills)

Frogs dive well.-I don't understand. (poop-poop).

Riding a horse in an opera-no (walking)

Saute pickles without soy sauce-as promised. Salt comes first.

From Henan to Hunan-it is even more difficult. (South Canada).

Carry a stone with a lantern.-do it. (copy).

The earth temple was washed away by the flood-be careful. (Liu Shen).

Whipping in the fields.-bragging. (urging cattle).

The backbone of children-the generation of small people. The villain's back.

Aviation somersault-handstand. (inverted flight test).

The mouse fell into the water tank-fashionable. (wet hair).

The old monk lives in a cave-there is nothing. (No temple).

The cargo ship is at sea.-amateurs. (foreign airlines).

Burn the flagpole-sigh. (long charcoal).

Weasel in the henhouse-speculation. (stealing chickens).

Soak the stone in the sauce jar-it's a long story. A kind of salt is difficult to put in.

There is a reason for setting off firecrackers in the well. (the voice is mellow).

It is not easy for an old hen to hold an empty nest. (No eggs).

Eat ginseng.-spare. (added).

The mother of the imperial master-too thick-skinned. (Queen Mother Pi).

Millennium stone Buddha statue-honest man. (Old Stone Man).

Bring a sheep into the photo studio-make a fool of yourself. (Make a sheep face)

Growing vegetables on the wall-no chance. There is no garden.

Chatting with a crazy fan. (rumor)

Twelve taels of silver-for sure. (one ingot).

Sleep in the toilet-not far from death. It's not far from shit

Tang Priest's book is serious. A true sutra

Eating a small bowl depends on the weather. (author Tim).

The meat pot was thrown into the river-groggy. (heavy meat).

The tortoise has a chicken feather in its belly-it's anxious to come back. The turtle's heart is like an arrow.

There is a hole behind the temple.-Great. The temple is finished.

Birthday star Qi Xianhe-No road. No deer.

Two payments 18 dollars-I've heard about it for a long time. (nine articles).

Girls in dye houses naturally don't wear white shoes. (self-dyeing).

Wear a pigtail in the back-it's against the law and discipline. (tail hair disorder).

The stove turned over-bad luck. (Pour coal).

Smoke in the rice cooker-confused. The rice is burnt.

My nephew plays with lanterns as usual (uncle)

Confucius moved-all lost (book)

Burning charcoal with a flagpole (sigh)

Shut the knife in the cesspit-literature (smell) is not good, and martial arts (dance) is not good.

Onion mixed with tofu-one transparent (green) and two white.

Here are some common two-part allegorical sayings:

Dumb people eat Rhizoma Coptidis-you can't tell the pain.

A scholar met a soldier-I'm not sure.

A bachelor teaches a boy-stingy and greedy.

Money belongs to a bachelor-once you leave, there is no turning back.

Blind people eat soup-do you know what they are?

Monks in Zhang Er-at a loss.

Politeness and honesty-shameless

The mason opened the door-a man living his own life.

You can't steal chickens-you lost rice, that is, you didn't benefit, but suffered.

Throw bombs in the toilet-arouse people's feces (anger)

Death married a woman-a ghost.

The following are common two-part allegorical sayings in Cantonese:

Cowhide lanterns-the focus is very vague

Chopping wood under the bed-beating the board, that is, getting into trouble.

The wife bears the cover-yin gong, that is, pity.

The husband fanned the flames-bleak (the wife is cold), that is, poor.

One-eyed guy's wife-a look at the sun

Winter salted duck-get a word

Overnight fried ghost-no anger

Sweet potato falls into air furnace-stew

Wet Elemene-Two-end Pumping

Watermelon hits the dog-I didn't see it.

Open henhouse-self-entry

The white eel went to the beach-it was either dead or already dead.

Burning flagpole-there is a long row of charcoal (sigh)

Chaozhou music-take care of yourself

He wireless (wet cotton)-no play, that is, impeccable.

African monks-annoying (black monks) means annoying.

Fish sellers bathe/fish sellers bathe themselves-it's tasteless.

Bow ruler-measuring water

Aram married Ali-tired and tired

Pork is too thick-everyone has a share.

Fried dumplings on New Year's Eve-I have them.

Old man's burial settlement

Mongolian Sweat-Kublai Khan: Being beaten in the ass (suddenly = ass; Fierce = cracked)

Draw water with a bamboo basket-draw water with a sieve.

Flies fly into the garden-pretend to be crazy (pretend to be bees)

Handsome guys dance-more handsome

Gold is like gold and jade is like jade.

Eight mature, 100%; Ten mature, twenty percent lost.

Steer calmly, but steer the ship safely.

White rice is delicious, but grain fields are difficult to grow.

Even if it rains for a hundred days, it will clear up one day.

Seeing is better than watching, and seeing is better than doing.

The black sheep spend money like water, and the family cherishes dung like gold.

Help people to the end, save people to the end.

Help others forget, others help themselves remember.

Bring enough food to satisfy hunger, and bring an umbrella on sunny days.

It's easy to get sick if you drink and eat, so you can keep healthy regularly and quantitatively.

There is no discussion behind, no opinion in person.

Stupid people get up first, and stupid birds leave the forest early.

The whipped fast horse is a busy man looking for something.

Ask questions while learning, and you will learn.

Illness enters through the mouth and cold comes out from the feet.

A close mouth catches no flies.

If you get well, you won't be treated, and no one will be treated next time.

When you are in a hurry, you will burn incense in every temple.

Illness comes on horseback and goes on foot.

The patient has many hearts and many busy people.

Strike while the iron is hot and learn while you are young.

It's hard to practice courage without taking three risks.

If you don't take charge, you don't know the daily necessities, and if you don't raise children, you don't know your parents' kindness.

Don't take off your shoes before you reach the river.

Don't pretend to know, it will never work.

Without rules, there would be no Fiona Fang.

Don't burn incense to offend God, and don't talk to offend others.

People who can't do small things can't do big things.

Don't disperse the eagle until you see the rabbit.

Without the cold of winter, I don't know if spring is warm.

It must be counted, not all.

No polishing, no refining, no sweat.

I'm not afraid that Pepsi will suffer, but I'm afraid that I'll be dissuaded.

Not afraid of not knowing the goods, but afraid of shopping around.

Not afraid to wear late, but afraid to take off early.

I am not afraid of being poor at home, but I am afraid of being lazy.

I'm not afraid of the long road, but I'm afraid of being old.

Not afraid of chaos, I am afraid that I will not investigate.

If you are not afraid of slowness, you are afraid of standing; One stop, two and a half miles.

Not afraid of being old, but afraid of lying down.

Not afraid of disrespect, but afraid of dishonesty.

I'm not afraid to come uninvited, but I'm afraid I'm not skilled.

Not afraid of high mountains, but afraid of weak feet.

I'm not afraid of being a teenager, but I'm afraid of being old and poor.

If you are not afraid of difficulties, you are afraid of laziness.

Not afraid of freezing in the cold, I am afraid that my hands and feet will not work.

I'm not afraid of learning, but I'm afraid of insincerity.

Not afraid of shallow knowledge, but afraid of short ambition.

Not afraid of 10 thousand, just in case.

No attempt, no gain.

Don't take the burden, don't know the weight, don't walk far, don't know the distance.

If an old dog barks, he will give advice.

If you don't want to be cheap, don't be cheated.

If you don't laugh, you can't live.

There are no pigs in the trough, and dogs eat dogs unevenly.

If grass does not germinate unintentionally, if people do not develop unintentionally.

Greedy people have no food at home, and lazy people have no firewood at home.

There are no winners in gambling.

Often scold not surprised, often fight not afraid.

People often say that a smooth mouth is not stupid.

I often think about it all the time, but I don't think about it all the time.

The Yangtze river does not refuse to trickle, and Mount Tai does not choose earth and stone.

May is long, October is short, and February is neither long nor short.

A eldest brother is like a father, and a sister-in-law is better than a mother.

Some people in the court are good officials, and there are dogs at home to watch the door.

In the end, everything will work out.

Cars have lanes and horses have roads.

Support dysentery, hungry typhoid fever.

Support the brave and starve the timid.

Weighing scale can be weighed and words can inspire people.

Although its weight is small, it can weigh up to 1000 pounds.

If you are not poor in food and clothing, you will not be poor all your life.

There is nothing to say when eating and nothing to say when sleeping.

Eat and drink, people go downhill.

Eat rice and be reasonable.

Wet your mouth when eating and your hands when washing your face.

Eat to prevent choking and walk to prevent falling.

Drink soup first, and you won't get hurt when you get old.

Eat like a dragon and work like a bug.

The steamed bread you eat is not fragrant, and the sugarcane you chew is not sweet.

If you drink wine instead of vegetables, you will get drunk soon.

Eating bran rice makes everyone healthy.

It is short to eat someone's mouth and hold someone's hand.

A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit.

It is better to work late than early, and it is better to work hard than to work skillfully.

Shorter feet and longer inches.

It is unfilial to pet a dog on the stove.

Sweating is not windward, and walking is not concave.

Three days after becoming a monk, the Buddha is in front; After being a monk for three years, the Buddha is in the west.

Go out and watch the sky, cook and watch the fire.

Depend on friends when you go out and parents at home.

When you go out to ask for directions, do as the Romans do and ask the customs.

The bow of the boat sits firmly, not afraid of the wind.

The ship has a deadweight of 1000 pounds, with one person at the helm.

Sore is afraid of fame, and illness is afraid of anonymity.

It takes a hundred years to start a business, and only one day to fail.

( 1)

A patient came to see a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?

Patient: Because I am a bird.

(2)

A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient, What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear.

The doctor listened: hmm. It is normal.

The doctor asked again, "what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?" “

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

(3)

There are two mental patients. They escaped from the hospital.

They run and run. They climbed the tree.

One of them jumped from the tree.

Roll, roll.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, Hey-why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no-good-ah-

I'm not familiar with it.

(4)

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start by getting to know her.

So the doctor was dressed in black and squatted there with her with a black umbrella.

They were silent for a month.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

(5)

A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital at the meeting. The dean said, "There is a very important leader coming to visit this afternoon, and all people should go to the door to meet him. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. Everyone should clap together when I cough. The more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I have to stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, I can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person lives up to expectations, no one will eat buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leaders were infected by the warm atmosphere, smiling and applauding with everyone to enter the hospital. Seeing the leader enter the hospital, the dean stamped his foot, and all the applause stopped, which was very neat. Only the leaders are still smiling and clapping.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "Don't you want to eat steamed bread?" ! ! ! "

(6)

Mental patient a stole the phone book from the nurse's office back to the ward. He asked B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ?

B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are a few characters. " .

At this time, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "

(7)

The doctor in the mental hospital will talk with a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

After hearing this, the doctor found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. How many patients have passed away?

A few months later, the doctor felt that the patient seemed ready to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: Get a job.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Making money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: New house.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take out the rubber band on your underwear, make a slingshot, and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital.

(8)

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital at once."

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning." "Come on, send him here quickly!" A gentleman was silent for a while: "So … I don't have a toilet?"

(9)

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see that this is an empty fish tank? "

( 10)

There is a mental hospital where many mental patients live.

One day, the dean was there, and in order to see the recovery of the patients, he thought of a way. He said to these patients, come here, and drew a door on the wall, saying, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home."

As soon as the psychopaths heard the news, they flocked around the painted door. The dean was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in the original position, feeling OK. He went up to him and asked, "Why don't you open the door?"

He looked at the dean and said something, which made him laugh and cry.

The patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key here."

( 1 1)

There is a mental hospital where two mental patients can be discharged, but the dean is afraid that they will commit another crime, so he warns them: "If any of you commit another crime, the other person should call the hospital, or you are not allowed to leave the hospital!"

They all agreed.

One day, the hospital suddenly called: "Hello! Hey! Hey! My companion suddenly ran to the table and said he was a desk lamp! "

"Used to be! Then why don't you send him back quickly! "

"But if I send him back, there will be no desk lamp!"

"......"

( 12)

Mental patients in hospitals usually have a worship complex for doctors or nurses.

One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor. ...

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me?

Dr. Lan pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and avoid getting worse).

Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you. ...

In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished. )

Female patient: Dr. Lan, are you saying that you don't love me?

Dr. Lan (brooding): Hmm ... hmm ... hmm ...

Female patient: Nothing ... I love Dr. Chen ...

Shortly after Hua Tuo's death, Cao Cao had a headache and almost didn't want to live. He struggled and rolled around, pitiful. Cao Pi knelt on his couch when he heard the news, but there was nothing he could do but cry. When Mrs. Bian arrived and saw this shape, she scolded, "Why don't you ask Hua Tuo, the imperial doctor, to treat you?" Cao Pi wiped his face with long sleeves and sobbed, "I ... my father just ... just killed him!" " "

When a person says to you, "I'm not bragging," he will start bragging; When a person says to you, "I'm not criticizing you," he will start criticizing you. When a person says to you, "I didn't hit you," he will start hitting you. . .