Funny text message: What is the difference between a person without dreams and a person who is carefree?

1. Auntie Cleaning, why did you just watch me enter the men’s room without stopping me! ! ! I was trapped in there for 20 minutes. In the meantime, five or six boys came in to use the toilet, and they were all humming. Is that okay? The point is, the big brother in the cubicle next to you, are you constipated? If you knew that there was a girl in the cubicle next to you, you wouldn't be so lively! ! ! I am really smoked to death by you! ! !

2. "Husband, lend me some of the beef in your bowl. I will take a photo and return it to you."

"After taking the photo, you can return the meat to me. Right?"

"It's obviously mine, there are pictures and the truth!"

3. I watched a love idol drama on a certain channel during my lunch break yesterday. . . . . The final ending is a proposal, with an overwhelming amount of roses. Seeing this, a female colleague muttered: So uncreative. If my boyfriend proposes to me, all he has to do is hand him a roast chicken from behind. . . Roast chicken. . . .

4. Husband: "Honey, houses in Beijing are too expensive. From now on we will buy a 4-square-meter house with a 4-square-meter bed and a TV on the wall." Wife: "Okay. , I don’t have any objection to the size of the house, but I’m afraid you can’t do this when you go to bed as soon as you get home.” Husband: “…”

5. Take the bus to work in the morning, and when you cross the intersection. A handsome teenage boy wanted to cross the zebra crossing. The driver screeched to the brakes, then stretched out his head and asked gently: Handsome boy, do you have a girlfriend? The guy was less than ten centimeters away from the front of the car. He was probably frightened and he hesitated and said: No, no. The driver's face changed and he roared: Damn it! You don’t even have a girlfriend, so why don’t you look at the traffic light? If you get hit and killed, don’t you feel that your life was wasted? The whole car burst out laughing...

6. If a person does not have dreams, he will not be carefree. What's the difference?

7. Looking at some lazy profiles, almost all ethnic minorities in our country can be summarized in twelve words: hardworking and brave, warm and hospitable, good at singing and dancing.

8. My uncle owns a clothing factory. I was playing in his office yesterday and saw the master mechanic teaching his apprentice, "How many times have I told you! Don't fix the machine for a beautiful girl." The screws are so tight. If the screws are tightened, the machine will not break. If the machine does not break, we will have no excuse to get close to them!"

9. The host is a very bad sleeper, so he set the alarm clock! A very loud and scary ghost screamed. I was just waiting for the bus in the waiting hall. The bus would arrive in an hour, so I set an alarm clock and squinted for a while. I was sleeping soundly. Then there was a heartbreaking ghost scream in my ears. I just turned it off. The phone call hit the face of the elder brother sitting across from me and knocked his glasses off...Brother, don't do it. I didn't mean it. Brother...listen to my explanation...brother!

10. The kidnapper called: "I have your wife in my hands. I can collect 1 million within 24 hours, or I'll give you the money." "The money is fine, but can I give it to you a few days later?" "Why?" "I want to be quiet for a few days."

11. I borrowed money from my brother, and my brother gave me three hundred. When my sister-in-law found out, she said, "She is your sister." Ah! Isn’t this enough? Take out the private money you have hidden and lend her 1,500!”

My brother was embarrassed, so he lent me the private money he had saved through frugality. .

When leaving, my sister-in-law warned: "When you have money, you can transfer it to me on WeChat or Alipay."

From the Internet