Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - Classic connotation joke
Classic connotation joke
Joke refers to the abbreviation of story or joke. Below I will bring you a classic connotation paragraph, and welcome you to read it.
Classic connotation 1: 1. If you offend your boss, all you lose is a job; If you offend the customer, all you lose is an order; Yes, there is only one person in the world who will be offended: you stare at her severely, you complain to her, you refute her loudly, and even break a bowl in her face, she won't hate you, for the simple reason that she is your mother.
Wukong and Tang Priest went to a TV station together. If you are the one, Wukong came on stage and all 24 lights went out. Reason: 1. No house, no car, only a broken stick. 2. Occupational hazards of bodyguards. 3. Always hitting goblins, not being gentle with girls. 4. Being trapped in prison and being pressed under Wuzhishan for 500 years. The Tang Priest came on stage, wow! The lights are all on. Reason: 1. Civil servants; 2. Brother Huang, backstage is the hardest. 3. Proficient in Sanskrit and other foreign languages. 4. Very handsome. 5. The most crucial point: BMW!
3. There is a man named Luo Zhen. He married a wife and asked you to take care of her. He also gave birth to a son. This is the so-called trouble. One day the trouble disappeared! The couple went to report the case. The policeman asked his father, what's your name? Dad said: It's really embarrassing. The policeman was angry, and then he asked his mother's name. Mom said: I want you to take care of it. The policeman was very angry and said, What are you doing? The couple said: nothing to look for.
4. Who did you meet after running for a year? A treasure, who is not the end of the world; A little rhinoceros, who thought of it by the railing; A kind of acacia, who is the leisure worry for; A bright moon, who enjoys lofty sentiments; A winter snow, who was forgotten by the smoke waves; A pot of turbid wine, who is drunk when you meet; A lifetime of floating life, who is frivolous; A short message, who do I miss; Think about it, who is who; One collar, who will forward the reply .....
Reporter: Seriously, can you really change a baby's diaper? Yao Ming: Why don't you lie down and I'll change it for you! To tell you the truth, I can change diapers and feed babies with one foot. Reporter: I don't believe it! Yao Ming: Really, you don't even have to turn on the light. Reporter: Impossible! What do you suggest? Yao Ming: Just wake up your daughter-in-law with one foot.
Classic connotation the second paragraph: too witty
A buddy sent a small Weibo: "Girls with big breasts are idiots, because the peripheral nerves are broken, so they are all blocked." Then he used a large Weibo to pay attention to all the girls who scolded him in the comments and blacked out the girls who praised him in the comments. ...
As for locking me up?
A thief was caught by the patrol for stealing fruit and wanted to be locked up. The thief said confidently, "I just stole 20 kilograms of mangosteen." As for being locked up? " The patrol team said unhurriedly, "A monkey once stole a peach and was locked up for 500 years."
Radish and vegetables have their own tastes.
Men chase goddess, women chase male gods, fake mothers chase female men, women chase little loli, and shemale chases eunuchs.
The fundamental difference between man and monkey.
"Now, please look at the card in my hand. There is a picture of a monkey and a man on it. My first question is, can you explain the fundamental difference between humans and monkeys in one sentence-please answer. " Monkeys have hair all over their bodies, but people only have hair in a few places. ""Correct answer, score. Next, I asked the second question, or this card. Is this monkey and this person thick-skinned, or is this person thick-skinned? Please answer "people are thick-skinned." "Wrong answer-points will be deducted." "That's right. You are so thick-skinned. Monkeys' faces are always red, while people are hardly red and obviously thicker than monkeys. "
If you can't eat grapes, you say grapes are sour.
The hungry fox saw a string of crystal clear grapes hanging on the grape rack, and his mouth watered. He wants to pick it and eat it, but he can't. After reading it for a while, I left. He comforted himself as he walked, saying, "This grape is not ripe yet. It must be sour. "
to gild the lily
A snake and a lizard were arguing about a painting. The lizard said, "This picture shows that I have legs." The snake said, "This photo is mine. This is redundant. "
A drunk meets a drunk.
A drunk stumbled out of the bar and walked to a newly dug grave. He lost his balance and fell. There was a pool of water in the grave, and he cried all night, "Help! When the bar closed, another drunk passed by and heard the noise. He went to the open grave, lowered his head and said, "Fool, you kicked all the dirt off your body. Can you not be cold?"? "
Lengthened tofu
In the restaurant, a man pointed to a piece of tofu more than two meters long in the dish and shouted, "What ear are you?"! I ordered homemade tofu! " The chef in the restaurant heard this and thought, "Isn't this long enough?". . 。”
The shorter the better.
Teacher: "Please make sentences with" you "and" you ". The shorter the sentence, the better! " Xiao Ming: "Double!" Teacher: "That makes sense. I can't find a reason to let you go out! " "
Mysterious man
It is said that the fat man's Tintin is small and the big nose's Tintin is big. Think of Bajie, how fascinating!
Aunt Square Dance surprised the county government.
At the entrance of the yamen, an old woman waved a pair of hammers and drums. Bao Zheng came out and asked, "What grievances do you have?" The old woman said, "If there is no injustice, I will make a rhythm and the sisters will dance here."
New laundry method of little dragon girl
Yang Guo and Miss Xiaolong lived happily together after they returned to the mountains. One morning, Yang Guo got up and found his clothes extraordinarily clean. She asked the little dragon girl if she had washed it. Little dragon girl smiled shyly and said that she used a new formula that didn't hurt her hands this time. After a long time, Yang Guo asked, Where is my sculpture?
Choose a dog!
Pigs and dogs are friends. One day, the pig complained to the dog, "What a terrible weather! "Hot as a dog! The dog was surprised: you are a dead pig! You are not afraid of boiling water. Are you afraid of heat?
Stick out your tongue and breathe quickly.
I just told my colleague, "You can't breathe quickly with your tongue out." Then he tried it and seemed to understand something. Stop talking and chase me for ten minutes.
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