A divorce letter to his wife (asking for a divorce from his wife)

My wife and I fell in love freely and got married. I spent nearly half a year in my married life. Since my wife got pregnant and gave birth to a child, the contradiction between me and my wife has become more and more. Of course, all contradictions are reflected in the trivial matters of life.

When my married life came to the sixth year, I met a woman who "understood" me at work. During this period, we often eat together, and I often complain about my unhappy married life in front of her. In the meantime, she will also give me a lot of relief. After a long time, I found that I fell in love with her.

I once asked this girl I like: If my wife and I divorce one day, will you consider marrying me? The girl I like replied to me like this: Why don't we just be friends to talk to? Besides, your wife and children are innocent.

Maybe because I liked it so much, I told my wife that I didn't love her. In this regard, my wife also agreed to divorce me, provided that I need to go out clean. My wife's original words at that time: As long as you are willing to leave home clean, we can get a divorce at any time.

When my wife and I first got married, my parents took out all their savings to help us in mortgage to buy a house. After marriage, my wife and I shared the monthly mortgage, knowing that it was not easy to buy a house. If I go out clean for the girl I like, then buying a house will become a more realistic problem, at least I won't have the strength in recent years. Therefore, I am worried that after I leave home for the girl I like, our relationship will eventually be defeated by material things.

I am ambivalent now: I have a material connection with my wife and children and an emotional connection with the girl I like. I want to ask, how should I choose? Another thing that worries me is: If my wife and I divorce, will the girl I like reunite with me?

Emotional analysis of Li Muzi-mei;

At the beginning, you and your wife were free to fall in love and get married. I believe there are some sweet times during your love and early marriage, but with the progress of marriage, especially after having children, there will definitely be some grounded needs, disputes and frictions between husband and wife, which will make you and your wife complain and dislike each other more. Maybe the daily deduction between you and your wife is the real life of marriage. However, many people are so obsessed with the so-called romance in marriage life that when marriage life enters a relatively grounded state, people will feel unhappy in marriage life.

In fact, everyone can't escape fate: when two people are together for a long time, their feelings will naturally fade, so there will be more habits and feelings between them. It means that most people have established a love relationship because they like it or like it. In the long marriage process, everyone only maintains a cooperative relationship. During this period, both sides should complete the important task of giving birth to children, or become helpers in each other's life and work. Therefore, we should calmly accept the quarrel between husband and wife, or accept the law of high feelings and low feelings, or calmly face the dullness of married life.

Falling in love with someone, in the end, is just fighting with this person. In the meantime, the ability to make money or the help of parents will be particularly important. In fact, when you married your wife, you had squeezed all your parents' savings and bought you a house. Let's not talk about whether the girl you like will get back together with you after your divorce from your wife. Just consider your future life from the perspective of going out clean: are you willing to live a temporary rental life for love? After all, you are past the age when you can make money freely and freely, so it is difficult to make money just by daydreaming. Therefore, you should clearly understand that it is a risky decision to leave home for the girl you like.

Let's discuss the attitude of the girl you like to you again: in your relationship with your wife, she is just an outsider, so she can give you a more emotional understanding of your marriage life. In fact, about feelings, are the fans of the authorities and outsiders not clear? Therefore, if you just look for a reasonable girl, they will give you a more objective evaluation of your married life, and one after another. Therefore, in other people's emotional life, we are easy to be the sensible gentleman or sensible lady. What I want to say is that this is not love. At best, just face a person who has nothing to do with himself and show his due rationality.

People often have an illusion about marriage, thinking that other people's lovers are particularly excellent, while their own lovers have too many shortcomings. What I want to say is that only when a person really loves you will he have the capital to importune in front of you. If he doesn't love you, he will show a sensible and rational state in front of you. Therefore, marriage is a mixture of too many elements. Don't compare the state after marriage with the period of love. If a person only wants to enjoy the sweetness brought by love, then don't get married at all. When a relationship begins to decline, a new person falls in love again. The key is that it is difficult to precipitate a heart-to-heart relationship in the end.

I don't think the girl you like gives you love. At best, I just don't hate being rational in your situation. Therefore, what people in Fortress Besieged need to understand is that women who don't love you will be very sensible in front of you. In view of the above situation, regarding your existing troubles, my suggestions are: 1) Ensure the integrity of your marriage, and thank your wife for not forcibly divorcing you after learning of your emotional breakdown; 2) Don't keep in touch with the girl you like. If you have marital problems in the future, you can talk to your buddies and you will find that everyone's marital status will not be much worse; 3) Think more about the wife's contribution to married life and feel the happiness of plain life with your heart.

Editor's note:

Many people's lives, whether at work or after work, are basically simple repetitions, so that we will feel that life is a bit boring. Therefore, we will emphasize one thing: there should be some sense of ceremony in life. The little surprise brought by these ceremonial feelings is the continuous accumulation of life fun. To this end, we should not only accept our own ordinary, but also accept the dullness of life.

Emotional attributes: When I first met someone I like, I especially wanted to catch up with each other; Just catching up with each other, I can't wait to stick with each other for 24 hours; When feelings reach a certain level, there will be an impulse to marry each other; After marriage, two people will be tired of aesthetics because they have been together for a long time, or they will have some boredom because of the quarrel of trivial matters in life. Most emotions are like this. In this case, being able to stick to a relationship in a plain life is the real skill.

(The picture comes from the Internet, and the picture has nothing to do with it.)