As a teacher, how to communicate with parents?

1, let students feel your love.

Case "the first category"

Through this case, students feel equal, I respect them, I accept him, students accept me, we are friends, we have body language communication, and we create a harmonious atmosphere. My classmates felt my love and gave it to me. These are prerequisites for effective communication.

Let parents know that you love their children.

Case "Instructions for Parents"

This is a notice to a delayed student. It says: Your pearly eyes are full of enthusiasm and wisdom. In class, you are witty, active, original and admirable. Everyone was moved by the affectionate and beautiful speech on the field. If we speed up a little on a good basis, what can we criticize?

This notice talked about the advantages of children, talked about future expectations, and encouraged children. Why are parents moved? Parents are happy for their children's Excellence. Parents' greatest wish is that their children are good. The teacher has just talked about the advantages of so many children. Will parents be unhappy? Your care for your children moved your parents. If the teacher doesn't pay attention to this child, how can he know that he has so many advantages? Parents are moved by your encouragement to their children. You not only inspire students, but also encourage parents to work harder to educate their children in the future. Like the above two cases, it is effective communication, because teachers effectively express their own information, and the reactions of students and parents are exactly what teachers expect.

Second, change the ways and habits that are not conducive to communication.

The teacher's evaluation is the benchmark of a student's life. He uses your evaluation to measure his life and life.

Children's good and bad are hypnotized by parents and teachers. You always send a positive message, and he will move in a positive direction. If you send him negative information, he will go in a negative direction. Do we hypnotize students with negative information in our usual teaching and communication?

Negative confirmation: you are good at everything except your study. No one should play with him or her, lest you learn badly. You are an idiot. You are the worst in the class. You are not the material for writing a composition at all. You sing badly and have a loud voice. Shut up! Share stories

Destructive criticism: You are lying. You are a thief. You are a liar. (This is personal) You will go to jail sooner or later. (This is a vicious remark) Go to hell! (This is very dangerous)

Malignant comparison: you are too tired to catch up with so-and-so. You compare with others. Students who are compared in this way will feel inferior and powerless. His relationship with that classmate has deteriorated, and he hates that teacher.

Conditional love: I'll let you sit in the front row if you do well in this exam, and I'll sit in the back row if you don't. Let the students feel that only when I study hard can the teacher love me, and the teacher's love is conditional.

High-pressure management: what teachers say is authority, and what students must carry out, whether students accept or object, is high-pressure management.

Not taking responsibility: In my consulting work, many students reported that what they could not accept most was that the teacher was wrong, but they refused to admit their mistakes and suppressed us with violence. We dare not refute, but we are unconvinced. Therefore, our teacher must find the right time to admit his mistake when he does something wrong. This will not only lower the status of teachers in students' minds, but also establish and improve your status in children's minds. Let the students learn from you, and don't be afraid to take responsibility.

Anxious to get points: Many parents and teachers have said that as long as you study hard, you don't have to worry about anything else. This means telling children that you are not a person, but a learning machine. (Interactive) Don't just focus on exam results, please take a long-term view of students.

A child lives in such an environment every day, with negative affirmation, destructive criticism, vicious comparison, conditional love, eagerness to get points, high-pressure management and so on. And the teacher labels the children as "you are stupid, you are bad, you are not good enough, you are nothing", which means that the teacher is involved in creating problems and making change more difficult. You are classifying people's weaknesses and dilemmas, which will make the problems transparent and more difficult to deal with. Labeled children will feel inferior, pessimistic, over-sensitive, insecure, negative, rebellious, evasive, failed and withdrawn, and their whole sense of self-worth will be greatly reduced. What we have to do is not to label the students, but to cooperate with them to discover their advantages, help them understand that they are good, and let the students see their own strength and believe that they can be better.

Great education teaches the heart, and the education we want to do is the education of the soul, in order to let children get a successful and happy life in the future. Education is the education of love. In fact, the teacher's intentions are good, but students can't feel the teacher's love. Is this a successful education? Is it an effective education? Do you think this kind of communication can make children learn well, have high quality, and be successful and happy? This is not the reaction and effect we want, is it? If your children receive these negative messages from you every day, will the students still have a good relationship with you and be willing to learn what you teach? Therefore, in the future teaching work, we must delete negative affirmation, destructive criticism, vicious comparison, conditional liking, eager to score points and high-pressure management without responsibility, which are not conducive to communication. Let's stop hypnotizing our children with these negative information.

Fourth, sow seeds that are beneficial to children and parents.

Share the story "Give him what he needs"

I want to ask: "Does the teacher want to force the students to move forward, or should he give them what they need to lead them forward?" ?

What students need is unconditional love, praise, encouragement, positive affirmation, respect, trust and understanding of correct criticism.

Unconditional love: "Although you are wrong in this matter, you are always the best in the teacher's heart". Whether your exam results are good or not will not affect your mother's love for you. You accept and love your child, whether he is good or bad.

Praise: Always talk about praise, and make it a habit for teachers to praise children. Praise is about facts and actions, that is, you must say what you have done well and praise the details. Your praise will change a person's mood all day.

Encouragement: there are problems that need to be encouraged, and they need to be encouraged at ordinary times. (Reading the text)

Encouragement is not only verbal encouragement, but also tone, eyes and body encouragement.

An American psychologist published his research experience many years ago. The sources of communication effect are: the literal meaning in communication accounts for 7%, the phonetic intonation in communication accounts for 38%, and the body language in communication accounts for 55%. We usually give our children a hug, a smile, a pat on the shoulder and a thumbs-up, which are all encouragement to students.

Positive confirmation (a way to teach children self-motivation and self-confirmation): You are great! Your handwriting is like a calligrapher. You are a positive person, and you are an excellent child. What kind of person do you want a student to be? Just confirm him in that direction.

Respect: You should treat students as people who are completely equal to you. You don't force him, you don't abuse him, you respect him and let him open his heart. "I'll teach you a big secret of educating children. If you treat students like superiors, there will be no problem between you. "

A truly educated person is to treat children and people below him. Judging whether a person is a big shot or not depends on his attitude towards small people. When treating children, it reflects a person's basic character. When we feel that we can bully and do whatever we want in front of our children. There is no worse upbringing.

Trust: Trust students' character and ability. Only when you trust your children can they feel your trust. If you don't trust him, he can feel it Only when you trust him can he have confidence and ability. If he succeeds in doing things, he will have the ability and he will be more confident.

2. Guide parents to do it correctly and benefit parents.

The teacher planted the right values for the child and then asked the parents to illuminate him in the right way.

This requires teachers to communicate with parents through various forms about your correct practices towards students and the knowledge you have learned about parenting education, and guide parents to use unconditional love, praise, encouragement, positive affirmation, respect, trust, understanding and correct criticism in the process of accompanying their children. These methods are used to educate their children. In this way, teachers and parents, families and schools can cultivate children together.

The negative case "students don't do their homework" should do what others praise you, not what others criticize you.

Communication with parents should also pay attention to art.

3 The art of effective communication with parents

Remember: the communication between teachers and parents is not complaining, complaining or venting, but cooperating with parents to guide them to solve their children's problems in the right way and make them better and better. At any time, don't communicate when you are full of emotions (you must control your tongue when you are angry), but you must express your concern for the students. What parents really care about is whether the teacher cares about my children. No matter what communication method, parents should feel the teacher's concern for their children.

Telephone communication is convenient and popular, and it is a good communication medium for parents and teachers. If the teacher uses it well, that line will become an "emotional special line" to narrow the distance and gather strength.

Telephone communication must be praised more and criticized less. Children are the treasures of parents, and no parent likes to listen to the teacher only talking about crimes. Therefore, teachers should praise children's advantages and achievements, such as "this child is cute" and "very smart". After listening to these kind words, parents will naturally listen to the teacher's other shortcomings of their children and how parents need to strengthen the methods of disciplining their children. Pay attention to the voice and tone on the phone at the same time. I can't see each other's expression on the phone. All feelings and impressions come from the voice on the phone, and have nothing to do with the tone and words of parents. Teachers should know how to control their emotions. When praising affirmation, the tone should be firm; When talking about children's problems, the tone should be euphemistic. We should also grasp the time of telephone communication, mostly at night, because people will be more relaxed at night, have stronger ability to receive information in a relaxed state, and have a relatively stable mood in a relaxed state, which indirectly helps and protects our students.

Also pay attention to different people and use the same language. If teachers and parents don't understand the language, or their education levels are inconsistent, and they don't pay attention to the use of language, it will be difficult to communicate. For parents with a low education level who usually don't care about education, their minds are full of "educational reform" and "expected education", which parents can't understand. It is necessary to translate into a language that parents can understand for different objects in order to achieve the purpose of communication. It is meaningless to emphasize whether it is right or not. What matters is effectiveness.

Some people need guidance, some people need guidance, and some people need you to tell them the way directly and let them do it. case analysis

Parents sometimes meet teachers on the way, or come directly to the school to find teachers. The atmosphere may be peaceful or tense. Parents may be gentle and rational, or they may be rude. Because this meeting is not planned by the teacher, the teacher should be careful when he is unprepared and has incomplete information. Understand the purpose of parents. Maybe parents will come straight to the point and explain their intentions, or they will ask something obliquely. The teacher can politely ask the other person's understanding and views on the event and grasp the purpose of his speech. Show understanding for parents' feelings. There is no need to argue with parents, just listen attentively and understand his feelings. It also means understanding his feelings and affirming his intentions. Wait until you calm down and explain.

Suppose parents start complaining when they see you in the crowd, how can we communicate? Leave the crowd first, then take out your pen and notebook, listen to him carefully, record carefully, then promise your parents and finally solve the problem. This is to control the movement with silence.

General remarks: Ten advantages and one disadvantage.

For some self-righteous parents, we should listen to their prejudices more;

For those who trust our parents and lack educational methods, we should guide them more;

For those parents who look down on teachers, let's tolerate their ignorance. It's no use pestering them.

For those enlightened parents who support school work, unite with them, communicate with them more and publicize our practices through them.

Fifth, learn to communicate.

Most of the reasons for students' psychological problems (psychological and emotional fluctuations) are caused by events. The communication between teachers, students and parents is accurate, and all kinds of problems can be easily and timely solved or even prevented by appropriate methods. Teachers should actively communicate with students and parents, so as to better achieve the educational effect we want.