Humorous greetings

Collection of humorous greetings

Humorous greetings can bring a happy mood to others. Below are the humorous greetings I have collected for everyone. You are welcome to refer to them. I hope they can be used as references. Help everyone!

1. I haven’t heard from you for a long time. I thought about death. I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and hanged myself with noodles. None of them died. Just treat me to a meal, and forget about it until I die.

2. I am a little bored during my free time, so I send you a text message to tease you; when my phone beeps, don’t forget me; smile sincerely, and all worries will go away; send text messages politely, remember to always smile. May you be in a good mood

3. Either doze off or get drunk, but don’t be too tired; don’t buy expensively, don’t waste it, but be affordable; line up happily, good luck will follow, and in short, you will be in a good mood!

4. I wish you the best wishes from my friends, may your love last as long as a heart, your career bloom like a plum blossom, peace spread like a diamond, wealth rise like a spade, and good luck be at your fingertips. Big and small kings. May endless happiness

5. When the work is at the desk, Kuozhuo is at hand. Leisure has style, and health is in it. Love has a background, and warmth is on your shoulders. Open your brows, happiness is in your heart. May you be happy and in good spirits!

6. Give you some money, and I will cry out in distress; give you a beautiful woman, but my ability is limited and I can’t do it; play with you for a few days, and your partner will definitely make trouble with me; give you a beauty A corner of a blessing flower makes me smile when you are in a beautiful mood!

7. I made a pot of blessing nutrition soup for you. It has no coloring and no preservatives. It is all made with blessings. Shelf life: For the rest of your life, after eating it, may you be surrounded by happiness and good luck all the time, forever!

8. ^o^I opened a Happy Inn, just opposite the Xingfu Bridge. Come and take a look, they sell a permanent and warm set meal: pistachios, happy beans, plus a bottle of wishing wine, which is guaranteed to make you happy!

9. ^o^I usually don’t give easily. People send text messages, and the person who receives my text message must be a person who is in trouble or suffering from each other, so I kowtow three times and say long live for three times and then be free! It’s okay, I just miss you, so step aside!

10. I give you a parrot. When you are tired, it will say: Rest, rest early. If you are sick, it will say: Take care of your body. If you lose weight, it will say: Nutrition, increase nutrition. If you get fat, it will say: Concubine, it’s time to take a bath!

11. ^o^The best friend is you, the person I miss the most is you, the most beautiful time is with you, the happiest time My feeling is to recall you, what I want to do most is to hide you in my heart, what I do most is to send you a text message to tease you!

12. My last name is me, my first name is I love you, and my courtesy name is I want to You, your nickname is Understanding You, your nickname is Love You, your nickname is Reading You, your book name is Dreaming of You, your pen name is Love You, and your nickname is Chasing You. Hehe? My real name is to tease you!

13. Summer? New? To the friends I care about the most: From today on, I will no longer give you warm blessings, I will only I will pour cold water on you; I can no longer give you help in times of need, I will only give you ice cream. Haha, summer is here, pay attention to heatstroke prevention, I wish you a relaxed and happy summer!

14. The heat is endless, it is important to avoid the heat. I collect the cold from both poles, add the cold current of blessings, the cold air of greetings, and gather them into text messages Give it to you, the person who receives it will be able to cool off all summer, the person who saves it will be able to have a refreshing summer, and the person who forwards it will be able to spend the summer cool and cool. I wish you a happy summer, cool and refreshing!

15. Build a pyramid for you with blessings. The top of the tower is health, followed by happiness, happiness, good luck, happiness and peace. There is also a basement where you can run down and have a laugh.

16. Dig some soil and plant my thoughts in it. A few, if there are no flowers or grass, only red banknotes will grow. Who says feelings are not taxed, I still have to spend a dime to think about you.

17. Let’s get to know each other for a long time, and our friendship will naturally become deeper. Although we have less contact, we miss you more. I wish you more happiness and more happiness. More moisturizing.

18. Happy mind: a happy spirit, happy emotions, full fighting spirit, unremitting efforts, practice every day, and you will become a successful hero and a happy hero!

19. I treat you to a big dinner today. Happiness is the dessert, happiness is the main dish, and health is the rice. If you want to eat anything else, feel free to order it. As long as your wishes come true, go smoothly and safely, I will pay for everything!

20. Work should be like blowing up a balloon to encourage yourself; life should be like shooting basketball, giving yourself flexibility; health should be like playing basketball Billiards, position yourself. My friend, I wish you happiness!

21. This is the "Happy" brand text message. It is exclusively produced and of high quality. It has the effect of dispelling worries, relieving fatigue, prolonging life, eliminating diseases, eliminating disasters, and attracting wealth. If one person receives it, the whole family will be happy.

22. In the hot summer, it would be too expensive to buy you an air conditioner! I would not move you to a snow-capped mountain! Treating you to a big meal would hurt your stomach! Treating you to a trip would make you tired; Sending you a rose, misunderstanding! I have to send you a text message to wish you good luck!

23. The weather these days is like the face of a girl in love, which changes at any time; like the face of a girl who is lovelorn, cold and cold; like the face of a girl when they break up. His face was gloomy. Therefore, love depends on your face, the sky when you go out, and the quality of friendship. I wish you a wonderful life!

24. I am a spider, and I will use my health to net you; I am a big tree, and I will cover you with happiness; If you are a god, I will protect you with peace. But I am neither, I can only wish you happiness with all my heart!

25. I dug a mine specially for you, which contains nominations for the gold list. My heart is silver, my copper heart is forever, aluminum wins against aluminum, potassium court Happiness, no worries, no worries, no bounds!

26. Some people say: When the left shoelace comes loose, it means I miss you, and when the right shoelace comes loose, it means you miss me! I Tie the left shoelace tightly and loosen the right shoelace, but the left shoelace still comes loose. It turns out that I can't help but miss you!

27. In this world, hundreds of people wish you well, and there are Me; dozens of people bless you, and I am among them; if there is one person who bless you, it must be me; if no one bless you? Hee hee, don’t worry, that is impossible! I hope you, my friend, are safe, healthy and happy !

28. I wish you: a high position but little responsibility, plenty of money and little to do, close to home, sleep until you wake up naturally every day, cramps in your hands when you receive money, receive gifts when your subordinates spend money, and get a raise for others who work overtime. ! The company’s daily output will make a lot of money, so you can worry less if someone takes care of it!

29. Pay attention, the God of Wealth has cast a spell on you. As soon as you go out, you will be hit by good luck; if you stay at home, your wealth will be money will come to your door; if you open the windows, money will float into your home. You can't escape, just accept it!

30. I use a "vacuum cleaner" to suck away all the dust from your body, I use a "massage chair" to take away all your sleepiness, and I use a "sufficiency" Bathtub?, wash away your fatigue of the day. May you be happy every day!

31. The sound of snoring, thunder, and insects is as loud as the ears; I am happy about big and small things and care about everything; I am calm and peaceful, and I am happy every day; whether it is sunny or rainy, I am happy every day. !

32. My real name is to tease you, my nickname is Doudou, my former name is not funny, it’s not funny, my pen name is funny, who doesn’t amuse me, my motto is not funny to you. !

who.

They say they are teasing you, why are you watching? Just wish you were happy

33. When heaven is about to bring great blessings to this person, it must first ring its bell, light up its screen, display its text, and fill its heart with blessings. Make this person happy with his heart, raise his mouth, show his smile, and then be happy!

　34. ^o^This message is made of metal and has a loud sound. I wish you: success is iron plate fixed nail, career aluminum plate Break new highs, be healthy and prosperous, live a golden life, and be in a good mood forever! Note: It is not a radioactive substance, so you can forward it with confidence!

35. ^o^I had a dream last night. An angel wanted to send you eternal happiness and joy in your dream, but you slept like a pig and refused to let the angel enter your dreamland! The angel had no choice but to let me deliver it to you! Have you received it?

　36. ^o^Someone told me: sending text messages to the most talented, healthy, and kindest person is the noblest thing; after thinking about it, I think this person must be you! If you feel the same, Then please give me a reply!

37. ^o^ In view of the fact that the current house price is only controlled but not reduced, there is now a good house for rent! Address: Zhixin Community Building, Zhencheng Road, Youqing City; Lease period: 10,000 years ;Landlord: Your good friend, I! Welcome everyone to sublet!

38. ^o^This is a text message full of temptation! I wish you a step-by-step promotion in the workplace and your ability to burn and win. With one chip, happiness is heard and chickens dance, and success is a gift. Of course, don’t salivate.

39. ^o^The weather is so hot that I can’t even buy raw eggs! I bought a mat yesterday and it turned into an electric blanket when I slept! I just met a stranger on the road and looked at each other with a smile. , cooked! Remind you to be in a good mood no matter how hot it is!

40. ^o^ I like the warmth of boiled mutton, the warmth of boiled fish, the deliciousness of boiled shrimp, the sweetness of Gu Lao Pork, and the taste of strips. Broad and generous, I express my sincere blessings to you, and wish you happiness!

41. ^o^ I have buried some words in my heart for a long time, and every time I can’t find the right one. I gave up because of the reasons, I just couldn’t help it! I’m so well-intentioned just to tell you: It’s hot, be careful of heat stroke!

42. ^o^Bless my dear friend who lives in a small high-rise , sleep until he wakes up naturally, wears Prada, drives a Wrangler, wears Tiffany, plays an Apple machine, raises a husky, drinks whiskey, and counts RMB like crazy!

43. Never been a thief , but I want to steal happiness to you! I have never cheated anyone, but I want to cheat you out of happiness! I have never harmed anyone, but I want to steal happiness from you! I have never relied on anyone, but I want to steal peace from you. !

44. ^o^Tips: You have been surrounded by Transformers, let Bumblebee implant happiness, let Optimus Prime equip happiness, let Megatron eliminate worries, let Decepticons eliminate sorrow, And decided to banish you to the planet of eternal happiness!

45. It is said that missing you can make people warm, so I have been missing you; it is said that thinking about you can make people warm, so I have been thinking about you; listen Saying blessings can make people warm, I will always bless you. I believe all kinds of things, I just hope I can give you one more degree of warmth in this cold season! My friend, do you feel warm?

46. Just short, short, short, my text message is very short. , long, long, long, long, my thoughts are very long! A greeting is worth a thousand words, I wish you a beautiful life and long-lasting happiness!

47. Don’t talk, keep that breath of heat , my heart will be warmer; read it carefully, grasp every word, and enjoy it better; read it slowly, savor this profound friendship, and experience it more; think about it carefully, and recall this good friend of mine, and your feelings will be deeper. Keep warm when the weather is cold, beware of colds, show friendship and concern, and send greetings as usual.

48. Two sentences in a text message are really few. Three or four sentences are just right. Ten or eight sentences are too noisy. Any more would be a nuisance. This text message is just right. Three greetings come together: Winter The weather is getting colder, so take good care of yourself and be healthy!

49. ?A car soon? A house soon? There is money soon? There is a partner soon. Let’s pursue it, okay? Look at me, there will be one soon. Bowl: Handsome men, cute girls, money, green cards, all come to the bowl. Why work on New Year’s Eve due to smog and haze, subway prices increase, delay retirement, goodbye immediately?!

In the last few days of 50., I give my most important friend a last reminder: remember the day after tomorrow: don’t sleep, otherwise Will be too lazy to sleep. Don't eat late at night, otherwise you will gain weight by eating for two years. Don't go to the bathroom, otherwise you will suffer from squatting for two years. Don't sing loudly, otherwise you will sing for two years and your throat will smoke. I suggest you secretly count your money for two years!

51. I’ll give you a bunch of hearts, watch out! Heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart, friends to heart, pure friendship depends on sincerity, heart to heart. Cherish is a close friend, and the heart will never change even if the sea withers away. I wish you happiness every day. Thousands of hearts, ten thousand hearts, just like my heart, I hope you will go well every day, do everything you want, and be happy in this life!

52. As long as your long johns are on your legs and your belt is getting wider, you will never regret it. The winter weather is very cold and it’s very serious if I don’t wear long johns. Winter is merciless, so why are there no autumn pants? If love lasts for a long time, how can we not wear long trousers? We are both at the end of the world without long pants, so why should we meet before? Dear, are you wearing long johns?

53. The weather has gotten colder, and the thought of you has become stronger. I accidentally bumped into the wall while walking; the weather has gotten colder, and my face has turned sallow thinking about you. , my love for you once turned into malnutrition; the weather has turned cold, and the rhythm of thinking about you is comparable to the Great Northern Wilderness. My little heart feels so cold when I don’t see you. The weather is getting colder, so I just miss you. Remember to take care of yourself!

54. I am so jealous of you, do you know why? You can actually have a friend like me. It’s not a holiday birthday, but I can remember you and send you a text message wishing you happiness! Accept your fate, you will be jealous of me forever!

55. I miss you, but I can’t tell you, just like a tree full of pear blossoms It will never produce apples. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like the rainbow hanging high in the sky, no one can ever touch it. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like the train track, no ship will ever pass by. I miss you, but I really can’t tell you, for fear that if I do, you won’t be able to have a good time this summer, so I’ll send you a text message to tell you that I miss you!

56. This text message has gone through strong light radiation, scorching sun, strong winds, thunder and lightning attacks, mosquito bites, and rain washes, and finally arrived at your mobile phone, saying to you: Be happy every day, hold your belly and be happy, cover your head with quilt. , I am happy with a runny nose, I am happy to look at the sky, I am happy when I drink water, I am happy when I think of me, I am happy even if I am not happy, I am healthy and happy!

57. Looking forward to the cool weather in the hot summer, panic, dreams long. It's the same every year, but there is no way to escape the summer heat. The sun is shining brightly, my eyes are blurred, I can't see clearly, and I'm sweating a lot. At night, the mosquitoes went crazy again, slapping them and getting hurt. I still stayed in bed early in the morning with red envelopes all over my body. When the sun was about three o'clock in the morning, the sky was dusk and my hands and feet were busy. The weather is hot in summer, I hope my greetings can bring you a little bit of coolness and make you feel happy and refreshed!

58. The old Taoist priest taught his disciples: After twelve o'clock on Sunday night, ghosts are most active. It is the most dangerous time.

?Apprentice Qidao: ?This is a matter of yin and yang? The old Taoist priest shook his head: ?No, no, really, only Monday comes, and only ghosts want to go to work? Haha, a joke here, Monday is the beginning of your busy life, I wish you Take a break from your busy life, be happy in your busy life!

59. God! Please send a big watermelon for me to those guys who have forgotten me, don’t contact me, don’t call me, don’t send me text messages, don’t miss me. Let’s go! Wish them a good meal, and then step on the watermelon peel when they go out!

60. A watermelon air conditioner for sleeping, a computer, a mobile phone with full WIFI, a cold beer, a friend you can call even on a hot day, a person who loves you = 1 All summer long. Coupled with my blessing, it will be a complete and comfortable summer. May you have a good summer mood! ;