Funny adult connotation SMS

Life is like playing mahjong, love at first sight is like sweet potato, free love is like sweet potato, media agreement is like sweet potato, seducing men is called grabbing bars, giving birth to children is called flowering, lovers are called hanging, and no lovers are called whiteboard!

Do you know why you and I are meant to be in this life? In fact, we met thousands of years ago, and it was also spring. You chased me for a long time and left your teeth marks on me, which made an eternal story. My name was Lv Dongbin at that time.

I thought there was something better. I found the best around me again and again, just like you. At first, I didn't think much of your appearance, but as time went on, I found that you were the most bullied!

Dreaming of God, he said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult. Let's change it. I took out your photo and said I wanted to make this look good. He thought deeply and said, take the globe and I'll look at it again!

When I wake up, there is a mosquito lying next to your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside me, which reads: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. You are so cheeky that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I killed myself.

Last night, I had a dream that you were panting after a pig with a kitchen knife. The pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy, saying, we are born from the same root, so why fry each other!

A person always farts in the office, and his colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling and asked, why? Answer: I tuned it to vibrate.

I said, "You are a pig!" You said: I am a pig. "From then on, I will call you a pig. One day, you finally couldn't help shouting, "I'm not a pig! "In front of everyone.

Anonymous's derailed husband suddenly went home, and the adulterer jumped out of the window and fled, mixing with the crowd running in the morning. A curious person asked: Why are you wearing clothes? Answer: streaking! Never seen it? The man replied: I've seen streakers, but I've never seen anyone wearing a condom!

A man went to a brothel and asked a woman the price. The woman replied: 50 yuan. The man saw it was cheap and did it. The woman said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked why. The woman replied that she went in and out of 50 yuan. The man said angrily: * * * is moved by China, and it's a two-way charge!

A store keeps a parrot, and customers say welcome when they enter the door. A client wants me to fast-forward and see how it reacts. Say that finish "sou" ran in. Unexpectedly, the parrot scolded: * * * * want to scare me to death? "

The cat was forced by life and sat in the cordate telosma hotel opened by the fox. One day, the mouse went to the hotel to call the roll to lock the cat up for one night, and the cat vowed to die. The mouse was furious and said, I used to chase Lao Zi to death, but now I have sent it to my door.