Decompression jokes

1. Architect

A lady called the architect and said that her bed would shake every time a train passed by.

"That's nonsense." The architect replied, "I'll take a look." ”

After the architect arrived, the lady suggested that he lie on the bed and experience the feeling of the train passing by.

As soon as the architect got into bed and lay down, the lady’s husband came back. He Seeing this, he shouted and asked: "What are you doing lying on my wife's bed? "

The architect replied tremblingly: "I said I was waiting for the train. Would you believe it? ”

Epiphany

Some words are true, but they sound false; some words are false, but there is no doubt.

2. Temptation

The English gentleman and the French woman were traveling in the same box. The woman wanted to seduce the Englishman. After she took off her clothes and lay down, she complained that she was cold. The gentleman gave her his quilt, but she kept talking. Cold.

"How else can I help you? "The husband asked frustratedly.

"When I was a child, my mother always used her body to keep me warm. "

"Miss, there is nothing I can do to help you. I can't jump off the train and go find your mother, can I? ”

Epiphany

A man who understands style is a good man, and a man who does not understand style is even better.

3. Spoon

< p>Mike walked into the restaurant and ordered a soup, and the waiter brought it to him immediately.

As soon as the waiter walked away, Mike yelled: "I'm sorry, I can't drink this soup." "

The waiter brought him another soup, but he still said: "I'm sorry, I can't drink this soup." "

The waiter had no choice but to call the manager.

The manager nodded respectfully to Mike and said, "Sir, this dish is our best specialty and is very popular among customers. Could it be that you ..."

"I mean, where is the spoon? ”

Epiphany

It is of course a good thing to correct mistakes. But we often correct the correct ones and leave the wrong ones behind, and the result is more mistakes.

4. Wrong Wear

In the dining room, an unusually humble man timidly touched another customer, who was wearing a coat.

“I’m sorry. Are you Mr. Pierre? "

"No, I'm not. "The man replied.

"Ah," he breathed a sigh of relief, "then I'm not mistaken, I am him, and you are wearing his coat. ”

Epiphany

It is not easy to be righteous. People who are righteous are often groveling, while people who are arrogant are as arrogant as cattle.< /p>

5. Call back

A Scotsman went to London and wanted to visit an old friend, but he forgot his address, so he sent a telegram to his father: "You know Thomas's address? Quick report"

On the same day, he received an urgent call back: "I know. ”

Epiphany

When we finally find the most correct answer, we find that it is the most useless.

6. Sad story

< p>Three people went to New York for a vacation. They booked a suite on the 45th floor of a high-rise hotel.

One night, the elevator in the building broke down, and the waiter arranged for them to stay in the lobby for the night. >After discussion, they decided to walk back to the room and agreed to take turns telling jokes, singing and telling stories to reduce the fatigue of climbing the stairs.

The jokes were told and songs were sung, and they finally climbed to the 34th place.

"Okay, Peter, tell me a funny story. "

Peter said: "The story is not long, but it is extremely sad: I forgot the key to my room in the hall. ”

Epiphany

We are in pain, so we are humorous; we are humorous, so we are happy.

7. Selling books

A very famous The writer wanted to visit the bookstore. The bookstore owner was so flattered that he quickly removed all the books and replaced them with the writer's books. When the writer came to the bookstore, he was very happy and asked, "Does your store only sell my books?" "

"Of course not. The bookstore owner replied, "Other books are selling very well and are all sold out."

"

Epiphany

"Flattery" is a strange word: you seem to be flattering him, but also seeming to be insulting him.

8. Help

p>

In the post office lobby, an old lady walked up to a middle-aged man and said politely: "Sir, could you please help me write the address on the postcard? ”

“Of course. "The middle-aged man did as the old man asked.

The old lady said again: "Write a short paragraph for me, okay? Thanks! ”

“Okay. "After the middle-aged man finished writing according to the old lady's words, he asked with a smile: "Is there anything else you can help with? ”

“Well, there’s one more little thing. "The old lady looked at the postcard and said, "Please add another sentence at the bottom: I apologize for the legible handwriting. ”

Epiphany

If you refuse to help, people will hate you for a week; if the help is not perfect, you might as well...

Hope to adopt it!~