Humorous jokes to make girls happy.

Humorous jokes to make girls happy

Humorous jokes to make girls happy, boys who like to tell jokes to girls must be very obedient and love their girlfriends very much! Let's take a look at some humorous jokes that make girls happy. The following is the relevant information I have compiled for your reference and use.

Humorous joke to make girls happy 1

1. One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What an ass, a man left and a woman right!

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project to build a 3-meter chimney. The construction period was two months, and the cost was 3, yuan, but it needed to be funded. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. ! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig a well!

3. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by, and a policeman came over: What happened? Drunk: I don't know, I just arrived.

4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with the telephone pole. One of them passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

5. The tortoise is injured. Let snails buy medicine. After two hours. The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded in a hurry: if he doesn't come back, Lao Zi will die! At this time, there was a snail's voice outside the door: you say I'm not going!

6. If someone keeps a pig, he will get bored and abandon it. However, if the pig knows the way back, it will be useless to abandon it. One day, he drove a lot and abandoned the pig. He called his family late at night and asked, "Is the pig returned?" Answer: "I have returned!" Its roar: "Let it answer the phone, I'm lost!

7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants they nest climbed onto the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants all fell down. At this time, there was another one around the elephant's neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it".

8. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon is all dead." At this time, many students said, "We also died." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" " The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead. Why don't you die?"

9. In my sophomore year, all the girls in the dormitory liked Zhou Huajian's songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Zhou Huajian? The girl in the lower berth replied: It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell over in bed. Humorous jokes to make girls happy 2

First, at the mobile phone party, a mobile phone said, "I'm from Nokia." The other said, "I'm from Samsung." Another well-dressed person said, "I'm from Apple." At this time, a cell phone in the corner said, "Don't argue, I'm a fake, and whoever I love is mine!" "

Second, I was working in a hospital. One day, there was an earthquake. At this time, everyone went out. Only the old director of internal medicine calmly held the wall and took out two tablets of antihypertensive drugs ... He thought his blood pressure was high.

third, it's snowing. Ordinary youth: "Ah, it's snowing, so white!" " Literary youth: "Snow is as clean as jade, purifying soul and spirit!" " Youth: God's poop is white! "

Fourth, the frog went to the tortoise's house with a bottle of Erguotou to pray for the secret of longevity. The tortoise blew the saliva pipe. He said slowly, "Actually, it's quite simple. No matter what happens, put your head in first. "

5. Sima Guang patted Wang Anshi on the shoulder: "Jiefu, fight with me? You are still too young. " Wang Anshi calmly replied: "What's the big deal? Isn't it just smashing a water tank? I would definitely do the same if I were you. I'm just one less chance. " There were two cold lights in Sima Guang's eyes: "Opportunities are created by yourself. You only know that the old man smashed the jar, but you don't know how the child fell in, do you? "

6. It's above 4 degrees Celsius every day, and I have to go out to run business. It's really that the barbecue business has developed rapidly, and now it has developed to every household.

7. A black man was bitten by lice. He blew out the candle and said, Let you never see me again.

8. Director Zhang gave a speech, and there was a buzz under the stage, which soon drowned out the director's voice. The director was unhappy and was about to get angry when a young man stood up and shouted, "Everybody stop arguing!" " The whole room was suddenly quiet. The director was very moved: after all, there is a bosom friend! The young man went on to say, "You made so much noise that I woke up!"

I chatted with a MM by chance today. I asked her what she looked like. She said she was 168 and had long hair. I asked if I could be more specific. She said it wasn't specific? I said, of course, find a 168 mop and turn it upside down, just like you? ! Then she directly blacked me out ...

X. When the American diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union, Soviet reception officials accompanied them to visit the great achievements of construction, and proudly said: By the next five-year plan, every Soviet family can have a private jet! The Americans were surprised and asked, What do they need a plane for? Su Xiu officials said: Of course it works! For example, if you hear in Moscow that Leningrad has started to supply bread, you can fly to the queue immediately.

eleven, mother snail said to the snail: you are not young either. I will take you to the village next door for a blind date tomorrow. Snail said: I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached legal age yet. Mom: You will be enough when we get there.

12. surfing the internet at home one night, Wangwang suddenly jumped out of the window and said to me, "Dear, I'm pregnant." Elder brother suddenly a surprised, heart said he didn't rush what trouble? Just as he was stupefied, the man said, "Go to the hospital for examination tomorrow." I wonder who the hell you are. Do you want me to accompany you to check? Do you want to correct me? Just thinking about it, the man said, "I can only deliver the goods to you the day after tomorrow." Shit, I bought something at Ya's this afternoon.

XIII. On the way to learn Buddhist scriptures, Tang Priest was deeply distressed by his three disciples. One was jumping up and down, the other was lazy, and the other was always lagging behind. They were all people of status, so they didn't pay attention to quality. It was simply disorganized and undisciplined! So the Tang Priest gave special training to the three disciples. A month later, Tang Priest said, "quick march!"

14. Wandering in the street with friends, when you meet a foreign friend, say hello to him: "Hello!" " My friend also said, "Ha Lao, cool dog!" " Embarrassed ... Die!

15. Mr. Wang, an examination minister, was rumored several years ago to succeed Mr. Chen Lvan as a supervisor. Mr. Wang joked that only the first year of the monkey is possible (when the monkey is the emperor, there will be the first year of the monkey, and the monkey is impossible. So he won't have a chance. However, in recent days, the caring eyes of the upper class have shown great signs of appointing Mr. Wang as a supervisor. Don't really have the first year of the monkey? I'm going to look up Mr. Li's zodiac ... Or did a newspaper deliberately ...

16. Newton visited the Zen master because of mechanical problems. The Zen master spread a blanket under the inclined plane, put the ball on the inclined plane and let go. The ball rolled for a short distance and then stopped. The Zen master changed the blanket into a smooth wooden surface, and the ball rolled for a long distance before stopping. Newton suddenly realized: you mean that force is the reason to change the motion state of an object, and as long as it is not stressed, it can keep moving? The Zen master said, I mean, get out of here as far as you can!

XVII. "When I was in college, my classmates went to Sichuan Restaurant together and asked for a portion of pig's head when ordering. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn't understand it. One classmate smiled and pointed to his head and said to the waitress," Here! Pig head meat! " "Miss:" "Oh … I see!" "From then on, this gentleman was nicknamed" Pig's Head Meat "."

18. In the morning, a buddy walked to the front of the stairs and stood still on the first step. It was a long time before he suddenly woke up and shouted, "isn't this an escalator?" ！”

nineteen, there is a TV program that a white radish was planted and turned into a carrot in autumn. Experts from all over the country discussed collectively. Water, fertilizer, land type, air, weather and even planting methods were investigated. Episodes 1, 2 and 3. The final conclusion is that the buddy planted the wrong seeds.

twenty, a man was walking on a dusty road, and a coachman caught up with him with a four-wheeled cart. He said to the driver, "boss, can you be kind?" Take my coat to town. " The driver said, "OK, but how can you get your coat again?" He said, "It's easy. I'll just stay inside my coat."

21st, Wei Xiaobao, Yang Guo, Guo Jing and Ling Huchong compare wives together. Yang Guo said: My wife is willing to jump off a cliff for me. Guo Jing said: My wife is willing to break up with my father for me. Ling Huchong said: My wife is willing to be imprisoned in Shaolin Temple for me. Wei Xiaobao smiled and said nothing, and they looked back. Shuang'er had asked Huang Rong, Little Dragon Girl and Ren Yingying for their phone number and QQ number.

Twenty-two, my girlfriend asked me after watching the news that a man in Xiamen was paralyzed after eating twelve moon cakes all night: "Why does this man keep eating cakes?" I ate it for 12 months! ! ！”

twenty-three, ordinary youth: "the girl we chased together in those years", fashionable literary youth: "the girl we fucked together in those years", other youth: "the girl we downloaded together in those years" ~

twenty-four, some petite girls, I beg you to stop saying that you are fat! Less than 1 kilograms, each with thin arms and thin legs, the mini keeps saying: Ah! How fat! Want to lose weight! As a result, my calf stretched out and Nima was as thin as my arm! I dare ask if you want to be as thin as a pad, right? There is a line on the front and a line on the side, which is too thin to see! ! You're not afraid to move, are you?

twenty-five, a small snail just climbed over a bridge, and the bridge suddenly collapsed with a bang. The little snail sighed with sweat, "Mom, I didn't run fast, and my life was gone."

excuse me, miss, would you please take your chest away from my hand?

27. Only those lazy people will complain and suffer because they can't get up every morning. Those who are really motivated will call for leave immediately.

twenty-eight, in a restaurant, a man pointed to a tofu more than two meters long in a dish and shouted, "What ears are you! I ordered home-cooked tofu! " The restaurant chef heard this and wondered, "Isn't it long enough?"

twenty-nine, moths go out for a trip, and at night, they are preparing to find a place to rest. However, I found an Internet cafe in front of me, so I decided to stay. Who knows that as soon as I entered the door, I was tied up by a spider. Facing the spider's butcher knife, the moth not only sighed; Damn it, the black shop!

thirty, a really good man is not one who doesn't play games, DOTA or WOW. But when he is playing a game, as long as you send a text message, a phone call or a QQ, he will quit the game directly for you. A netizen spoke out: this kind of person is commonly known as "a teammate like a pig." Never team up with him!

thirty-one, my friend said to the moon: you are my other half. Yue said to Peng: I didn't promise to marry you. You should remember that we are only friends at present.

thirty-two, the apple is ill, and the orange goes to see it. When I arrived at Apple's house, I saw the apple lying on the bed, with thick gauze wrapped around its shoulders. The orange asked, How could it hurt so badly? Apple's mother said grumpily: it's not its own fault. I miss the iphone so much that I think it's really an apple if I cut it. It's a dream!