Interesting group texting

Full set of classic funny text messages

1 Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will be full after eating a catty. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

Two tips for self-testing vital capacity: after farting, lower your head and suck hard, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smells. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

A man went shopping and had to pee in the corner. When the old lady saw it, she said, urinating anywhere is a fine of five yuan. Who said I peed? Can't I show it?

A new overseas travel route, the seven-day tour of Afghanistan, was grandly launched: living in a cave, learning bomb-making and escape skills, and the lucky ones had the opportunity to take photos with bin Laden as a souvenir.

5 love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is not in the service area; It hurts to think about it, and it hurts to think about it. When can I turn it on again? Horizontal recognition: dreams come true

At the Songkran Festival, someone suddenly cursed: md, who spilled me? People suggest that throwing you is a blessing. Bitch: Come on, which bc threw boiling water at me?

7 Instructions for jumping off a building: Go to the seventh floor, gasp to the sixth floor, struggle to the fifth floor, be disabled to the fourth floor, be hospitalized to the third floor, frighten to the second floor, and watch the excitement to the first floor.

On that day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end. All I heard was that the pig knelt down and begged for mercy from you: "We were born from the same root, so why should we fry each other!" "

Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone drastic internal changes due to overload and is about to explode. After reading this tip, please put it in the blank immediately. ...

10 Please call 1 10 for free to win a 15-day value-added tour and arrange a shuttle bus. The top ten people will be sent to the detention center for a group photo, and 10,000 people will receive fist massage.

1 1 men's four ideals: money fell from the sky and all the beautiful men in the world died. The beauty is out of her mind, crying for me to soak.

12 When reading this message, you already owe me a hug; Delete this message and owe me a kiss; Save this message and owe me an appointment; If you reply, you owe me everything; If you don't reply, you are mine.

13 Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please take sabre, shotgun and soil cannon to China People's Bank at 0: 00 tonight.

14 men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs.

15 horses jump when they are coquettish, donkeys bark when they are coquettish, men become warped when they are coquettish, and women seek when they are coquettish. The most coquettish one kept laughing at the phone.

16 A nun went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound, and the careless nurse gave her a pregnant woman's test sheet. The nun sighed after reading it and said, "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

17 men are not bad, a little abnormal; Men are not coquettish, but bastards. Men don't care, they are absolutely nervous; Men are not hooligans, and their development is abnormal.

18 everyone is awake and I am drunk alone. It is most precious to have a heart. I don't regret meeting true feelings and true love, and this life is only for you (the secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

19 emergency reminder: look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a psychopath who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.

Four wishes of a 20-year-old lady: rich people come to karaoke bars and have countless tips. There is no AIDS in the world, and men ejaculate twice.

2 1 The girl bought bananas, put them in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached for them from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: miss, please make way, I'm getting off.

May you be happy every day for 365 days a year, 8760 hours forever, 5,256,000 wonderful minutes and 31536,000 seconds.

Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, a day with you is a beautiful day.

A woman will blush five times in her life: the first time; The first time with her husband; Not a husband for the first time; When collecting money for the first time; The first time I paid,

If the world has only 10 minutes left, I will recall the ups and downs with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

I live such a life every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

If your mobile phone is not waterproof, be careful not to drool on it when reading short messages, or it will break down!

Riddle: Birds fly by Swan Lake. It's nice to walk in pairs. These two trees have no connection with the forest center. If you don't want to fly first (type four words) ..................................................................................................................................................

Warning: Hello! Because your mobile phone is ugly and outdated, which has seriously affected the appearance of the city, we decided to send a signal to destroy it.

30. 10% persistent+10% missing+10% jealous+10% suspicious+10% sweet+10% distressed+/kloc-

3 1 urgent notice: polygamy will be resumed from now on, and men who still practice monogamy two weeks later will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of more than six months and less than three years, and fined.

Japanese team: Male players are Masao Kamikawa and Kojiro, while female players are Kyoko Yokai and Kyoko Kanano. The referee is South Korean socio-economic tycoon Park Sung-sung.

During Spring Festival travel rush, the train was so crowded that a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. When the inspector at the bottom of the car found it, he shouted: Fat man with cigar, shrink back.

The thief found all the jellies in the safe and ate them all in a rage. The next day, the newspaper published a headline: Yesterday, the sperm bank was stolen and the sperm was looted. ...

After reading the following words, you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2 million yuan. The problems are as follows: the purpose of this is both.

There is a tacit understanding called empathy, a feeling called wonder, a happiness called being with you, and a yearning called living like years.

Urgent reminder: there will be a tornado in the southeast of the city at 9: 00 tomorrow morning. It is expected that there will be money and things like mobile phones, paper money and gold coins. Please be prepared to get rich.

A thunder woke Bush up in the middle of the night. He shouted, "Quick, turn on the light!" " The bodyguard lit the candle tacitly. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, Bush hissed, "I'm all over Afghanistan."

You should marry Xiao Zhao, make friends with Ling Huchong, be a man with Qiao Feng and go out with Wei Xiaobao.

40 steamed bread and noodles fight, steamed bread was held in tears, so he went home and asked Hua Juan to avenge steamed bread. As a result, the steamed bread with instant noodles opened the door and said, "Your boy burned his head, I know you!" "

4 1 Some people say that you are an ass, so I seriously criticized him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like.

Hello, yesterday, when I turned on my mobile phone to read short messages, I was shocked all night and fainted because I was wearing clothes and my clothes had electrostatic reaction. Take off your clothes when you watch it, so as not to get an electric shock!

43. A father taught his daughter that when someone invaded her, she said no, and when she was invaded, she said stop. One day, her daughter was attacked at the same time, that is, don't stop!

I wish you smooth sailing, two dragons in power, soaring, three sheep in power, opening Thailand, four seasons of peace, five blessings, 66 Dashun, seven stars shining high, money coming from all directions, 99 concentric, perfect, Pepsi prosperous, and good luck.

Donor: The underwear you are wearing today is not in good color. Please take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to ensure safety. Kindness is kindness.

Bull: I was scared when I saw the inspector coming. They all like to eat bullwhip. Niu: I'm afraid, too. I heard that they began to brag after eating the bullwhip.

47. A man is enjoying a sand bath under the beach. Three beautiful women came here to change their swimsuits. Suddenly, they heard a beautiful woman scream. Come and see, that thing is wild, too.

The beautiful woman went into the sex shop and bought a massage stick. She picked it for a long time and finally said to the boss, I want the red one over there. The boss was silent for a while and said, that's a fire extinguisher.

A young woman engaged in literature wrote an article asking the professor for advice. Professor: The first half of this article highlights two points, and the content is substantial. The middle is flat; In the second half of my life, I have to do seven things and eight things!

50 test you: What should I do if all the pigs in the world die overnight? (Making Title) ..................................................................................................................... "At least you"!

5 1 You are very creative, which is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God lost his temper. You must live bravely. Without you, who can set off the beauty of this world?

No one is perfect for you and there is no perfect relationship. Whether everyone is suitable or not, whether everyone is perfect or not, both sides need to pay, sacrifice and create for each other.

Looking back 500 times in my last life, I passed by this life. If it's really you, I'd like to meet you ten thousand times and tell you, "I really want to see you."

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in the prize-winning network access activity in our city, with a bonus of 6,543,800 yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. Password: Don't move.

The Tang Priest assigned work at the foot of the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, and Wukong went to find water-Bajie, why do you still have time to read short messages?" ! "

Tip: Wrap the mobile phone with zongzi leaves and put it in a pot for 30 minutes. The standby time of the mobile phone battery will be doubled, the signal will be enhanced, and you can smell the fragrance of zongzi when you make a phone call.

Wish you: Pepsi! Everything is Fanta! Every day, wow, haha! Happy every month! Go to Gao Legao every year! It feels like Sprite! Always eye-catching

Congratulations, the message you just received will be recorded in the history of world communication, because it is the first message paid by the receiver, and the price is 65,438+00,000 RMB!

Once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it, and I regretted it after losing it. The most painful thing in the world is this.

I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don't know how to repay you. I'll pull weeds for you in my next life!

6 1 A woman peed outside the window and peed on a person. Pedestrians shouted "Scarface, you can't run away"! Women are busy putting on pants. Pedestrians are also called "I know you with a mask".

You are so handsome and cool that you can hardly compare. You always think you are Dong Fangbubai, but you are the second generation fool!

63 Shanglian: Hero, single-handedly brave the bottomless pit; The second part: the heroine, double-sided attack to capture the cyclops alive. Horizontal approval: responsiveness

When you were a child, you lacked calcium, but when you grew up, you lacked love. Who dares to love such a glorious image, wearing a sack, a lid on his head, shorts, a belt and a tie!

In the university canteen, a boy wanted to cut in line and said to a beautiful girl, classmate, shall I cut in front of you? Girl: I just inserted one in front, so insert it behind me!

If you love me, you can kiss me. If you don't love me, I will kiss you, okay ~ ~ ~

If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is … ten thousand years!

Special suggestion: At present, pinhole cameras are increasingly rampant. In order to ensure that your private parts are not peeped, please dress and take a shower, and don't take off your underwear when urinating. Remember, remember!