A joke to amuse his girlfriend.

1, the pig cried sadly, and the mother pig asked, why are you crying? I feel stupid, said the pig. Mother comforted: don't cry, the pig reading this news is dumber than you!

2. Once upon a time, there was a crow with a delicious gravy in its mouth. The passing fox saw it and said to it, beautiful crow, your singing must be beautiful. Can I listen to it? The crow opened its mouth and sang proudly, and the fox immediately bent down to pick it up. At this time, a tiger came out of the grass, untied his belt and said, demo, you can't be complete unless you find a mop!

Dear, shall we get married? Woman: It's ok to get married, but if I want to steal food from your farm, I have to steal it! The man pondered for a long time and shook his head decisively: there is no way to steal my food! ?

Xiaoming and Xiaohua went to the zoo to play. When they entered the door, Xiao Ming pointed to Xiaohua and said to the doorman, "Look clearly! Come out later, don't say I stole your monkey! "

A boy pursued his favorite girl and wrote her more than 700 love letters in succession. The unremitting efforts of many a mickle makes a mickle, which eventually led to a beautiful marriage, and the girl finally married the postman. The boy got angry and went to be a postman.

6. Xiao Li in the office said to Xiao Zhang, "I'll tell you good news and bad news, which one should I listen to first?" Xiao Zhang: "Bad news." Xiao Li: "The good news I want to say is false."

7. On the way, I met my dad to buy lottery tickets. I asked him, "Dad, what are you going to do when you win the grand prize?" As a result, my dad glanced at me. "Why do you care so much? What is it to you? "

8. The tourist saw a street sign that said, "The road is closed and you can't move forward." Seeing that there are no obstacles ahead, he is confident that he has rich travel experience and moves on. Soon, he found that a bridge was broken and had to turn around. When he came to the place where the road sign had just been placed, he saw the back of the road sign saying, "Welcome back, fool."

9. I quarreled with a friend before. A friend is a particularly proud person who ignores anyone after a quarrel. Suddenly sent me a message in the middle of the night: "The sum of the first item plus the last item multiplied by the number of items divided by two." I asked, "What are you doing?" He said, "Make peace."

10, the doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A man passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

1 1, one day on the side of the road, a beautiful woman pulled it: "Handsome boy, do me a favor, my ex is pestering me, just pretend to be my husband!" Seeing that she was so delicate and touching, she agreed. When she entered the store, she winked at me. Honey, wait for me. I'll be right back. I readily agreed. But she didn't answer for a long time, so I was ready to leave, and I was stopped by the salesperson: settle your wife's account before leaving.

12, the elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants they built climbed onto the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it".

A Dai is going to his mother-in-law's house. He weighed 5 Jin of apples at the fruit stand. The peddler asked him, "Do you want a big apple or a small apple?" A Dai thought for a moment and said, "Let's call it little apple! This can save energy. "

14, my cousin broke up and cried for me. The reason is that her boyfriend can't accept her abortion. I was silent for a while and said, "This is understandable. Don't be too sad." She cried, "but I'm an obstetrician. If I don't do it, who will? "

15, what a lovely creature it would be if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

16, the most ambiguous thing between men and women is to borrow something, and once you borrow it, you will have two chances to meet each other.

17, eating food is generally kind, because I just want to eat every day and have no time to count others.

18, sending goose feathers thousands of miles, the gasoline cost is too high.

19, those who forward their horoscope features all day long are shouting "Those who don't like me are bastards!"

20. There was a way to do things, but there were more people leaving, so it was blocked.