Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - 2020-09- 14
2020-09- 14
19821Friday, October 22nd, the sixth day of the ninth lunar month. This day is an unforgettable day for me. This day is not only the day when the Hager family and the second brother WuErlang family were killed, but also the day when the Sixth World Cup Gymnastics Competition was held in Zagreb, the capital of Yugoslavia.
In the competition, Li Ning, an athlete from China, miraculously won six championships after fierce competition, becoming the athlete who won the most gold medals in a world gymnastics competition and was included in the Guinness World Records. 1Li Ning, born in 963, is a Zhuang nationality and was born in Liuzhou, Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. He joined the small gymnastics team from the first grade of primary school, and later participated in systematic training in the Guangxi team. 1973, Li Ning won the national junior floor exercise championship, 1980 participated in the national gymnastics championship and won the second place in individual all-around. After entering the national team, he won the floor exercise, pommel horse and rings at the World University Games in July198/kloc-0. 1984, Li Ning won the floor exercise, pommel horse and rings at the 23rd Olympic Games. 1982 and 1984 were rated as one of the "Top Ten Mobilizations" in China twice. 1983 was elected as the representative of the Sixth National People's Congress. 1984, he was awarded as an excellent athlete in the commemoration of the 35th anniversary of the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC).
I was on duty at Haige's house that night. Since Wu Erlang was almost killed, Hagrid has always said that the family area of the Public Security Bureau is unsafe, and three bungalows that used to be warehouses have been vacated. After the renovation, Wu Erlang's family must move to their own small yard so that the brothers can have a care. "Takejiro" couldn't beat "Hagrid" and had to move in. Since then, the two housewives have exchanged visits and got along well. Coincidentally, Hagrid's daughter and Takejiro's son were born on the same day of the same year. They had a good time together and were basically inseparable. Sister-in-law Shu Zhen of WuErlang's family joked with Sister-in-law Hui Min, "Sister-in-law, you see how congenial these two children are. Let's have a "young marriage" between our two families, and let your daughter Feifei be my wife in the future. ……"
Hui Min's sister-in-law happily promised, "Well, my daughter will have such a good old woman in the future. ……"
Sister-in-law Shu Zhen said happily, "Really? ..... Sister-in-law, you can keep your word, but you cannot regret it. ..... "See sister-in-law Hui Min nodded with a smile, she went on to say:" Sister-in-law, wait a minute. ……"
Soon, my sister-in-law Shu Zhen came back with a sandalwood gift box in her hand. After opening it, there is a pair of ancient jade bracelets inside. Sister-in-law Shu Zhen said shyly, "My mother-in-law gave it to me the day before I married Friendship. This is not a good thing. Is for Feifei ... "
Sister-in-law Hui Min doesn't want to accept Chingmy Yau's gift for no reason. She smiled and said, "Oh, hey ... this dowry is also very expensive. How can our family Feifei afford it? " ..... Sister-in-law, please wait a moment. ……"
Later, Sister-in-law Hui Min took out a beautiful coffin made of pure gold, which was fourteen or fifteen centimeters long, four or five centimeters wide and five or six centimeters high. She handed it to Shu Zhen's sister-in-law in both hands and said, "Sister-in-law, this is for my uncle. I hope he can have both official and financial resources in the future. ……"
For the safety of Hagrid and Wu Erlang's family, I have made arrangements with Ziggy's "Quadrupole". Every night, he and I want someone to lead two of his "Twelve Pacific Insurance" to work in the yard of Hagrid and Wu Erlang's house at night, even if it is an "electric shock" killer as a "bodyguard".
Before lunch, "Wu Erlang" called and said that there had been new progress in the murder of the mother of Yang's second daughter Bai Yuyu. However, considering the complexity of the case, involving the internal staff of their bureau, it is not convenient to say it on the phone. But this matter is very important. I need to verify some details before I can report to Director Bao Min 'an. He also specifically told me that he was at home tonight and wanted to talk to me in detail.
"Has anything to do with the people inside the public security bureau? Who could it be? Wow! ...... "Honey, stir-fry green onions with lard!" ..... did this son of a bitch Sun Xiangdong do it? ..... "I doubt it in my heart, and I think it is preconceived.
After class in the afternoon, I pushed the Japanese original Yamaha DX 100 motorcycle that my fourth brother "Lao Gaoli" gave me a few days ago, ready to clean the car, and then went to the home of "Hagrid" and "Wu Erlang" for duty.
Yamaha DX 100 is a two-stroke air-cooled engine motorcycle produced by Yamaha Engine Co., Ltd. in Japan. This kind of motorcycle was an absolute rarity in China in the early days of reform and opening up, and it suddenly became a fashion symbol sought after by some people who got rich first. And those wage earners with a poor monthly salary of "368 Mao (38.6 yuan)" can only look at the "car" and have nothing to envy. It is said that the first batch of Yamaha DX 100 motorcycles were only imported to Harbin. Do you have money to buy? Don't even think about it without a considerable "relationship" "Lao Han" knew that I was in a bad mood and went to Wu Baoshan, the director of the Commercial Bureau, to buy it.
To this end, I am very grateful to "old Korea", and I am once again famous for DX 100. I remember cleaning the car that day. More than a month has passed since Ji Jiejing and Shi's memorial service, and my mood is still very low, even when I eat in the canteen. On this day, after the afternoon self-study, I went to the canteen in the crowd.
"Hey ... there is no good aisle, what's the ground whispering! ..... "Suddenly, a figure stopped my way.
I was startled and looked up. It turned out to be "red pepper" Wang Xiaowen. I can't help thinking of Jiubao Band and Rourou in Red Pepper, and Rourou's Chicken Are Good Friends and Shit smells good. Sadness, regret and disappointment have mixed feelings in my heart. My eyes were moist, and I murmured, "It's seven o'clock ... Seven sisters-in-law, I ... I don't want to eat in the canteen ..."
"Hum! ..... Jiubao band is still eating wowotou in the' fence'. Are you still in the mood to eat? Well ... men have no good things, only my fourth brother is affectionate and righteous. . . . . 。” Red pepper "is endless.
"Jiubao band is still eating steamed corn buns in the' fence' and I have a dime relationship. Why? ..... I can't even eat rice ... "I was dissatisfied. Suddenly, I found two people standing behind the "red pepper", impressively two little beauties Li Meina and Park Yinji, who were "spinning around before turning".
I was so surprised that I couldn't close my mouth, and then I said, "Huh? ..... How did you get to my school? ……"
"Hum! ..... I thought you left the two of us behind ... "Li Meina lost her footing, lifted her head back and said with great disdain.
"Poor honk accident, ani plug! ..... "PiaoYinJi mouth a sip, said with a smile.
"Hey hey ... where can! ..... I can't forget who can't forget you ... "I said cheekily here, and suddenly remembered that in" Red Pepper ",it was said that Jiubao band entered the" fence "and teased two little beauties in front of her, which seemed really heartless.
So, I quickly turned my eyes to "red pepper" and put on a bitter face and said to her, "Seven ... Seven sisters-in-law, I'm really sorry! ..... I'm also thinking about Jiubao. ... But Jiubao Band ... Jiubao Band ... "
"Ha ha ... old eight you say I'm sorry? ..... Then, invite the three of us to have dinner at Brother Wu's pile of "dead gas and white". As for me, for fourth brother's sake, I'll let bygones be bygones and spare you, you big idiot. ..... ""Red pepper "said with a smile.
"hmm? ..... Jiubao band is still eating wowotou in the fence. You two sisters-in-law get along really well. Why did you have the heart to joke that day? You also called me heartless ... "Thinking of this, I said coldly," If you don't invite you guys to dinner, you will pile up five brothers. But Jiubao Band ... Jiubao Band still stays in the' fence', and I'm not in the mood ... "
Park Hyun-hee is young, but she understands that I am in a bad mood. So, she giggled and said with a charming smile, "I'm afraid not, starling, don't be fooled by Sister Wenwen!" Sister Jiubao is on medical parole, and Sister Wenwen is going to see her, so I don't have time to have dinner with you. ……"
Although Jiubao Band was released on bail for medical treatment, Jiubao Band was still sentenced to death by the court for hooliganism, with a two-year suspension. Of course, this is another story. I couldn't help feeling sorry in my heart. I had the cheek to say to "red pepper" with a smile: "Hehe ... I seem to have lost my soul these days, and I don't speak without thinking. Seven sister-in-law, excuse me brothers ... "
"wow! ..... Look at the way you "fade", it's really "not funny". Who are you worried about all day? Why don't you soak your urine to death! ..... "After" Red Pepper "scolded me, she seemed to feel better and said with a sigh," Alas ... in recent months, Rourou has always been angry. She has always lost her temper, and no one dares to persuade her. ..... The seven fairies left her and her property. Can you have a good mood? Even your seventh brother is afraid to meet. ……"
Listening to the sadness of "red pepper", I can't help feeling sad. "Red Pepper" seemed to feel a little depressed, so he reluctantly smiled and said, "Hum ... your fourth brother, who is also your brother, bought you an original Japanese motorcycle. ..... But the price of our fourth brother is still in a' heap' with him all day, and he doesn't have any shares at all ... "
"ah? ..... Japanese original motorcycle? ..... "I was taken aback when I heard that. You know, although the living conditions improved at that time, the supply of materials was still quite scarce. Buy me an original Japanese motorcycle, which shows how much effort Fourth Brother has to spend.
"Red pepper" rolled his eyelids and said, "What are you doing? ..... Your fourth brother asked you to go to his house to get a motorcycle ticket, and go to the power company in the city to get a motorcycle tomorrow afternoon! ..... If your seventh brother doesn't come, I must come. Hmm ... it's really' lazy, lazy and supercilious'. Do you think I'd like to see your "two-foot-long donkey face" with "lost blood" ... "
When Li Meina saw a passing teacher or classmate looking at us in surprise, she quickly changed the subject and said, "I'm sorry, don't arrange anything else after you ride your motorcycle tomorrow." My second brother is scheduled to go to Taiping to eat dog meat tomorrow night. I have already made an appointment with my sister. She will go with Qi Ge and her sister. ……"
"Eat dog meat? ..... I haven't eaten dog meat for a long time. The greedy' saliva' flowed out. Ha ha ..... "I may be really heartless, and I have just been scolded by" red pepper ",but when I heard that there will be dog meat to eat tomorrow, I was happy again. I can't help thinking of eating dog meat, drinking soju and dancing with five beautiful women by the Songhua River.
That's how I cleaned Yamaha DX 100 motorcycle the day I came back. I'm going to Taiping to eat dog meat after washing the car. While cleaning the car, I was chatting with my new teacher, Master Cheng, who saw the mailroom in the dormitory. Master Cheng is very talkative and has a very speculative chat with me. However, when I asked Master Sa, who is used to meeting the mailroom, why the "black mouse" was missing, Master Cheng was passive in Nuo Nuo, avoiding the important and neglecting the important, and didn't tell me the reason for a long time. I know he doesn't want to talk, so I'm not forced.
After chatting for a while, Yamaha DX 100 motorcycle was also spotless. I wiped my sweat, stepped on DX 100, inserted the key and twisted it. DX 100 immediately gave a "chug chug" pleasant engine sound. Needless to say, this kind of engine has more dynamic sound and high return rate! I clenched the clutch, stepped on the pedal slightly with my toes, refueled, and then released the clutch. DX 100, like a sharp arrow, suddenly jumped out.
"ZhanZhiZhan ... big brother ... you stop! ..... What are you doing? Wait for me ... "I just want to refuel, make it faster, and attract the envy of male students and the love of female students. Suddenly, a voice called me from behind. Don't look back, I know it was Zheng Shuang who called me. I stopped DX 100 with a crunch, put my feet on the ground and turned to look back.
Sure enough, Zheng Shuang came running to me from a distance: "Big Brother ... whose motorcycle are you riding ..."
I deliberately talked about him from left to right and quipped, "Look at you! Look at you! ..... can't be gentle, why are you' covered in hair' and' panting' when you run? ..... If you cut off your teeth and cut off Geller's companion, you will let Big Brother die of love! ……"
"People are in a hurry ..." Zheng Shuang ran up to me, turned around DX 100, looked it up and down for a long time, and said, "Oh, my God ... this motorcycle is really beautiful! ..... Who did you steal from? ……"
I stared at a pair of strange eyes and said, "What is stealing? ..... This is what Brother Four bought for me. Serious is my motorcycle ... "
"You? ..... won't' fool' me? ..... "Seeing my victory, Zheng Shuang was overjoyed. He grabbed the handlebar with one hand and pulled me down with the other: "Get down! Come down! Come down! ..... Let me ride a circle and have fun ... "
I said with a sad face, "riding a motorcycle for my big sister is nothing." ..... But ... "
Zheng Shuang interrupted me and said, "But what? ..... I just saw five girls in my cousin's dormitory whispering for you. They are coming, so at least they have to ride alone. You don't know which head is lighter or heavier, do you? ……"
I said with a wry smile, "Be a good boy and fry green onions with lard!" " ..... I'm not afraid of you riding, motorcycle is riding. ..... Brother Tai is in a hurry to eat dog meat in Taiping North Korea. ……"
"Eat dog meat? ..... "Zheng Shuang's beautiful eyes immediately opened round:" Dog meat is ripe, Buddha jumps over the wall, dog meat rolls three towers, and the fairy can't stand steadily. " ..... I also want to eat dog meat! ……"
I am grateful that "Old Koryo" gave me a motorcycle. When I picked up my motorcycle ticket, I tried to convince him that "Sishao" would drive to pick him up and eat dog meat with him. I think he is Korean, too. He must have a common language with those villagers in North Korea. My hospitality was difficult, and "Lao Han" smiled and agreed. However, the departure of "Old Korea" and "Four Chopsticks" is a great face for "Two Chopsticks". Therefore, it's best to bring Zheng Shuang to cover yourself up.
I generously patted the back seat of DX 100 and said, "Come on up, for the sake of my sister! ..... Let's eat dog meat together. ……"
It seems that the temptation to eat dog meat has overcome the desire to ride a motorcycle. Anyway, the motorcycle is mine, and I will ride it sooner or later. But dog meat is different. After today, you may not be able to eat. Zheng Shuang will still calculate such a small account.
Zheng Shuang is naturally happy to sit in the back seat. I said, "Hold my waist tight and sit down ..."
My voice did not fall, DX 100 was already falling in the screams of Zheng Shuang, such as the left arrow "whoosh".
I cleaned my beloved Yamaha DX 100 motorcycle in a hurry, sent the bucket and rag back to the dormitory, and went to Hagrid's house for duty as agreed.
Sister-in-law Hui Min knows that I love her noodles with gravy, so she often cooks in person. I love "noodles with gravy" made by Hui Min's eldest sister-in-law, and I can never get enough. The noodles she rolled are delicious, not the same as the noodles with gravy in my hometown, but they are also rare delicacies. Huimin's "Zhajiang Noodles" is made of yellow mushrooms, fungus and diced meat. I can eat three bowls at a time, full of fragrance, and add a little shredded cucumber and garlic.
Brother Hai's home is not far from our school, and it takes less than ten minutes by motorcycle. When I rode to the railway crossing of Daoan Street and was about to turn the corner, suddenly, a girl called me behind me: "Hi ... Zhan Zhizhan! ……"
I'm surprised. Where do the girls here know about themselves? Listen to the voice is not Yin Rongrong, even Yin Rongrong would never call me "Zhan Zhizhan". I stopped the car and looked inside. It turned out to be my alumnus Wei. I couldn't help laughing: "Hehe ... The Guardian, it's you. ……"
The "Guardian" ran to me, his face was red, just like Haitang, and his whole body was full of the innocence of a girl and the elegance of youth: "War … war and wisdom, you treat your comrades as warm as spring. ..... I ... I thank you for saving me last time. ……"
As a matter of fact, I have no ill feelings towards The Guardian. I smiled faintly and said, "Nothing! Maybe you are not destined to be "whipped" by hooligans, and you met me by chance. Even if you don't meet me, you will meet someone else to save you. Perhaps, I was born really "King Kong" ... "
The Guardian lowered its head and said in several inaudible voices, "Living in a world without you.
More painful than any punishment. You know what?
Can someone take your place in my heart? Living in a world without you is more painful than any punishment. You know, you are irreplaceable to me. )"
I think this "guardian" clearly expressed his love to me. I can't help laughing to myself: "Be a good boy and fry green onions with lard!" " ..... Why doesn't this "Guardian" speak English instead of the fashionable word "special period of ten years"? Hehe ... it must be the word "love" to me, so I'm embarrassed to say it. ……"
To tell the truth, I never thought I could spark with the "guardian" and have love. So, I smiled and said, "OK ... but ... but we may not be made for each other. I ... I have a" date ". ……"
The "guardian" looked into the distance, sighed and said, "In this life, you will.
Regret two things: one is that you didn't get the person you love, and the other is that.
The person you love is unhappy. There are two regrets in a person's life: one is that he can't get the one he loves; Second, the beloved person can't get happiness. )……"
I felt a little sick and said, "Why? You have a date. ..... I can't stay in the dark, and I can't find it in the coal pile. Your date is much more handsome than me. ……"
"He lost," the Guardian said faintly with red eyes. He lost the proletarian revolutionary position, defected to his revolutionary comrades and became a shameful traitor "Zhigao Pu". ……"
Seeing the "guardian" crying, I was a little sorry and quickly advised: "No man or woman is worth it.
No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. )……"
The Guardian looked at me very eagerly and said, "The Revolutionary Party feels that Beijing is near, and when it wakes up, it feels that the President is very kind! Hope and trust are the tails of happiness.
Lizards can reproduce even if they are cut off. ) Hope and trust are the tails of lizards. Even if they are cut off, they will grow back. Can you come to my house and talk to me? ……"
I am most afraid of being begged by others in my life, especially beautiful women. I looked at the door of Hagrid's house close at hand and said awkwardly, "I really have something to do today." Will I come to your house one day? " ……"
The Guardian said eagerly, "Ten thousand years is too long, so seize the day. ..... Just for a while ... "
In the face of the gentle words of beautiful women, my heart softened.
I made fun of the "guardian" on purpose and pretended to be serious. I said, "Brother Guardian, the revolution is not about inviting guests to dinner, writing articles, painting and embroidering, so it can't be so elegant ..."
The Guardian blushed and whispered, "I know I was wrong before. You are a pure person, a moral person, and a person who is free from vulgar tastes. Do not laugh at me. I will never say that again. Will you forgive me? ……"
Say yes or no, this is another string. I was embarrassed to refuse again, so I put DX 100 in front of Hagrid, explained the reason, and came to her house with a cheerful guardian.
The home of "Guardian" is in a new five-story residential building. The two-bedroom room is clean and concise, which shows that the hostess is a clean and tasteful person. To my surprise, the photo frame on the wall is not inlaid with photos, but with the "advanced producer" award won by the male owner over the years and a large number of Chairman Mao badges produced in the "special period of ten years". The only photo is of three girls. I guess these three girls must be the "guardian" sisters. I had nothing to say, so I asked the Guardian with a smile: "Hey ... are you three sisters?" ……"
The Guardian replied with a smile: "Yes, there are three" Ya Dan sons "in our family. Guess which one is me. ……"
To tell the truth, all three girls in the photo are very beautiful and look very similar, just like triplets. It is really not easy to recognize which one is the "guardian" at once. I rolled my eyes and asked, "Who are you? ……"
When busy in the kitchen, the "guardian" turned around and said, "I have a sister who is studying medicine at the Fourth Military Medical University and is a classmate of martyr Zhang Hua. ..... and a younger sister in Harbin Normal University, a freshman in English. ……"
I sighed deliberately and said to the Guardian, "Alas … Look at this, you and your sister respect your sister very much. Do you always surround your sister in the middle? " ……"
Naturally, I didn't have foresight, and I never thought that Wei Daoyuan, the sister of the Guardian, and I would have such a special experience two years later. It was Wei Daoyuan who abandoned the secular world and snatched me back from the hand of death with his sweet milk, and became a younger sister whom I respected all my life and was closer than my own sister.
The Guardian said with beautiful eyes, "Oh, my God ... you are a ghost, so why are you so smart?" ……
"Guardian" must be an excellent housewife in the future. Before long, she cooked four side dishes. Fried peanuts, fried cabbage with fungus, a plate of shallots mixed with tofu, and a plate of scrambled eggs. Although it is not big fish and big meat, it is also delicious.
The "guardian" took out another bottle of "Yanghe Daqu" and said with a smile, "My father doesn't want to drink this bottle of wine. All reactionaries are paper tigers. Today, we will completely eliminate it. ……"
"Can you iron it? ..... "I smile Mimi.
The Guardian smiled: "Good! ...... "Spending dirty money on iced wine is a disease sooner or later." Hehe ... My father taught me this. ..... So, I also like to drink hot wine. ……"
After three glasses of wine, the "guardian" blushed and looked good. She threw a peanut into her mouth, chewing it, and mysteriously approached me and said, "Hey … Zhan Zhizhan, you know, those two people want … the public security bureau to catch my hooligan! ……"
I pretended not to understand and asked, "What's that? ……"
The Guardian naturally understands that I have no good intentions. She blushed and ignored my question, then said, "But the Public Security Bureau is also very strange. They were arrested the day before yesterday. These two hooligans were interrupted and cut off ... what? You got it? ..... Did you do it? ……"
I shook my head, but I knew it. Look at this technique, it must be the "four official seals" led by seven brothers. The "guardian" sat up straight and said bitterly, "Hum! ..... is really' not to report, it's not time'. At that time, report immediately! " Serve you right! ..... Come on, fight, you are worthy of the title of "King Kong", you are a real soldier! I propose a toast to you. ……"
- Related articles
- A picture of a circle of friends who announced the arrival of the second child, and the second child reported a picture of a happy circle of friends.
- Why should WeChat appeal be notified by SMS?
- How to check if the player has recharged in Contra Returns?
- When can Suzhou go to Nanjing to study?
- 10 A short message for children.
- Tips for Disease Control and Epidemic Prevention in Chunhua County, Xianyang in 2022 (Latest Notice of Xianyang Epidemic Prevention and Control)
- What's the illegal manual telephone number?
- What about code 95 and code 96?
- What if Didi's old mobile phone number is cancelled and I can't receive the verification code?
- Good morning, welcome to tea.