Seek classic funny short messages

1. Xiaohua, did you use my pencil? Xiaohua: No, I'm useless. Bug: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I'm so useless! Bug: Alas, you are the17th person to admit that you are useless.

Xiaoying borrowed a pen from Xiaoming, but Xiaoming didn't. Xiaoying: I would die if I borrowed it ... so Xiaoming lent his pen to Xiaoying. ...

After a while, Xiao Ming died. ...

Patient: "Doctor, I have a bad cough. Doctor: How old are you? Patient: 75 years old. 」

Doctor: "Do you cough at the age of twenty? Patient: No cough. Doctor: Did you cough when you were forty? Patient: I don't cough either 」

Doctor: "Then don't cough now. When do you cough? " ? 」

One day, Mr. Wang found his 5-year-old son Xiaoming acting strangely. In the evening, he stood by the window alone, waving his hand.

There seems to be something in my mouth. Mr. Wang walked quietly behind Xiaoming, but he heard Xiaoming say, "Goodbye, goodbye ..."

Mr. Wang looked out of the window, but there was no one. It's been like this for several days in a row. At this moment, Xiao Ming stood at the window.

Repeating the sentence that made Mr. Wang creepy. Finally, Mr. Wang couldn't help it. He called his son over.

"Xiao Ming, who are you saying goodbye to at this time every day?" "Grandpa." Xiao Ming looks naive.

Mr. Wang's scalp is fried. "Which ... which father-in-law?" "Grandpa Sun ~"

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

6. Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid. Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me question you. Squid said happily, cuff it!

Then the man roasted the squid. ..

7. Teacher: Why are you late? Xiaoming: Because of a street sign. Teacher: A street sign? What kind of signpost?

Xiaoming: It says "School ahead, go slow". ..

8. One day, the greedy dog jumped on the dining table to look for food and found a roast chicken. Just as he was about to eat,

The host suddenly shouted, if you dare to do anything to that chicken, I will do anything to you! So the puppy licked the chicken's ass.

9. Xiao Bai, Huang Xiao and Xiao Lan take a long-distance bus. Who gets carsick? Answer: Xiao Bai, because Xiao Bai will vomit (white rabbit).