[Notes on Blue Friends' Love] Report on Straight Men Picking up Girls Routine

Last month, a child sent me such a question in a private letter: "Lan Da, what routines do you have for straight men to chase girls?"

As a strict straight man, I thought for a long time and replied, "I have to think about it and tell you when I think about it."

Then I thought about it for a week and discussed it with several straight men for another week. I was surprised to find that the routine of chasing girls was strikingly similar. So I wrote this article to show some vulgar routines and psychological changes of straight men chasing girls.

First of all, we should understand the definitions of "straight man" and "straight man cancer", because many people often confuse the meanings of these two words.

Baidu's explanation is this: the so-called straight man refers to a man who only likes women under any circumstances. That is, heterosexual men

Straight male cancer is a satire on netizens who live in their own world outlook, values and aesthetics. It always shows their displeasure and dissatisfaction with each other and is slightly masculine.

So straight men are not equal to straight men's cancer, but they include straight men's cancer.

1, let's talk about why straight men like you after the definition. It can be summarized into two categories: love at first sight and love for a long time. (One day in a day ...)

There has been a simple and rude saying since ancient times:

The so-called love at first sight is only a matter of seeing the color, and long-term love is only a matter of weighing the pros and cons.

I can like you at once, because your breasts are big, your skin is white and your appearance is beautiful. You are talented and rich, so I like you after comparing with others.

2. After liking you, some straight men will be shy. They always put on a cold look at you, but their eyes can't help drifting to your chest ... No, it's your body.

Sometimes you will often meet each other, but when you meet him, you will pretend not to see you. This arrogant behavior belongs to a better term-"unrequited love".

3, but fortunately, most straight men who plan to chase you will take the initiative to chat with you first.

Straight men will talk about all kinds of topics and find all kinds of reasons to care about you.

"Drink more hot water", "Wear more clothes" and "Don't stay up late" are the three golden sentences that straight men regard as classics.

Straight men always want to create an intimate image for themselves, but many people fail to grasp this point, and eventually they become Luo Li's Luo Jiaying version of Tang Priest.

To tell the truth, chatting is called picking up girls, and when it is broken, it becomes harassment.

Boys think it's important to have a common topic. Some people will browse your circle of friends, Weibo and even QQ space to find topics, and want to know your preferences through these.

In an episode of the British drama Black Mirror, it is said that after his wife died, her husband copied a "wife" with several words in her social account, which shows that social networks reflect a person's way of thinking and preferences. Although some girls are disgusted with this behavior, it turns out that this trick is very useful.

Boys always like to add what you know or like intentionally or unintentionally in chat, in the hope of reaching a certain resonance with you.

4. He will become a loyal praise party in your circle of friends or Weibo. Even if you send a punctuation mark, he will lick a few words on his knees (this trick can also be used to test who is interested in you, whether male or female). People are more or less eager for attention and recognition, especially the content posted on social software. For girls who are not outstanding in appearance, this routine cannot be ignored.

He will also start to brush the screen in the circle of friends and pay attention to whether you like him or not. If you order it, he will secretly rejoice for a long time and take it as your approval for him.

5. Straight men are afraid of being labeled as "boring" by girls. After all, losing face and money is enough. If it's boring, it's no different from toad. Therefore, at this stage, many boys will uncharacteristically post something they think is interesting in their circle of friends, and sometimes share it with you separately.

In order to make themselves interesting, many people will label themselves as "funny" and "warm man". Actually, this kind of behavior is quite funny. After all, it is too cheap to tease and warm men now, and not everyone can become a basket of pigs.

6. selfies will increase.

So once you see a straight man suddenly taking a lot of selfies, there is no doubt that he must have someone he likes.

Let's take selfies, but many straight men's selfies are as fun as those from monkeys. Very spicy eyes. For example, the skinny upper body is half-naked, and the brain is full of pictures of fat people drinking, as well as the melancholy pig stream of "crying alone, true love is invincible" and so on.

Straight men have a natural resistance to beauty cameras, and many people have this idea in their hearts: I want to reflect the truest self (sometimes I incorporate this idea into photos taken for my girlfriend).

7. Straight men in our country will subconsciously resent their use of "beauty" to conquer women (mainly because they don't have this kind of beauty), so they often laugh at Lu Han, Oguri Shun and other stars who are labeled as beautiful men.

Boys have a natural aversion to their powerful people. If you want to change the prejudice of straight men, you must rely on extraordinary talents to overcome it (see Elvis Presley, Xiaolizi, Beckham, etc.). ).

This truth is just like a woman can conquer a man as long as her skin is white and beautiful and her breasts are big, but women conquer women by thinking, achievement, taste and temperament.

8. However, regarding appearance, although straight men say no, their actions are honest.

If girls are fashionable, then boys will also start to pay attention to dressing up. However, as far as the aesthetic and dressing level of straight men in China is concerned, don't expect too much (most straight men's aesthetic will be 5- 10 years behind).

In a word, dating is very nightclub, daily life is very hair salon, dressing like an intermediary, mixing and matching Monkey King.

1, after a straight man likes someone, he can't help but want to be nice to girls.

There are two ways to please girls: flattery and giving gifts.

Flattery actually runs through the pursuit of girls. The flattery of straight men is nothing more than "you are so beautiful", "your character is so gentle" and "you are so virtuous/talented". Old drivers can say these three items through 100.

It's worth talking about giving gifts.

When boys start chasing you, they usually pay attention to your birthday and various festivals and prepare small gifts. Gifts from old drivers are generally at prices you can't refuse.

Maybe girls have simple ideas about gifts, but,

You! Brave! Far away! Don't! Yes! Low! Estimate! Man! Health! Yes! Want to! Elephant! Awesome!

Sometimes I even feel that as a girl, I confiscated several beautiful gifts and my life is incomplete.

Have you forgotten how Master Tang was laughed at in those days?

Some of my female friends received great gifts: all brands of menstrual towels in the supermarket, a full set of wool selections, 20 kilograms of walnuts, and Durex wrapped in ipone boxes (of course, this one broke up). . . .

Boys are very paranoid about giving dolls, and almost every boy will give more than one doll on average in his life. I swear by instant noodle seasoning that most girls have received dolls-and they are usually big and ugly dolls.

Unfortunately, the dolls didn't end well in the end.

Most straight men don't like sending flowers, especially a bunch. Seldom send flowers alone. Flowers are usually used as an auxiliary foil for other gifts and are usually given separately.

Straight men subconsciously think that flowers are not durable and practical. Therefore, in the hearts of many straight men, they are eager to send a cauliflower to their beloved woman.

Girls often receive origami Kawasaki roses, golden roses or soap flowers.

Straight men are fascinated by the above three kinds of honey (the gifts that straight men are fascinated by honey are music boxes, crystal lights and so on. ).

Straight men are actually idiots of jewelry and perfume, and the main source of experience is Baidu. Straight men are obsessed with big bottles of perfume, gold bracelets and decorative necklaces, but their aesthetics always stay at the level of their mothers.

The recent YSL lipstick can be said to have saved straight men. But boys are not good at choosing color numbers, so sometimes they often send out full sets.

Snacks and chocolates are also good choices, but straight men will only buy cheaper gift packages.

1, chatting is a girl's natural ability, and liking chatting can be said to be engraved into a woman's genes. Most boys also know this.

Boys believe that your relationship can go further through chatting, and more believe that women will rely on the person who chats with her every day-after all, chicken soup says so, and straight men all believe it.

2. However, due to the difference of thinking between men and women, many boys are not very successful in deep communication-although they can keep punching in every day, they can't achieve the effect of heart-to-heart. Seriously, it will even attract girls' boredom. Therefore, online jokes about "good night" and "going to bed early" will emerge one after another.

When chatting, boys always introduce themselves intentionally or unintentionally. Many of them are full of pretentious elements, because

Boys should shape their psychological advantages.

No matter how good you are, I must have something better than you.

It is impossible for a boy to show weakness in front of a girl he likes. Self-esteem is not allowed.

There are still some bragging forces, because they are forced to draw a big cake first, so that girls have the illusion that he is a potential stock.

Give a chestnut: I have a beautiful friend. The year before last, a young man chased her and said something like this: "I am a little short of money recently, because my business at home has failed, and I may have no money for the time being." But I will get a new project soon. I may earn 500 thousand next year, and then we will get married. " At that time, my friend was still very moved, so I sent a screenshot to my circle of friends. I feel that I have found someone I can rely on, but the result is just a routine, and Diaosi has not completed the counterattack.

When the topic is exhausted, some stupid straight men will start to hurt you in order to create chat opportunities.

For example, he will say that your beautiful photos are really ugly, and your cooking will say that it must be terrible.

Men really haven't changed their love for girls who upset them since childhood.

In fact, what he did was just to highlight his difference by being cheap-he wanted your attention and your mood swings. Of course, the result is often counterproductive, and the outcome is either ignored or blacklisted.

6. Sometimes you will meet a boy who flirts with you. Some girls often spit out things that they can't help but confess after being teased, but the result is rejected.

From a straight man's point of view, as long as it's funny, it's probably a little interesting to you.

After all, even if life is long, will you have nothing to do and play with beggars in mud pits?

There are many reasons for refusing, such as the spare tire is better than you, the reality does not allow it, and you have a girlfriend. Because of rational or moral constraints, you will refuse, but some people will not really say to death. I have seen many boys have this mentality of seducing girls.

This is probably the case with Zhong Wuyan in Song of Female Spare Tire.

1, ambiguous to a certain extent, the next step is to invite you to dinner or watch a movie and other "two-person activities."

If he really likes you, then he will definitely perform the itinerary 10,000 times in his mind-even he has already figured out what to say after he has rolled the sheets (believe it or not).

2. At night, cinemas and parks are all high-frequency options. After all, it's easy to do things after dark, hehe. On the contrary, if the date is a mess and there is no arrangement, it also shows that he is not interested in you, but just wants to fuck you.

3. Boys will try to touch you on a date.

Touching the chest is too timid, hugging the waist is too obscene, touching the ass is too obscene, and holding hands is too intimate, so the head is the hardest hit. This is why boys like "touching their heads" so much.

But the straight man who first fell in love seems to have moved you because of his inexperience.

In fact, straight men hope to verify whether you have a good impression on him in this way.

Generally speaking, after the first date, I seldom confess, but chat, praise and ask for help as usual. During this period, the hormones of straight men will soar rapidly, and they often have some small fantasies. Sometimes they will shoot at your photos or dream that you will do unspeakable things together at night.

Some people feel guilty. But when I see you, the surface will still be calm, pretending that I have no requirements.

5. If the first date is unsuccessful and the second date begins, straight men will pay great attention to their words and deeds, and some people will even think about dialogue. On the contrary, if the first time is more successful, the second time will be more open.

On the second date, straight men will spare no effort to show their wit, humor and extensive knowledge in a limited time. Novices often tell a lot of cold jokes, which is embarrassing. Old drivers are different. They will make your flowers tremble.

A man will try to make you fall in love with him through a successful date-unfortunately, it is difficult for most girls to become enthusiastic.

6. After dating, boys usually offer to go to a nearby park or take you home. Going to the park is nothing but looking for opportunities to get in touch with you. But sending you home will deepen your daily life.

Straight men are always full of fantasies and expectations about sending girls home.

When you arrive at your door, some people will preemptively say in a half-joking tone, "Won't you invite me in for a drink?" This kind of question is generally difficult to refuse. If you can enter your home, more than half of the men will think about how to get to the base smoothly.

The most obvious signal is that he wants to visit your bedroom. The idiom "inviting a wolf into the room" has a very wide meaning.

If you refuse him to enter the house, then the boy will usually make one last effort before you close the door, thinking that at least one hug or kiss is enough. Many movies at home and abroad will have scenes of men and women talking at home.

Both men and women, in this scene, psychological changes are very subtle.

If a boy invites you to his home, the meaning is even more obvious.

Especially when boys prepare drinks for you.

I heard such a thing from my colleagues: a girl and her boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship. A colleague B in the company liked her and confessed. But I didn't say yes. As a result, once a girl quarreled with her boyfriend, and she and her colleague B were drinking at B's house. As a result, I drank and drank, and I drank the great harmony of life.

Although many people now blame promiscuity for everything after drunkenness, it is only self-deception to let wine bear all the responsibility.

In fact, wine is quite innocent, because men can't even think about XXOO when they are drunk.

1, before the relationship is determined, chatting and dating is the main purpose of boys.

Many holidays are regarded as good opportunities by straight men. For example, April Fool's Day, Chinese Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day and Christmas Day, and later developed 520 and Double Eleven Singles' Day.

2. Straight men like to confess after a successful date, because psychologically, they feel that the chances of success are higher.

So what is a successful date? Dating, holding hands, hugging and kissing are all successful (nonsense)

In fact, in the eyes of boys, touching girls' heads or faces, getting close side by side or smiling happily at girls are also regarded as success. If none of them are achieved, then 80% of the boys will not confess. This is the same reason that you failed in the exam and didn't get the reward from your parents.

3. Because of the embarrassment of being rejected in person, many people will choose to send WeChat or SMS after the date. Men are sometimes more afraid to face it than girls.

But to be honest, in fact, men are more eager to be confessed than women. Nine times out of ten men have thought about the following scenario.

4. Some straight men will choose a big confession, such as putting candles at school.

Straight men think it's romantic Sometimes, I will try to make girls feel hot with the boos of onlookers and promise myself. Straight men with this behavior are either determined to win or cross the rubicon. This method has a high success rate for inexperienced girls, but there are also many rejections, which is quite embarrassing and can be on the news almost every time.

5. If it's a blind date, it's much easier to express one's feelings. Usually, houses, cars and savings are used to attract the woman. Simple and direct, weigh the pros and cons and get what you want.

6. If the confession is unsuccessful, many straight men will give up after the girl refuses once.

On the one hand, the face of straight men is very expensive, on the other hand, men are actually more afraid of pain than women (after all, women can enhance their resistance by menstruating once a month).

7. But many people will choose to keep chasing, and the routines are also varied.

Some people deliberately put photos with other girls on social software to create a very ambiguous atmosphere, and try to tell girls: "There are many women around me", "I am not unwelcome" and "I am also excellent" and so on.

Behind this childish behavior is either trying to make girls angry or some kind of unconvinced psychology is at work.

Sometimes, I also use some hard-to-get methods, using the aforementioned "women will rely on the person who chats with her every day." There are not a few girls who have been recruited. In fact, the principle is to use people's dependence and unwillingness.

There are also some straight men who will make the behavior of "suddenly appearing downstairs in your house and not leaving until they come out", using the kindness of girls to follow them. A friend once used this routine. He stayed downstairs in a girl's house in the middle of the night until he met her, and finally succeeded in catching up with the girl.

The routine of "seeing the last side" is also very common. But most boys will use this meeting to put all their eggs in one basket, so they will make careful preparations, hoping to take advantage of the "last" psychological advantage and win the hearts of girls in one fell swoop. (Note: Of course, it will happen many times: when a girl explicitly rejects a boy, the boy becomes angry from embarrassment and makes a strong kiss or animal behavior. There are many such cases on the Internet, such as the sensational Zhou Yan case in previous years. )

8. Some boys will also choose the strategy of "curve saving the country" after sending a friend card. Many people will settle for the second best and say, "Then let's be good friends." In this case, there are generally three kinds of people.

The first one will decide whether to change your goal to B, C or D tomorrow at the moment you refuse. There are not a few such people-they have spare tires, but at the same time they will line up at other girls' spare tires. The attitude of boys who change their goals will change 180 degrees. Some girls often have all kinds of "love fantasies" because of the gap between before and after, which is quite sad.

The second will take advantage of girls' guilt, occupy the position of girls' "girlfriends" and "blue faces", use this position to eliminate dissidents and wait for opportunities. This routine is deep.

From God's point of view, more than 80% of men and women have the idea of being with good friends. After all, people who can become good friends have some advantages that you like.

The third kind will play the card of bitterness-pull you to chat that night, talk until midnight, say how much you love you, and try to influence you. But in the end, metropolis becomes you to comfort him. Generally speaking, this kind of boy is moved by true feelings, but in the end he often becomes a spare tire.

Others go to extremes, and they will start to indulge themselves, promiscuous and even commit suicide. There are two reasons for this. One is to stimulate the motherhood of girls, who like to save. The other is to make girls feel heavy guilt. Finally, girls often stay with each other out of sympathy or psychological pressure. It's best to stay away from such people.

1, after determining the relationship, men will want to hug, kiss and have sex at the first time. So it is absolutely correct that men are lower-body animals. But most people don't show it right away. It takes some time for most people to express this idea. However, because some boys love or respect each other too much, even if they have ideas, they will choose to exercise restraint.

In fact, there is no absolute difference between sex and true love, and sex in bed is also an important part of love.

But love rat, who just wants to mate with you, usually mentions opening a house intentionally or unintentionally after catching up with you, and the longest patience will not exceed three months. This period can also be used as a test standard. I suggest talking about friends first, and don't "cherish friendship" too early.

3. In order to break the last layer of "enough paper", boys who take kidneys often use various means to achieve their goals.

The cheapest (and usually the most effective) is "commitment"-such as commitment to marriage and commitment to the future.

Girls are often easily deceived by boys saying "I am willing to marry you", especially girls who have sex for the first time.

In fact, when a man's sperm enters his brain, even if you ask him to pick you a moon tomorrow, he can promise. After all, picking the moon is tomorrow, and before tomorrow comes, all awesome things are possible. For a man, you should see what he does first, and then what he hears, instead of changing the order.

If the commitment doesn't work, boys will often create opportunities to be alone.

Apart from the option of "playing at home", traveling together is the most popular daily activity.

The reason is probably that girls don't refuse to travel, and boys prefer to sleep with girls in this seamless way. After all, travel is a luxury consumption, and sharing is almost the default option.

However, if girls say they want to sleep in separate rooms, boys will try their best to persuade or even get angry, and even cancel the trip in serious cases.

Love rat, who just wants to have sex, usually disappears in after making love or gives you the cold shoulder. Sometimes I am only enthusiastic about you when I have physical needs.

Sometimes some scum men want to break up, but in order to alleviate their guilt, they will use indifference, alienation and verbal slander to force you to break up first.

Speaking of it, pattering is the watershed of love. After that, some lovers' feelings "advance by leaps and bounds", while others' feelings are getting worse and worse.

Since ancient times, deep feelings can't stay, and only routines can win people's hearts. Chasing girls is really a tricky thing, so all boys will use all kinds of routines when chasing girls, but the means are different.

In the blogger's view, all routines should be applied for the purpose of love. Without the proposition of love, all routines will have a wretched taste.

Finally, I want to share with you one of my favorite words: May you meet a lover, give you a happy city, and make the long songs warm and floating.