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How to politely refuse a date invitation
Part 1: Good attitude
1, thank each other. Remember, it takes a lot of courage for the other person to ask you out. If you sincerely thank the other person for his invitation, express your gratitude to him, which can alleviate the blow caused by refusing the other person.
2. compliment each other. Be nice before refusing and give them some positive feedback. Specify what advantages you like or appreciate about her. For example, you can compliment each other like this: "I am very happy with you, but"
"You have been my good friend for the past few months, but"
"I'm glad you invited me. You are a considerate and kind person, but "
3. Pay attention to your body language. You may have a clear mouth and a firm attitude, but body language conveys opposite or confusing information. Don't stay away from each other, but don't bend over. Don't put your hand on your chest, look at each other's eyes and smile. This is an embarrassing situation, but you should try to relax your body language and try not to grit your teeth, frown or pucker up your lips, which may make you look harsh and mean.
4. Don't gossip everywhere. If someone asks you out, or you really want to tell your best friend about it, it may make you laugh. Don't spread the news that the other party asked you out. Respect each other's feelings and remember that it takes a lot of courage to ask you out. If the other person sends a text message asking you out, don't show it to others.
If the other person asks you out through social media, don't take screenshots for others to see.
Part II: Rejection
1, to be honest. Tell the other person the truth about why you refused. You don't have to be too blunt or very rude, but you must make it clear why you are not interested. Don't use vague excuses or lies that can be seen through at a glance. If the person who asked you out has dated you once or twice before, but you have no feelings for the other person, you can say, "We had a good time on our first date, but I don't feel that way about you." It doesn't sound as hurtful as "I don't find you attractive".
If you are asked out by a new classmate or colleague who doesn't know that you are dating someone else, you can say, "I'm glad you invited me and I'm glad to meet you, but there is one thing you must know-I'm already dating someone else."
Don't go against your heart to please others. It is human nature to avoid feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed, but don't accept an invitation just to make the other person feel better. If you refuse her in the future, she will be confused. Don't cheat anyone. When you refuse, you should: be direct. You can refuse each other without any explanation, which is your right.
Don't apologize excessively. You don't have to apologize for your feelings. It is your right to express your feelings honestly.
Be firm. If your message is not understood, or the other person tries to change your mind, refuse the other person again.
3. Refuse in time. Don't drag the other person to ask you out. Don't hide or avoid him, because it is disrespectful. You don't want to be treated like this, so don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. Give the other party an answer in time. If the situation is complicated and you really need time to think about your answer, just tell the other person directly and ask them to give you some time.
For example, if you have a crush on someone who asks you out, but he once dated your friend, you probably shouldn't turn him down immediately. Instead, you can say, "I'm not sure. I like you, and I should be happy to go out with you, but I know you have dated my friend. I'll talk to her first and then give you an answer. "
4. Be polite. When you refuse, you should make her feel that you are listening carefully and respect her feelings, and show your manners in this way. Respond to each other in a mature way and let her know that you are a good person. Choose the right environment to refuse each other. If she asks you out face to face, but there are others present, it's best to wait until it's just the two of you before refusing each other. You can say, "Thank you very much! Why don't we have a cup of coffee, or take a walk and talk while walking? "
Choose communication methods. If the other person asks you out via SMS, email or social media, you can reply to her in the same way or give her a call.
Part 3: Dealing with each other's reactions
1, showing empathy. Be compassionate and consider each other's feelings. Listen patiently and respond to his answers. Let him know that you appreciate his courage to speak out and not be afraid of being hurt, and value his feelings. You can say, "I know you must be very sad or confused now." Thank you for your invitation. It takes a lot of courage, and you have overcome the difficulties I can't imagine. "
You can say, "What can I do to make you feel better? I know this may be strange because we have to go to school together. "
2. Propose alternatives. If you trust or like the person who asks you out but don't want to date him, maybe you can help him in other ways. Do not correlate and provide other options. Find a friend who is suitable for dating her and recommend her. You must ask this friend's permission first.
If the other person and you are not friends yet, ask if you can become friends.
If you are not sure how to answer the other person, or don't want to date the other person now, but you may change your mind in the future, you can ask the other person to give you more time.
If you don't know her very well, but want to get to know her better before a formal date, you can suggest that you spend more time alone.
3. Pay attention to safety. Beware of those who are entangled or unwilling to accept rejection. Pay attention to each other's angry reactions and insults. If you refuse the other person, his reaction makes you feel uneasy, he feels offended, or his behavior is inappropriate, you can protect yourself in the following ways: If you are alone with him, make sure that someone knows where you are.
Leave the scene immediately and go to a place where there are people.
Block him on all social media applications or dating sites you have contacted with him.
Don't return his phone calls, emails or text messages.
Be careful not to get along with him alone in the future.
4. Deal with guilt. Your refusal may be euphemistic, but the other party may still find it hard to accept and show a strong negative reaction. This may make you feel guilty and feel that you should take care of each other's feelings and promise each other. Or the other person tries to arouse your guilt, but you don't have to feel sad or guilty, because you have expressed your feelings and thoughts frankly and honestly. You can't force yourself to feel something. If you have no contact with each other, you can't convince or deceive yourself to like each other. The other person's reaction is her own business. If she can't accept it, it's not your responsibility.
Tip: If after trying the above steps, the other person starts to show rude behavior or aggressive attitude, you'd better stay away from the other person.
If you don't like the other person, you'd better refuse coldly and politely. Being too friendly will make them think they still have hope and you will change your mind.
Even if you are very kind and tactful when you refuse, the other person's feelings may still be hurt. Not everyone can bear the blow of rejection.
Some people find it hard to accept rejection. Even a polite refusal is no exception.
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