Want to learn etiquette! Social and other complex relationships, but I don't know where ~ who can tell me? Thank you! ! !

First, the origin and development of Chinese etiquette (1, the state of etiquette? )

China has been a famous country of etiquette since ancient times. Its long history of etiquette development can be roughly divided into eight periods: etiquette germination period, etiquette initial period, etiquette formation period, etiquette development and reform period, etiquette strengthening period, etiquette decline period, modern etiquette and contemporary etiquette. The formation and development of etiquette has experienced a gradual process from scratch, from low to high, from scattered to complete.

1, etiquette germination period (50,000 BC-BC 1 10,000 BC)

Etiquette originated from primitive society. In the primitive social history of more than 6.5438+million years, human beings gradually moved towards civilization. In the middle and late period of primitive society (about Paleolithic Age), the seeds of early etiquette appeared. For example, people who lived at the top of Zhoukoudian cave in Beijing about 18000 years ago already knew how to dress themselves up. They decorate their necks with perforated animal teeth and stone beads. Their deceased sprinkled hematite powder beside them and held a primitive religious ceremony, which was the earliest funeral ever discovered in China.

2. The initial period of etiquette (BC 10000-22nd century BC)

N Around BC 10000, human beings entered the Neolithic Age, not only making finely polished stone tools, but also engaging in agriculture and animal husbandry. In the following thousands of years, primitive etiquette gradually took shape. For example, in the Banpo site near Xi 'an today, the public cemetery of people who lived in Banpo village about 5,000 years ago was discovered. The pits in the cemetery are arranged in an orderly way, and the identities of the deceased are different. There are upturned burials with sacrifices and curved burials without sacrifices. In addition, other sites and related materials in Yangshao culture period show that people have noticed the order of inferiority and the difference between men and women. And the elders sit in their seats, and the younger generation sits in the bottom; Manners such as men sitting on the left and women sitting on the right are becoming more and more clear.

3. Etiquette formation period (2 BC1century-77 BC1year)

N From about 2 1 century BC to 77 1 year BC, China entered the Bronze Age from the Stone Age. The use of metalworking has made agriculture, animal husbandry and handicraft production leap to a new level. With the improvement of living standards, social wealth has been surplus except consumption and gradually concentrated in the hands of a few people, resulting in class opposition and the disintegration of primitive society.

From the 2nd1century BC to the 5th century BC, the Xia Dynasty began the transition from the end of primitive society to the early slave society in China. During this period, the activities of worshipping God warmed up.

In primitive society, due to the lack of scientific knowledge, people did not understand some natural phenomena. They guess that the sun shining on the earth is a god, the wind has a wind god, and the river has a river god ... Therefore, they fear and worship "God". In a sense, early etiquette contains some norms of human life in primitive society and is also the product of religious belief in primitive society. In China, the traditional Chinese character "Li" stands for God on the left and a sacrifice to God on the right. Therefore, Xu Shen, a scholar in the Han Dynasty, said: "Courtesy is also good, so things are blessed." ("Shuo Wen Jie Zi")

N The Yin people, who started their activities with the Yin ruins as the center, were active in China from14th century BC to1th century BC. They established Yindu, the first ancient capital of China, located in Anyang, Henan Province, and their achievements in marriage customs were concealed by their enthusiasm for worshipping gods and ghosts.

Overthrew the Zhou Dynasty of the Yin Dynasty and made many contributions to etiquette. In particular, Zhou Wuwang's younger brother, Duke Zhou, assisted Zhou Chengwang, which played an important role in the establishment of the etiquette system in the Zhou Dynasty. He creates ceremonies and music, and puts people's behavior and psychological emotions in an orderly mode of respect and inferiority. Zhou Li is the first etiquette monograph in China that comprehensively introduces the system of the Zhou Dynasty. Zhou Li (also known as Zhou Guan) was originally an official list, but after finishing, it became a book about the laws and regulations of the Zhou Dynasty. There are six original articles in Zhou Li, which introduce six official names and their powers in detail. There are 5 existing articles, and the sixth article is supplemented by the examination. These six officials are called Tianguan, Diguan, Guan Chun, Xiaguan, Qiu Guan and Dongguan respectively. Among them, Tianguan is in charge of palace affairs, wealth and goods. Local officials are responsible for education, municipal affairs, etc. Spring officials are in charge of five rites, music and dance. Xia Guan is in charge of military and border defense; Qiu Guan is in charge of criminal law and foreign affairs. The winter official is responsible for civil engineering.

The five rituals in charge of Spring officials, namely, auspicious ceremony, fierce ceremony, guest ceremony, military ceremony and ceremony, are important aspects of the etiquette system in Zhou Dynasty. Ji Li, refers to the sacrificial ceremony; Fierce rites mainly refer to funeral etiquette; Ceremony refers to the etiquette of the emperor's pilgrimage and the alliance between the princes; Military ceremonies mainly include military parade and departure ceremony. Gifts, including coronation ceremony, wedding ceremony, country drinking ceremony, etc. It can be seen that many basic etiquette had been basically formed in the late Shang Dynasty and early Zhou Dynasty. In addition, the Book of Changes, which was written in Shang and Zhou Dynasties, and the Book of Songs, which was generally stereotyped in Zhou Dynasty, also contained some etiquette contents.

N In the Western Zhou Dynasty, bronze ritual vessels were a symbol of personal status. The number of ritual vessels represents the status level, and the size of the body shows the power level. At that time, it was a fashion for nobles to wear jade ornaments in groups. Meeting gifts and weddings (including "six gifts" such as receiving gifts, asking names, Najib, receiving badges, inviting guests, welcoming relatives, etc.) have become stereotyped and popular among the people. In addition, etiquette such as respecting the elderly and loving the young has also been clearly established.

4. The development and transformation period of etiquette (770 BC-22 BC1year, Eastern Zhou Dynasty)

At the end of the Western Zhou Dynasty, the royal family declined and the princes competed for hegemony. In 770 BC, Zhou Ping moved to Luoyi, known as the Eastern Zhou Dynasty. The Eastern Zhou Dynasty, which inherited the Western Zhou Dynasty, has been unable to fully abide by the traditional etiquette system, resulting in the so-called "ritual collapse and bad music".

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, the slave society in China was transformed into a feudal society. During this period, Confucius, Mencius, Xunzi and other ideological giants emerged one after another, developing and innovating the etiquette theory.

Confucius (5565438 BC+0-479 BC) was a great thinker and educator in ancient China. He pioneered private teaching and broke the situation of aristocratic monopoly of education. He deleted poems and books, set rites and music, praised Zhouyi and revised Chunqiu, which made important contributions to the collation and preservation of history and culture. The Book of Rites edited by him recorded in detail all kinds of etiquette and ceremonies of aristocratic life before the Warring States Period. Yili and Zhou Li and The Book of Rites compiled by Confucius are the earliest and most important etiquette works in ancient China.

Confucius believed that "you can't stand without learning etiquette". ("The Analects of Confucius Ji Shi Pian") "Quality is better than literature, and literature is better than quality. Gentleness is a gentleman. " (The Analects of Confucius Yongye) He asked people to restrain their behavior with moral norms, so as to achieve "see no evil, don't listen to indecent assault, don't speak indecent assault, and don't move indecent assault." (The Analects of Confucius, Yan Yuan) He advocated "the benevolent loves others" and emphasized that people should have compassion, care for each other and respect each other. In a word, Confucius systematically expounded the essence and function of ceremony and etiquette, and raised the etiquette theory to a new height.

Mencius (about 372-289 BC) was the main representative of Confucianism in the Warring States Period. In political thought, Mencius developed Confucius' thought of benevolence, put forward the theories of "kingly way", "benevolent government" and "people despise monarch", and advocated "serving people with virtue". In moral cultivation, he advocates "giving up life for righteousness". ("Mencius Gao Zi Shang") Pay attention to "self-cultivation" and cultivate "noble spirit".

Xunzi (about 298-238 BC) was a great thinker at the end of the Warring States Period. He advocated "long ceremony" and "emphasizing law", and advocated paying equal attention to etiquette and law. He said: "Owners have equal grades, different ages and different wealth." ("Xunzi Guo Fu") Xunzi pointed out: "Rites are to the country, just as scales are to weight, and ropes are to ink to merit. An old friend is rude, everything is rude, and the country is rude and uneasy. " ("Xunzi Outline") Xunzi also proposed that there should be not only courtesy, but also the rule of law. Courtesy is reciprocated, and the legal system is complete, so that the country can be peaceful. Xunzi attached importance to the influence of objective environment on human nature, and advocated learning to be excellent and being an official.

5. Period of strengthening etiquette (22 BC1year-A.D. 1796)

In 22 1 year BC, Ying Zheng, king of Qin, finally annexed six countries, unified China and established the first centralized feudal dynasty in China history. Qin Shihuang promoted "the same book, the same car, the same track" and "the same line" throughout the country. The centralization of authority formulated by the Qin Dynasty became the foundation of the feudal system that lasted for more than two thousand years.

N In the early years of the Western Han Dynasty, Uncle assisted Liu Bang, the Emperor Gaozu of Han Dynasty, in making ritual vessels, which highlighted the development of etiquette and music (3, Prime Minister Liu). However, Dong Zhongshu (BC 179- BC 104), a thinker in the Western Han Dynasty, systematized the theory of feudal autocracy and put forward the theory that "only the son of heaven does what he wants, and the world is ordered by the son of heaven". (biography of Han Dong Zhongshu) He summarized Confucian etiquette as "three cardinal guides and five permanents". "Three cardinal guides" means "the monarch is the minister, the father is the son, and the husband is the wife." The "five permanents" are benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom and faith. Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, adopted Dong Zhongshu's suggestion of "ousting a hundred schools of thought and respecting Confucianism alone", which customized Confucian ethics.

N In the Han Dynasty, The Book of Rites, compiled by Confucius' post-learning, came out. There are 49 articles in The Book of Rites, including How Rich and Expensive. Among them are Quli about ancient customs (1 article); There is "Li Yun" (the ninth chapter) about the evolution of ancient catering houses; There is an internal rule to record family etiquette (article 12); Jade bath recording the clothing system (13); There is a book about the relationship between teachers and students (article 18); There are also ways and means to teach people moral cultivation, that is, "self-cultivation, keeping the family in order, governing the country and leveling the world" (Article 42). In a word, The Book of Rites is the epitome of ancient etiquette and the main source of etiquette in feudal times.

N During the prosperous Tang Dynasty, The Book of Rites rose from Ji to Jing, and became one of the three books of the Book of Rites (the other two books were He). (Li Bai: "Li Bai will want to travel by boat")

Neo-Confucianism, which is based on Confucianism and compatible with Taoism and Buddhism, appeared in the Song Dynasty, and its main representatives were Cheng Yi brothers and Zhu. Cheng believes that "father and son, monarch and minister, the principle of the world, no one can escape from heaven." ("Cheng Cheng's suicide note", Volume 5) "Etiquette is reason." (Volume 25 of Cheng Cheng's suicide note) Zhu further pointed out that "benevolence is greater than father and son, and righteousness is greater than monarch and minister, which is the key and foundation of the three cardinal guides and the five permanent members. There is no escape between heaven and earth. " Zhu's exposition makes Tian Li's theory more rigorous and refined.

The research on family etiquette is fruitful, which is another feature of the development of etiquette in Song Dynasty. Among a large number of family etiquette works, there are Su Shui Jia Yi written by Sima Guang (A.D.10/9-1086), a historian in the Northern Song Dynasty, and Four Books Collection Notes written by Zhu (A.D.1086), a philosopher in the Southern Song Dynasty.

N In the Ming Dynasty, the ceremony of making friends was more perfect, and there were more and more etiquette of loyalty, filial piety, chastity and righteousness.

6. Etiquette decline period (A.D.1796-1911).

After the Manchu entered the customs, they gradually accepted the etiquette system of the Han nationality and complicated it, making some etiquette seem vain and cumbersome. For example, in the Qing dynasty, people with low grades paid homage to people with high grades, often kneeling three times and then kneeling nine times. (The Canon of Qing Dynasty). In the late Qing Dynasty, the Qing Dynasty was corrupt and the people were poor. Ancient etiquette has its ups and downs. With the spread of western learning to the east, some western etiquette was introduced to China. During the period of Beiyang New Army, the army adopted the hand-raising ceremony of the western army instead of the untimely tempering ceremony.

7. Modern Etiquette Period (191-1949, Republic of China)

At the end of n 19 1 1, the Qing dynasty fell. Dr. Sun Yat-sen (A.D. 1866- 1925), who was far away in the United States at that time, rushed back to the motherland and arrived at 19 12+ 1. Dr. Sun Yat-sen and his comrades-in-arms broke new ground by replacing the monarchy with civil rights and the patriarchal hierarchy with freedom and equality. Popularize education and abolish the worship of Confucius and reading classics; Change customs, cut braids, and prohibit foot binding. , thus officially opened the curtain of modern etiquette. (Chinese tunic suit)

During the Republic of China, the handshake ceremony introduced to China from the west began to be popular in the upper class, and then gradually spread to the people.

N In the 1930s and 1940s, Soviet areas and liberated areas led by China's * * * production party attached great importance to cultural and educational undertakings, changed customs, and wrote a new chapter in modern etiquette.

8. Contemporary Etiquette Period (1949 to present)

1949 10 1, People's Republic of China (PRC) was proclaimed, and China's etiquette construction entered a new historical period. Since the founding of New China, the development of etiquette can be roughly divided into three stages:

(1) Etiquette Innovation Stage (1949—— 1966)

From 1949 to 1966, it is an innovative stage in the history of contemporary etiquette development in China. During this period, the feudal ethics such as "the sovereign power and destiny", "the foolish loyalty and filial piety" and the "three obedience and four virtues" which severely bound women were abandoned, and a new social relationship of cooperation and mutual assistance and equality between men and women was established, while the essence of traditional etiquette in China, such as respecting the old and caring for the young, paying attention to faithfulness, treating others sincerely, putting others before themselves, and honoring each other, was inherited and carried forward.

(2) Etiquette degradation stage (1966- 1976)

From n 1966 to 1976, China carried out the "Cultural Revolution". Ten years of turmoil has caused irreparable serious losses to the country and brought "catastrophe" to etiquette. Many excellent traditional etiquette were swept into the garbage and became "sealing materials". Etiquette was destroyed and social atmosphere reversed.

(3) Etiquette revival stage (1977 till now)

Since the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee of the n 1978 Party, the spring breeze of reform and opening up has spread all over the motherland, and China's etiquette construction has entered a new all-round revival period. From advocating civilized and polite language to actively establishing new trends in the industry, from carrying out "18-year-old adult etiquette education activities" to formulating civic civilization conventions, etiquette norms in all walks of life have been introduced one after another, and job training and etiquette education have become increasingly prosperous, emphasizing civilized manners has become the norm. A number of newspapers and periodicals related to etiquette, such as Public Relations and Modern Communication, came into being, and books, dictionaries and teaching materials introducing and studying etiquette, such as China Practical Etiquette, Appellation Dictionary and Foreign Customs and Etiquette, came out continuously. Etiquette culture has once again landed in China, and the Chinese nation with excellent cultural traditions has set off a new climax of spiritual civilization construction. SMS blessing)

Second, the summary of western etiquette research results

Aegean region and Greece are the cradles of western classical civilization in Eurasia. From about 6000 BC, the inhabitants of Aegean Islands began to engage in agricultural production. Since then, Crete culture and Mycenae culture have appeared one after another. 1 1 century BC, ancient Greece entered the Homeric era named after Homer's epic.

Homer's epics include Heriat and Odyssey. This famous narrative poem mainly describes the story of the Battle of Troy and the Greek hero Odyssey, and also discusses etiquette. Only those who are polite and trustworthy will be respected.

Ancient Greek philosophers had many wonderful expositions on etiquette. For example, Pythagoras (580-500 BC) first put forward the view that "virtue is a kind of harmony and order"; Socrates (469 BC-399 BC) believed that the task of philosophy is not to talk about heaven and earth, but to understand people's inner world and cultivate people's moral concepts. He not only teaches people to treat others with courtesy, but also practices it in life and acts as a teacher. Plato (427 BC-347 BC) emphasized the importance of education. Point out the four moral goals of the ideal: wisdom, courage, temperance and justice; Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) pointed out that virtue is justice. He said: "human beings have achieved something because of their good interests and become the best animals." If they don't pay attention to etiquette and violate justice, they will degenerate into the worst animals. " (Aristotle: Politics)

N From the end of 1 to the 5th century, the Roman Empire ruled Western Europe. During this period, quintilian, an educational theorist, wrote The Principle of Eloquence. This book discusses the education of the Roman Empire and holds that a person's moral and etiquette education should start from childhood. The poet Ovid warned young friends not to drink too much and not to wolf down their meals through his poem The Art of Love.

In 476 AD, the Western Roman Empire perished, and Europe began the process of feudalism. The period from 12 to17th century was the heyday of European feudal society. The feudal hierarchy formed in medieval Europe linked feudal lords and vassals with land relations. Strict and tedious aristocratic etiquette and court etiquette have been formulated here. For example, Eda, an Icelandic poetry collection written in 12 century, described the dining rules at that time in detail. Guests and friends sit at the top of the table and pay attention to toasting. ...

From n 14 to16th century, Europe entered the Renaissance. The famous books related to etiquette published in this period are: Courtiers edited by Italian writer Gasti Lian, which discusses political success, etiquette norms and its importance; Politeness, written by Erasmus, a Dutch humanist (1466- 1536), focuses on personal etiquette and dining etiquette, reminding people to pay attention to morality, cleanliness and appearance beauty. The British philosopher Francis Bacon (A.D.1561-KLOC-0/626) pointed out: "If a person has a good appearance, it will be of great benefit to his reputation, and, as Queen Isabella said, it will be" like a permanent letter of recommendation. " (Bacon's Essay on Etiquette and Appearance)

The n 17 and 18 centuries were the times when the wave of bourgeois revolution rose in Europe, and the Dutch revolution, the British revolution and the French revolution broke out one after another. With the establishment and development of capitalist system in Europe, etiquette in capitalist society gradually replaced etiquette in feudal society. Capitalist society pursues the principle of "everyone is born free and equal", but due to the economic, political and legal inequality of all social strata, real freedom and equality cannot be realized. However, the capitalist era also compiled a large number of etiquette works. For example, the Czech bourgeois educator Comenius (A.D. 1592- 1670) compiled the Handbook of Youth Behavior and so on. John Locke, a British bourgeois educational thinker, wrote A Random Talk on Education in A.D. 1693. Random Talk on Education systematically and deeply discusses the position and function of etiquette and the significance and methods of etiquette education. German scholar Menan Jess's etiquette monograph "On the etiquette of receiving dignitaries and ladies, and how women keep elegant posture towards men" was published in Hamburg in 17 16. British politician Lord chesterfield (1694- 1773) pointed out in his masterpiece Godson: "The smallest and poorest people in the world expect a good education from a gentleman, and they have the right, because they are equal to you in essence, and they are not inferior to you because of education and wealth. When you talk to them, you must be very modest and gentle, otherwise they will think you are proud and hate you. "

N Modern western scholars have compiled and published many etiquette books, among which the famous ones are: Western Etiquette and Custom by French scholar Jean Searle, Modern Western Etiquette by British scholar Elsie Burch Donald, Please Watch Your Manner by German writer Karl Mokward, Collection of Western Etiquette by American etiquette expert Elizabeth Post, and Success by American educator Carnegie.

(B) the differences between Chinese and Western etiquette

N Due to the differences in geographical environment, historical background and cultural traditions between the East and the West, there are obvious differences in etiquette between China and the West in some aspects. Now choose a profile. N 1。 Different greetings n2. Different "old" n3. Different banquets (sumptuous and thrifty; Dining) n4. Distinctive gift-giving etiquette n5. Talking topic (talking on the train, protecting privacy) n6. Language expression (western fathers thank their daughters, and China fathers criticize their sons for being polite); Please add!

Third, the concept, characteristics and principles of etiquette:

N 1, etiquette concept n Etiquette is the product of human civilization, and it is the criterion and norm of people's social communication, which is embodied in manners, manners, appearance, rituals and so on. N Politeness refers to people's respect and friendly behavior norms in the process of communication, such as respecting the old and caring for the young, and hospitality. N Etiquette refers to the forms that people treat people in communication activities, such as calling on people, paying a return visit, waving greetings, etc. N Instrument refers to a person's appearance, such as appearance, clothes, expression, posture, etc. Ceremony refers to activities with special procedures held on specific occasions, such as opening ceremony and welcoming ceremony.

N2。 Etiquette has three characteristics: (1)*** same sex; (2) inheritance; (3) development. N3。 Four principles of etiquette: (1) the principle of respect; (2) Abide by the principle; (3) the principle of moderation; (4) the principle of self-discipline