Jokes to amuse girls

Jokes and jokes to amuse girls

Jokes and jokes to amuse girls. Women are not to please, but they need high emotional intelligence. Then when telling jokes to girls, they can liven up the atmosphere and create topics. It’s not embarrassing, it’s something that kills two birds with one stone, but what kind of jokes do you need to make them funny? Jokes and jokes to make girls laugh. Jokes to amuse girls 1

1. Jokes to amuse girls

1. I said you were a pig, and you said: "It's weird that I am a pig." From then on, I called You are a "weird pig"! Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting to everyone: "I'm not a pig!"

2. Judge: "Why do you print counterfeit money?" The defendant said innocently: "Because I don't Can print real money." (Emotional question plus mentor/letter:)

3. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, we will see tomorrow. Just read the newspaper."

4. "Do you know what you are in my heart?" The goddess suddenly said this. I immediately asked: "What is it?" "Part of it is a male god." I was flattered, and then she said: "Part of it is menstrual disease."

5. There was a couple who had just gotten married. My husband was sent to a foreign country by his company. After a year, her husband returned home. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple fell asleep snoring. (Emotional issues plus mentor/letter:)

There was a sudden knock on the door in the middle of the night. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed: "No! Your husband is back!" The wife muttered: "No way, he is abroad."

6. A policeman came to Thailand To handle the case, I called a girl at night. After several twists and turns, the young lady kept touching the policeman’s penis while he was in his arms. The policeman was very comfortable and asked: "Do you want to come again?" The lady said sadly: "No, I just miss it a lot. I used to."

7. Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan , asking him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said: "Once upon a time, there was a person once upon a time." Then after a long silence, the eunuch couldn't bear it and asked: "Where is it down there?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "There is no more down there!"

8 , I went to buy steamed buns today and asked the bun seller: "Boss, what flavor of steamed buns do you want?" The boss said: "The meat buns are delicious." I replied: "Bring me a white sugar bun." Jokes to tease girls 2

1. One day, the cow posed a problem to the donkey, asking which of the two bugs under the word "Stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What a stupid donkey, men are on the left and women are on the right!

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project, building a 30-meter chimney. The construction period was two months and the cost was 300,000 yuan, but it required an advance payment. It was finally completed at the end of last year. Today I went to inspect it, but I was scolded to death and didn't get any money. ! The drawings are wrong, they want to dig a well!

3. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk Man: I don’t know. I just arrived.

4. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." Someone was passing by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

5. The turtle was injured. Let the snail go buy medicine. 2 hours passed. The snail hasn't come back yet. The turtle got angry and cursed: If he doesn't come back, I will die! At this time, a snail's voice came from outside the door: "Don't tell me I won't go again!"

6. Someone raises a pig, gets bored, and abandons it. However, the pig knows its way back, and abandoning it several times has no effect. One day, he drove around many corners and abandoned the pig. He called his family late at night and asked, "Has the pig returned?" The answer was, "Yes!" He roared, "Let him answer the phone. I'm lost!" p> 7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest. The ants rushed out and climbed on the elephant. , the fallen ant shouted "Strangle it to death"

8. One day in the computer class, a row of students' computers crashed, so a classmate stood up. Said: "Teacher, the computer has crashed, and our row is dead. At this time, many classmates said: "We are also dead."

At this time the teacher asked: "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" "

9. Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his butt and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed him a peach, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out, and the monkey was scared. , now you must measure it before eating.

10. When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Zhou Huajian’s songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl on the upper bunk borrowed it. Question: Where is my Zhou Huajian? The girl on the lower bunk replied: There was silence for two seconds, and then they all fell on the bed. Jokes to make girls happy 3

Little jokes to make girls happy. Paragraph 1

1. A friend had a dog for eight years and had deep feelings for it. The dog suddenly became ill and cost a lot of money, but it still died.

She was sad. She was so distraught that she couldn't calm down for a long time. I comforted her: "It's a good thing that the dog left first. Just imagine, if you left first, wouldn't the bereaved dog be even more pitiful!"

2. Dear, dear My best friend is pregnant because she already has a son. She wants to have a daughter this time. She had a B-ultrasound today and it’s a son again. She said on WeChat: Please comfort me.

Me: Don’t be sad, maybe in the future. He will be very girly!

3. The fat girl was wearing a short skirt and was being laughed at because her legs were like carrots.

Dumb couldn’t stand it any longer, so he ran forward. Comfort her: "The radish is not shameful, the shameful thing is that it still has radish whiskers. "

4. At the class reunion, I was filled with emotions. A girl cried: "I am 24 this year. I am not ugly and have a good personality. Why don't I have a boyfriend and no one chases me?"

The whole audience was silent and unable to comfort me. At this moment, Yi Erguo said leisurely: "That's because you still can't understand yourself correctly. ”

Little jokes to make girls happy 2

1. My best friend in high school was a rich second generation, and his family was rich and kind. But his grades were not good in exams. My brothers handed me cheat sheets. After three years, I managed to fool my parents, but I failed in the college entrance examination. Ten years later, I went to his house to have a drink with him, and he burst into tears when he mentioned that time. With a full face, he said: I really regret not studying hard at that time. Now that my brothers are in Beijing and Shanghai, it is difficult to meet. There is no one in London who can drink.

2. I was riding home during the holidays, and sitting next to me was a beauty like the milk tea girl.

I racked my brains along the way to think of how to strike up a conversation, but I just didn’t know how to start a conversation.

Seeing that We were about to arrive at the station, and I was so anxious that I couldn't sit still.

At this time, the girl glanced at me and said: We are about to arrive at the station, don't worry, there is a toilet at the station.

< p> 3. I was waiting for the bus in the evening. Since it had been almost ten minutes since the last bus arrived, I was worried that there would be no bus, so I asked the woman next to me. She definitely told me that the bus hadn’t arrived yet, so I stood at ease. Then wait for the bus.

One minute, five minutes, ten minutes later, I saw a man driving a car and picked up the woman...

I was left standing alone. There is a hair dryer on the sign.

4. There is a barbecue stall in front of my house. The owner insists on wearing a mask in summer, which can be said to be the conscience of the industry.

I often visited him one day. After chatting with the stall owner next door, I found out that the reason why he wore a mask was because there was too much dust on the roadside.