The most popular humorous jokes

The most popular humorous jokes

The most popular humorous jokes are filled with many aspects of content and knowledge in our lives, and sometimes they are as simple as a paragraph or a sentence. They bring us different feelings and meanings. The most popular humorous jokes are compiled below. The most popular humorous jokes 1

1. What should you do if your girlfriend often doesn’t reply to your messages? I suggest you change it to me, I will reply quickly.

2. I am very happy. I encountered a mathematical problem. Through my unremitting efforts and spirit of curiosity, I finally found the correct answer on the Internet.

3. The subway said please don’t bring it with you. I got off the bus decisively because I was so cute.

4. Are you blind? You can’t see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

5. Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky , one is in the first year of junior high school; the other is in the fifteenth year of junior high school.

6. I smile to the sky with my sword across my face, and after I finish laughing, I go to sleep.

7. Time is too thin and the gaps between fingers are too wide.

8. Wait for the mother-in-law to deliver the goods.

9. A man wants to divorce his wife after making money, but a man wants to divorce his wife if he can’t make money.

10. Our goal: focus on money and make a lot of money.

11. I am a passer-by that you turn around and forget, why should I accompany you to the end of the world in wasting your time?

12. During the period of intermittent depression, do not disturb strangers, only acquaintances Don't look for it.

13. Mom doesn’t have to worry about my studies. She holds a textbook in one hand and a lighter in the other, so she won’t light anything.

14. Being handsome is useless! In the end, you won’t be eaten by pawns!

15. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will find I am short-sighted.

16. There must be a road in front of the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road.

17. Yaoyaoqike is making trouble, I said grandson, you mentioned it.

18. Don’t count the stars based on your IQ, count the moon!

19. When life maliciously turns everything into black humor , I followed the trend and turned myself into a highly educated gangster.

20. The teacher said, if you don’t study hard now, finding a partner in the future will be just fill-in-the-blank questions. Study hard now, and finding a partner in the future will be multiple-choice questions!

21. When will the bright moon come? Look up.

22. A hero does not care about the way out, and a rogue does not care about his age.

23. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark...

24. You can’t play music, chess, calligraphy and painting, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

25. If you say money is a sin, everyone is fishing for it; if you say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; if you say it’s too cold at high places, everyone is crawling; if you say smoking and drinking are harmful to the body, even if you don’t quit; if you say heaven is the best It’s wonderful, don’t go!

The most popular humorous jokes on the Internet (ridicule)

1. Taking the bus is a sport that includes Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports A comprehensive exercise that integrates fitness programs.

2. I will know that you are a monster as soon as I open my eyes.

3. No one loves anyone with his hands in his pockets.

4. When the road is uneven, roar and continue to move forward.

5. There is no wall that is airtight, and there is no beam that cannot be hung.

6. Hold the kid’s hand and drag it away! If it doesn’t go, knock it out and keep dragging it away!

7. Does being big mean it’s powerful? Aren’t dinosaurs the same? Extinct!

8. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no. My mother said: I can have this. I said: I really don’t have this...

9. Ideal Very plump, but very skinny in reality.

10. Holding a kitchen knife in hand to cut the wires, sparks and lightning along the way.

11. Lei Feng did not leave his name when he did good deeds, but he recorded everything in his diary.

12. I am not a currency, how can I make everyone like me?

13. In addition to teeth, there is also love that makes people unable to extricate themselves.

14. I firmly believe that there will be a man who came to this world to be tortured by me.

15. When parents deceive their children, it is called education; when children deceive their parents, it is called deception; when they deceive each other, it is called generation gap. The most popular humorous jokes 2

Absolute classic: the most humorous little jokes

1. The cat was forced by life to sit in the tuberose hair salon owned by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon and asked for a hairdresser, but the cat refused to obey. The mouse said angrily: "I was chased to death at first, but now I'm being sent to my door, and I'm still being serious!"

2. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." Damn, there was a bastard passing by there. He thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

3. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Student answer: Let it smell the fart. The one who will cover the nose is the hand, and the others are the feet. The whole class fell down.

4. One person always farts loudly at work, and his colleagues can’t help but say: Can you just keep silent? Then I saw him sitting there shaking. A colleague asked him what he was doing, and he replied: I have set it to vibration now!

5. Someone was riding a bicycle and heard a passerby yelling: go, go, go... I thought, damn, I can also sing: Olai Olai... Before he finished speaking, a Planted in a ditch. Passers-by cursed: Damn it! I tell you Gou Gou Gou, are you still riding? You deserve to fall to death!

6. Carp and Turtle went to get their marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle his age, and the turtle said: 100. The clerk said regretfully: I'm sorry, but according to your family's rules, you are still underage and are not allowed to get married.

7. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent over she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was shocked, and then said to himself with a smile: "It's so damn clever!"

8. A couple was fishing by the river. The lady was always noisy, and after a while the fish took the bait, and the lady said: This fish is really pitiful. The husband said: Yes, as long as you shut up, won't it be fine?

9. The nature class teacher asked: "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again: "Does no one know?" At this time, someone from the back of the classroom said: "That's because the mind is naturally cool when you are calm."

10. The spider loved the ant deeply, but when he expressed his love, he was rejected. Rejected, the spider yelled: "Why? Why is all this happening?" The ant said timidly: "My mother said that those who stay online all day long are not good people!"

11. Xiaoguang is a A diligent student, he used his winter vacation to work part-time to earn tuition. During the day, he helped a butcher cut meat, and at night he worked as an intern at the hospital. One night, an old woman had an emergency and needed surgery. Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman shouted in panic: "Oh my God! You are the pig killer, where are you going to push me!

12. The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet. , when I was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door, and the girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" ". The boy next door replied in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng. "

13. A person wanted to vomit when he first got on the plane. The flight attendant took an empty bag, and when it was almost full, she went to get another bag and told "don't vomit". When I came back, I saw it all over the place, and asked why, He replied: "I saw it was almost full, so I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited..." The most popular humorous jokes 3

Humorous jokes

1. At a mobile phone party, a mobile phone said: "I belong to Nokia. Another said: "I am from Samsung." Another person who was very fashionably dressed said, "I'm from Apple." "At this time, a mobile phone in the corner said: "Don't argue, I belong to the copycat, and whoever I love belongs to whoever I love! ”

2. I was working in a hospital, and one day there was an earthquake. At this time, everyone ran outside. Only the old director of the internal medicine department calmly leaned against the wall, took out two antihypertensive pills, and took two pills... He I thought my blood pressure was high.

3. It’s snowing.

Ordinary youth: "Ah, it's snowing, so white!" Literary youth: "Snow, as clean as jade, purifies the soul and soul!" 2B youth: "Cao, God's poop is white!"

< p> 4. The frog carries a bottle of Erguotou to the turtle's house to ask for the secret of longevity. The turtle blew on his pipe pipe. He said unhurriedly: "Actually, it's quite simple. No matter what happens, just put your head in and talk about it first."

5. Sima Guang patted Wang Anshi on the shoulder: "Jiefu, follow me Fight? You are still too young." Wang Anshi responded calmly: "What's so great about it? I would have done it if I had done it. It's just that I have one less chance than you." Two cold gleams shot out of his eyes: "Opportunities are created by yourself. You only know that I smashed the vat, but you don't know how the child fell in, right?"

6. It's 40 degrees Celsius every day Above all, we also have to go out to run business. The barbecue industry is really developing rapidly, and now it has developed into every household.

7. A black man was bitten by lice. He blew out the candles and said: You will never see me again.

8. Director Zhang made a report, and there was a buzz in the audience, which soon overwhelmed the director's voice. The director was displeased and was about to get angry, when a young man stood up and shouted: "Everyone, stop making noise!" The whole place suddenly became quiet. The director was quite moved: After all, he has a close friend! The young man then said: "You guys are so noisy that you woke me up!"

9. I accidentally chatted with a girl today. I asked her what she looked like, and she said she was 16cm tall and had long hair. I asked if you could be more specific. She said this is not specific yet? I said of course, if I find a 168 mop and turn it upside down, wouldn’t it be the same as you? ! Then she blocked me directly...

10. The U.S. diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union. The Soviet reception officials accompanied them to see the great achievements of construction, and said proudly: By the time of the next five-year plan, Every Soviet family could own a private jet! The Americans were surprised and asked: What do they want the plane for? Soviet revisionist officials said: Of course it works! For example, if you hear in Moscow that bread has begun to be served in Leningrad, you can immediately fly out and get in line.

11. The snail’s mother said to the snail: You are not young anymore. Tomorrow I will take you to the village next door for a blind date. Snail said: I am only 12 years old and have not yet reached the legal age. Mom: It’s enough for you when we get there.

12. One night when I was surfing the Internet at home, Wangwang suddenly jumped out of the window and said to me: "Dear, I'm pregnant." I was shocked and thought to myself, I didn't cause any trouble, right? While he was in a daze, the man said again: "Go to the hospital for a check-up tomorrow." I thought to myself, who are you? Do you still want me to accompany you for a check-up? Are you trying to blackmail me? Just as he was thinking about it, the man said, "I can only deliver the goods to you the day after tomorrow." Damn, it turned out that I bought something from Ya's place in the afternoon.

13. On the way to learn the scriptures, Tang Seng was deeply worried about his three disciples. One was jumping up and down, one was lazy, and the other was always lagging behind. They were all high-status people, but they still didn’t pay attention to their quality. It was simply Just unorganized and undisciplined! So Tang Seng gave special training to his three apprentices. A month later, Tang Seng said: "Let's go together!"

14. I was wandering on the street with my friends. When I met a foreign friend, I said hello to him: "Haha!" My friend also said : "Haha, cool dog!" Wow...die!

15. Mr. Wang, the director of a certain examination and selection department, was rumored a few years ago to succeed Mr. Chen Luan as the dean of a certain inspection department. Mr. Wang joked that only the first year of the monkey is possible (the first year of the monkey is only possible when the monkey is the emperor, and it is impossible for the monkey. Therefore, he will have no chance). However, the caring eyes of the higher-ups have been showing favor recently, and there are strong signs of appointing Mr. Wang as the dean of a certain supervisory committee. Could it be that there really is a monkey in the first year? I'm going to check Mr. Li's zodiac sign... Or is it intentional... from a certain newspaper?

16. Newton visited the Zen Master because of mechanical problems. The Zen master spread a blanket under the slope, put the ball on the slope and let go. The ball rolled a short distance and then stopped. The Zen master changed the blanket to a smooth wooden surface, and the ball rolled a long distance before stopping.

Newton suddenly realized: Are you saying that force is what changes the state of motion of an object, and that as long as there is no force, it can continue to move? The Zen master said: I mean, get away as far as you want!

Seventeen. "When I was in college, my classmates went to a Sichuan restaurant together. When ordering, we ordered a piece of pork head. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn't understand it. The classmate smiled and pointed. He turned his head and said to the waiter: "Here! Pork head!" "Oh... I understand!" "From now on, this guy is nicknamed "Pig Head Pork".

18. While squeezing into the subway in the morning, a friend walked up to the stairs. He stood there motionless after reaching the first step. After a long while, he suddenly woke up and shouted: "Isn't this an escalator?!"

19. There is a TV show where a white radish is planted and turns into a carrot in autumn. Experts from across the country brainstormed. Water, fertilizer, land type, air, weather, and even planting methods were investigated. Three episodes: upper, middle and lower. The final conclusion is that the guy planted the wrong seeds.

Twenty. A man was walking on a dusty road, and a coachman driving a four-wheeled carriage caught up with him. He said to the driver: "Boss, can you please take my coat to the city?" The driver said: "Okay, but how can you get your coat again?" He said: "This is easy to handle, I just need to stay in my coat."

Twenty-one, Wei Xiaobao, Yang Guo, Guo Jing and Linghu Chong competed against each other for wives. Yang Guo said: My wife is willing to jump off a cliff for me. Guo Jing said: My wife is willing to break up with my father for me. Linghu Chong said: My wife is willing to be imprisoned in the Shaolin Temple for me. Wei Xiaobao smiled and said nothing. Everyone looked back and saw that Shuang'er was already asking Huang Rong, Xiao Longnv, and Ren Yingying for their phone numbers and QQ numbers.

22. After watching the news about a man in Xiamen who was paralyzed after eating 12 moon cakes all night, my girlfriend asked me blankly: "Why does this man keep eating moon cakes? He also ate 12 moon cakes. Months!! ”

23. Ordinary young people: “The girls we chased together in those years” The trendy literary youth: “The girls we had sex with in those years” "The girls we downloaded together in those years" ~

24. Some petite girls, I beg you to stop saying you are fat! Weighing less than 100 kilograms, each one has slender arms and legs. They are as mini as if they had stepped out of Lilliput, and they kept saying: Ah! So fat! I want to lose weight! As a result, when I stretched out my calves, they were as thin as my arms! Dare I ask if you want to be as thin as a pad? There is a little line on the front and side, so thin that you can’t even see it! ! You're not afraid no matter how you move, right?

Twenty-five. A little snail had just climbed across a bridge when the bridge suddenly collapsed with a roar. The little snail sweated profusely and sighed: "Oh my god, I am not running fast, but I am dead."

Twenty-six, I'm sorry, miss, please Would you please take your breasts off my hands?

Twenty-seven. Only those who are lazy will complain and suffer because they can’t get up every morning. People who are truly motivated will call and ask for leave immediately.

Twenty-eight. In the restaurant, a man pointed at a two-meter-long tofu on the plate and shouted: "What ears do you have! I ordered home-style tofu!" The restaurant chef heard this and was puzzled. : "Isn't it long enough?"

Twenty-nine, the moth went on a trip, and at night, it was about to find a place to rest. But I found an Internet cafe in front of me, so I decided to stay there. Unexpectedly, as soon as he entered the door, he was tied up by a spider. Facing the spider's butcher's knife, the moth not only sighed; Damn it, it's a black shop!

Thirty. A truly good man is not someone who doesn’t play games, DOTA or WOW. But when he is playing the game, as long as you send a text message, a phone call or a QQ message, he will directly exit the game for you. A netizen complained: This kind of people are commonly known as "pig-like teammates." Don't team up with him!

Thirty-one, Peng said to the moon: You are my other half. Yue said to Peng: I didn't agree to marry you. You have to remember that we are just friends at the moment.

Thirty-two, Apple is sick, Orange goes to see it. When they arrived at Pingguo's house, they saw Pingguo lying on the bed with thick gauze wrapped around his shoulders. Chengzi asked: How could it be so seriously injured?

Apple’s mother said angrily: It’s not its own fault. She’s crazy about iPhone. She thinks that if she cuts it, she will become an Apple. It’s just a dream!

Thirty-three, Mu said to Zhu: Who is standing next to you? Why don’t I recognize him?

Thirty-four. A certain child remembers English words like this: gose (dog dies) mouth (cat dies) earth (starve to death) knees (you die) was (I die) bus (father dies), yes (father is dead), girls (brother is dead), miss (sister is dead), school (all dead) DOES (all dead) ONE DOLLAR (finished)! ! ! Awesome!

Thirty-five. The monkey teacher is teaching other young animals in the classroom. Suddenly, the student Xiaozhu farted loudly, and the class immediately became excited. The monkey teacher was so angry that he dragged the toad out of the classroom without even thinking and gave him a severe corporal punishment. Just when the toad wanted to defend himself, the monkey teacher yelled: "Looking at how bloated your belly is, I know you have a lot of farts!"